DVD: Hey all! I just thought up a great storyline!
DVD185: What?
DVD: It's...
DVD185: What's "it's"?
DVD: ...Dang it. I lost it.
DVD185: -.-
DVD: However, I thought up this one as a backup plan.
DVD185: n.n Yay!
(Insert divider here)
DVD: I do not own the Circle of Magic, The Circle Opens (both by Tamora Pierce), or The Legend of Zelda.
(Insert another divider here)
Link, the Hero of Time, the great hero who saved Hyrule on more than one occasion, who was absolutely confident that one day he would marry the Princess Zelda, (even with that freak Ruto after him), the greatest boy in the ancient land's vast history, was bored.
(A/n: And then I take a big pot, and I hit him on ze head! (whacks Narrator on the head) Heh, heh, heh.
Narrator: Ow.)
At the moment, he was in the process of taking a walk around the farthest reaches of the Lost Woods. He wasn't enjoying it, either. Saria had forced him to go. Something about not getting enough exercise. He figured that shooting deku scrubs from his front porch was exercise enough, but apparently she didn't think so...
Link grumbled to himself, his arms back behind his head in a stretch as he walked. It wouldn't have been so bad, he thought to himself, if she hadn't woken him up at this ungodly hour to do so...
He sighed, swept his hat off his head, and shook Navi out of it. "If I have to get exercise, then you do too."
Navi turned red as she scowled at him. "Unlike you, I don't need exercise! I move around constantly! Don't you notice me at all!"
Link rolled his eyes. "Unfortunately." This comment served only to make Navi angrier. Link was very pleased.
Navi's rant was cut short when an arrow suddenly zipped right by her and almost pinned her to a nearby tree. She shrieked and began yelling at Link. "Don't shoot at me! I don't deserve this! All I do all day is help you, and the moment you think I'm getting annoying, you pin me to a tree! Or put me in a bottle! Or try to freeze me! Or whatever you feel like doing at the moment!"
Link frowned and tried to hush her. "Navi, shut up for a second! I didn't—"
"No respect! Ever! Stupid Deku Tree dying before he can tell me to stop following you around... Why did he even assign me to such a lazy, inconsiderate boy, anyway? And now you're trying to tell me to shut up! I can't believe you-"
Very suddenly, all Link could hear once more was the distant sound of "Saria's song" being played by skullkids in the background and the fluttering of birds. This was due to the fact that his fairy was now residing inside of a firmly corked bottle. This did not please her. It did please Link, however, especially since he had been trying to explain to her that he hadn't shot at her in the first place.
Now he looked around, trying to figure out where the arrow had come from...
Link heard a soft 'kerchunk-chink-chink-chink-chink' sound from behind him and whirled, confused. He dug in his pack for his hookshot and stared at it when he found it. This was the only hookshot in Hyrule that he knew of...
Kerchunk-chink-chink-chink-chink! There it was again! Link was sure it was the hookshot, but no one could have stolen it, because he was currently staring at it, and he was certain that there was no one else around.
Navi suddenly spotted something. She turned bright yellow, made annoying ringing sounds, and started shouting louder as she tried to catch Link's attention. Unfortunately, she was in a bottle.
"Enemy! Enemy! LINK! LOOK OUT!"
He didn't hear her, of course. This specific type of bottle was very soundproof, so Link mistook her muffled warnings as more shouting and ranting about her current residence inside of a bottle. Sucks to be Navi.
Link heard a twig snap behind him and turned around, drawing his sword. He glared threateningly at a particularly aggressive-looking tree.
Something was wrong. Whatever enemy was approaching, it had scared off the skull kids, and the forest was silent. Link looked around him, but couldn't catch any sign of any sort of monster. He pulled out his Lens of Truth, but even through its magic eye, Link could see nothing different.
Then he heard a sudden noise above him, and looked up just in time to block a surprise attack from the sky. His attacker jumped away and landed a few feet away from him. Link turned to look and found himself facing his Shadow.
"You again! I thought I already killed you in the Water Temple years ago!" Link shouted.
Shadow Link was a mirror image of Link, born from the darkness in Ganon's Castle. The only differences between Link and his shadow were Shadow Link's black clothing, black skin, and glowing red eyes. His sword and shield were forged from shadow, and his only weakness was the fact that he didn't have the equipment that Link had. In the Water Temple, Link easily defeated him by using the Biggoron Sword, a blade considerably longer than the Shadow Sword (hint, hint).
"As long as you live, you will always have a shadow," his counterpart responded. "I will only be killed when you are. Then, with you out of the way, Ganon can execute his plans and finally take over the world!"
Link blinked, not having expected a response from the shadowy figure, who hadn't said a word on their last encounter. He steeled himself for a fight, drawing his sword and biting out a response. "So your main goal in life is to kill yourself so that somebody else can profit? Seems like a pretty pathetic existence to me."
Shadow Link scowled at him. "I'm trying to destroy you, you fool..."
This was met with a shrug. "From what you've said, that's the same thing."
Shadow Link clenched his teeth in anger. "Enough talk! This ends now!" He rushed at Link. For what seemed like an eternity, Link and his shadow exchanged blows, but without his fairy's Focus Magic, he couldn't seem to stay centered on his Shadow well enough to hit him. He could barely block effectively.
After a few long minutes, Link threw an attack, but Shadow Link parried, grabbing the blade of Link's sword and using the leverage to yank it out of Link's hands. The sword embedded itself in the ground a few feet away with the hilt pointed straight up. Shadow Link's next blow was with the flat of his blade, and it knocked Link to the ground. Shadow Link prepared to deliver the finishing blow.
As Link landed, he noticed something glimmering a little to his right. As Shadow Link swung at him, Link rolled to the side, grabbing the bottle. Shadow Link's attack missed, and his sword gouged a trench in the ground an inch from his head. Link seized this opportunity and hurled the bottle at Shadow Link's face.
Instinctively, Shadow Link slashed at the missile and it shattered, letting its captive go free. Navi flew at Shadow Link's face, shining a bright red-orange, screaming a menacing, "HEY! LOOK! LISTEN! HEY! LOOK! LISTEN!"
"Aauuuugh!" Shadow Link began swatting at Navi with his sword, trying desperately to put an end to the dreadful noise. "Why do you keep this demon around, anyway?" Link pulled his sword out of the ground and gave his Shadow a feral grin.
Shadow Link finally managed to snatch Navi out of the air. He bashed her with his shield and threw her to the ground. She landed and twitched with one last, feeble "Look..." He turned to face his opponent and received a faceful of full-charged Spin Attack. He fell to the ground with a thud.
"Impressive," he said as he got slowly to his feet. "You're just as resourceful as I expected." He put away his sword and shield and started walking toward Link. "But now it's time to end this."
"What do you mean?" Link said, backing away, his own sword still held expectantly.
"If you remember, the last time we met, all I had to fight you with was a sword and shield. You, on the other hand, had a bow and a hookshot, among other weapons."
"Like those helped." Link shot back, beginning to circle his opponent. "You blocked every arrow, and the hookshot was too slow to catch you with. I might as well have had only my sword and shield. And you kept catching my sword and standing on it, too, that was really annoying."
Shadow Link glared at him, annoyed that he had been interrupted. "You had the extra items, and believe it or not, they did help. When Ganon created me, he didn't anticipate you collecting additional items, and before he realized this, you had already awakened the Forest and Fire sages. Being less equipped, I lost our fight in the Water Temple. But that's changed now. Ganon has had plenty of time to make shadows of your weapons. Now that I have mastered each of them, it will be all too easy to defeat you."
"That's what you think, punk! Those items didn't help me during our last fight, and they're not going to help you while I have those same items! You're going down." Link yelled at him, wondering why his Shadow still didn't have his sword out. He charged, taking advantage of this.
Shadow Link whipped out the shadow hookshot and pulled himself into one of the trees. In a blur, the hookshot had been put away and an arrow was nocked on the shadow bow. "Time to find out just how wrong you are."
Link's face turned red in anger as he ducked behind his shield, dodging an arrow. Shadow Link laughed, "What's wrong, little light?" he taunted. "A bit out of your reach? Why don't you come up here and fight me?"
Link blocked another arrow and pulled out his own hookshot. He pulled himself up to a different branch, a good couple yards away from Shadow Link.
Shadow Link fired his hookshot past Link. The hook grabbed onto a tree behind Link, and Shadow Link hit Link with his sword as he shot past. Link yelled in surprise and whirled, ignoring the pain lancing through his right arm. It was a shallow cut, and it wouldn't affect his ability to wield his shield, but it still hurt! He scowled at Shadow Link's smirk. "Hey! That's not fair! I can't do that!"
"You could if you tried, Light." Shadow Link replied coolly, wiping the (ketchup) off his sword and sheathing it again.
"And why do you keep calling me 'Light'?" Link demanded.
"It starts with an 'L,' and it's the opposite of Shadow," Shadow Link shrugged. "Now, are you going to stand there, or are you going to fight?"
"Fine!" Link shot his hookshot at the tree that Shadow Link was standing in. The hookshot dug into the tree and started to pull Link toward his opponent, but Shadow Link kicked it loose.
Without the hookshot pulling Link forward, he fell to the ground with a deafening crunch, only barely able to roll to avoid breaking anything important. "Ow. That's not fair, either!" he shouted up.
Shadow Link raised an eyebrow. "And I care, why?" He pulled out a grappling hook and snagged a higher branch with it. He took a moment to test its hold, then swung downward, knocking into Link with both feet just as he was getting up. Link was slammed backwards into a tree and Shadow Link's momentum carried him forward and around the tree.
Pulling himself sideways with the rope, he ran around the tree a second time, dropped to the ground, and pulled the rope tight, effectively pinning Link to it. "You disappoint me, Link. That was far too easy." He secured his rope to itself and advanced on the struggling Link, pulling his bow out again and nocking an arrow.
Link's eyes widened as Shadow Link pulled back and aimed at his forehead, about to fire at point blank range. "Goodbye, little light..." He released.
Abruptly, the arrow disappeared. Or, more accurately, it was thrust to the side and was now lying on the ground, sliced cleanly in two, along with a small thin dagger and a small leather pouch. "What the...?" Shadow Link stared at his broken arrow and reached for the bag, curiously. As he opened it up, Link strained to get a look at it.
"Seeds?" Shadow Link hissed. "Somebody has the nerve to throw things at me, and it's seeds?"
Link, sensing his shadow's extreme fury, piped up, "Wasn't me."
Shadow Link threw the bag at his feet furiously, spilling the seeds everywhere, and turned back to Link. "That's it. I was going to just finish you off in one blow, but now I'm mad." He put the bow away and unsheathed the shadow blade. "I'm going to make your death as slow and painful as possible."
Link eeped, shrinking down into the ropes as much as possible.
Shadow Link held his sword right under Link's chin, forcing him up again. "First of all, who's the wise guy who's helping you? I already took care of your fool fairy, and anyway, she can barely hold a dagger, much less throw one."
Link gulped. "I don't know who's helping me! I don't even know why! I ju... I ... I..." Link's gaze angled away from Shadow Link, going gradually higher and higher, his eyes widening further.
"Quit stalling and tell me!" Shadow Link roared. "And don't think I'm going to fall for that trick, either. There's nothing behind me, and I know it."
Link's mouth opened and shut several times, but nothing came out. His attention was not on the current conversation at all.
"You're quite a good actor, but that won't save you now. I—" he paused as two large rose petals landed on his shoulder. "What the...?" he glanced behind him, turned back to Link, then did a double take. "What The?"
Behind him, the seeds had all sprouted, rapidly shooting roots into the ground and growing into a large mass of writhing roses and thorns. "What on earth is this?" Shadow Link yelled to no one in particular.
"I don't know!" Link screamed, squeezing his eyes shut. "But I could run faster if you hadn't tied me up!"
Shadow Link normally would have replied to this, but at the moment he was otherwise occupied. He sheathed his sword and pulled his bow out again, this time lighting a fire arrow. "Let's see how well this plant likes a little fire!"
He shot it into the giant rosebush. The bush shook in seeming pain, dropping more petals, then scrunched in on itself to smother the flames. No visible damage had occurred. The plant expanded again, shooting the arrow back towards its owner. The shaft was pierced through several times with long, sharp thorns.
Shadow Link gaped at the plant monster, then pulled out his Shadow Sword again. He tried to hack at one of the thick, thorny vines, but as he swung his sword, the plant grabbed it, yanked it out of his hands, and pulled it into the mass of thorns and vines. The plant shook a little bit, then spit out the shards of Shadow Link's broken blade.
Shadow Link then turned to run, but two vines shot out of the monster, wrapped around his arms, and pulled him into the thorns. A few seconds later, all that remained of Link's opponent was a large mess of torn clothes and a pool of (ketchup). (Saying that Link peed his pants would be an understatement).
As Shadow Link died, all his shadowy equipment faded away, including the ropes holding Link. He was dumped suddenly onto the ground, drawing the attention of the plant thing. It began shooting vines out at Link, but some unseen force stopped it.
After that, the plant drew all of its vines into the mass, and remained still.
To be continued...
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DVD: (insert self-congratulatory statement(s) here)
DVD185: (insert statement telling readers to stayed tuned for the next chapter here)
Daricio: (insert Daricio here) AND HERE! (grins) (insert statement of having helped type the story here) (Insert absence of Daricio here)
(Insert absence of further chapter here)