"What to do? What to do? Voldemort chanted to himself "I know! A to-do-list! I've been meaning to make one for a while. Now what shall I do?" he excitedly giggled as he snatched a quill and parchment from a nearby table.

Lord Voldemort's To-Do-List

1. Kill Harry Potter (must happen soon)

2. Kill Hermione Granger (incompetent-mudblood-too-smart-for-her-own-good)

3. Kill Ron Weasely (is that his name?)

4. Wash dishes (there are none left to use that are clean!)

5. Torture death-eaters (they should wash the dishes)

6. Torture death-eaters some more (it will be fun)

7. Experiment using Chinese-wizard-torture-methods on Wormtail (hopefully they work!)

8. Kill Harry Potter (very very important)

9. Kill Harry Potter's friends (also very very important)

10. Look for new lair (this is getting too big…Dumbledore keeps killing my death-eaters)

11. See how many times I can spin around on the spot with out getting dizzy and falling over (current record 5 times)

12. Find wife (must be: tall, intelligent, a witch, likes snakes)

13. Correction! Tell Nagini to find me a wife

14. Get social security number (I need money to bribe people, I had no inheritance remember!)

15. Kill the entire Weasely family (they are a bunch of blood traitors)

16. Make more horcruxes (Dumbledore keeps destroying them!)

17. Find and kill Santa Claus (he is a fraud and kept giving me coal for Christmas!)

18. Conquer Hogwarts (my true home will finally be mine!)

19. Start yoga (should help my inner aim when shooting spells)

20. Kill Harry Potter (I hate him so bad)

21. Give Shnookles a bath (he smells really bad! I didn't know that dogs smelled)

22. Make Snape jump around on one foot for an hour (will be highly amusing!)

23. Start recruiting more death-eaters (desperately needed!)

24. Destroy the Order of the Phoenix (they need a reality check)

25. See if I can wire into Potter's brain (as painful as it may be)

26. Get Instant Messaging Wizarding Network (IMWN) to talk to random people and terrify them (I will love that!)

27. Kill as many people as I can in one day using as many different methods possible

28. Make a worship wall to all past leaders (Hitler, Suharno etc)

29. Make an attempt to be in the worlds Guinness records (hopefully for kissing a girl for the longest time)

30. Put fear into the hearts of all again (mwahahaha)

p.s. this is not in any particular order…Lord Voldemort

"There, done!" Voldemort exclaimed as he sealed the parchment and labelled it as 'PRIVATE'. "My list is complete".

Okay…so I was incredibly bored when I wrote this, so it is most likely to be either hilarious or crap…gets on knees and preys for it to be hilarious…so….grins like Cheshire cat and runs away…review if you like!

Mwah

Queen of the Scoubies