Okay, I know it's the beginning of November, but I'm already feeling christmas mad! And by starting this now, I can write it alongside Tee's Choice and hopefully have it finished in time for Christmas. This is basically a bit of a re-write of my other story about the twins, which wasn't really going anywhere, and it's my idea of what could maybe happen in a Dumping Ground christmas special, if there ever was one.

Billie

I've been finding it hard to sleep. It started off as a small thing, from time to time; but lately, the nights that I just can't stop thinking everything through, that I just lay awake thinking everything over, have been becoming more and more regular. Tonight is one of the worst nights; I woke up at five, and have just been staring at the ceiling for the last two hours, trying to will my eyes to close, the memories to leave me; just once.

Toni snores loudly beside me; even though my twin had a worse time than me, much worse, I don't think it was more than five seconds of lying down before she fell fast asleep. She's happy here, now; and I know I should be too. It's okay now. I'm all right.

It's so stupid; right now, a normal nine year old would be being kept awake by fears of monsters; snakes or spiders maybe. Fears that would cause them to sit up and turn the light on, feel scared for about a second, before they run to their parents and the world is safe again. I'd give anything to be them right now, to have worries that could disappear that fast, dry up before my eyes like water.

Right now, my head feels way too heavy to sleep; thick as clotted cream with worry and tiredness. It's morning though, I guess; even though the sky outside is still so dark you'd never think it; it's mid December, after all.

Thinking this, I suddenly realise just how long Toni and I have been in care. It's been almost a year now; it was January when we were taken away from our dad. And we haven't seen him since.

Ugh, stop thinking, Billie! All it does is make me feel depressed and more tired than ever. Think of something else; anything.

The darkness is the first thing that comes into my mind. It's so weird in winter, how it always looks like night, even when it's early morning and the birds are singing - the ones that haven't migrated off somewhere, anyway. It's actually unusually bright today, a pinky purple sheen of light coming from the tiny slit in the curtain. It's different somehow, from all those other nights I've lain awake at this time.

It reminds me of a rhyme my mother used to tell us sometimes, from the big book of nursery rhymes, stories and fables she'd always read us before we went to bed. The book was from my granny, I think, not that I've ever met her. Dad threw the book in the fire one day later, when things began to get difficult. Granny was a stupid old bat who should never have cursed the world with her existence, he said as he did it. They both were; her and mum.

I wish I had that book now; anything to distract me from this. I still remember the rhyme, though. Red sky at night, shepherd's delight; red sky in the morning, shepherd's warning.

Great; we're going to have a bad weather day then, I guess. Either that, or it's a terrible omen of some disaster to come, like in the book my teacher read us back in October. Thinking about that makes me feel kind of creeped out. I've always got scared easily; Toni gets fed up and calls me a wimp.

I've got more important things to worry about than monsters now, though; real thoughts that have been crowding my mind all night long.

I sigh dismissively and walk over to the window, opening the curtains. No ghosts? No alien invasions? No axe murderer hovering over the window sill? Didn't think so.

I almost don't register it; it's still so dark. But that's what draws me towards it; or rather the light that contrasts it, that eery glow shining off the ground. I bend my head curiously, still slightly creeped out, to look.

And suddenly I'm a kid again, the thickness of worry and tiredness disappearing in an instant, replaced by a hyper burst of excitement. All that time my thoughts were haunting me, and this was all it took me to be happy.

"Toni!" I yell. "Wake up! Get Floss and Finn and everyone! It's SNOWING!"

Maybe I really will be all right, this christmas.