AN: I don't own RWBY (though I wish I could make a webseries as awesome as it). This was written as a birthday present for a friend who loves Blake.
"Of Shadows and Bows"
By EsmeAmelia
Normally when Blake couldn't sleep, she would read a book, but she didn't think she could concentrate on a book tonight. Tonight was the first time since coming to Beacon when she was sleeping without her bow . . . and the first night when her teammates knew who she really was – what she really was.
She slowly reached up, running a finger over her velvety cat ear, letting out a deep sigh. Her cat ears felt slightly naked and chilly after being covered for so long. Her friends had probably thought her weird when they first met her. After all, girls like her didn't usually wear bows. Bows were for girls who were happy and outgoing and wanted people to notice how they looked. Girls who wanted people to say, "Hey, cute bow" and with that assume that they were nice and friendly and fun to be around. Girls like . . . well, like Ruby.
And who in the world wore black bows? Bows were supposed to be bright, cheery colors, right?
Yes, her teammates definitely thought her weird back then.
But what was a little weirdness compared to the truth? What was wearing a black bow all the time compared to not being human?
And that wasn't even taking her past into consideration . . .
She rolled over, hearing Ruby's cute little snores – they seemed louder tonight, but that might have been because her ears were uncovered for once. She squeezed her pillow, taking in a long, slow breath, but that breath exited in a quick blow. How would this new information affect their team? Could her friends ever trust her again, or would they always be looking over their shoulders in order to make sure she wouldn't betray them to the White Fang?
"Is . . . is anyone awake?" she found herself asking, perhaps desperate to hear another voice in the dark.
"Yes." It was Weiss, which made Blake's stomach twist. "What's going on?"
Blake let out a long sigh. "I was just . . . thinking, that's all."
"About what?" There was a hint of edge in Weiss's voice. "About how you lied to all of us?"
Blake squeezed her eyes shut, willing the tears that were threatening to form to go away. "I . . ."
She didn't know what she was going to follow the "I" with, but she didn't get the chance to finish whatever she was going to say anyway, since the creaking of mattress springs interrupted her. A few more creaks later, she felt Weiss sit on the foot of her bed, but she still refused to open her eyes.
"Look," Weiss said, "I get not announcing your secret to the whole school, but we're your teammates. Teammates are supposed to trust each other."
"And would you have trusted me if I told you the truth?" Blake still didn't open her eyes. "Could you sleep at night knowing a former cult member was in the same room?"
"Well I can't sleep now."
"Neither can I."
Weiss sighed. "I can't be all forgive and forget about this, okay? I don't like being lied to."
"I don't know who does." Blake still kept her eyes shut.
"Can you look at me?"
Blake inhaled as deeply as possible as she forced her eyes open. Though Weiss was in silhouette against the moonlight, Blake could feel the weight of her glare. "I don't expect you to forgive me." The Faunis's voice came out in a whisper. "I can't even forgive myself for the things I've done over the years."
Weiss sucked in a tiny breath, as if something were just now occurring to her. "Have . . . have you killed people?"
With those words, the tears Blake had been trying so desperately to hold in escaped, dripping slowly towards her ears. She remembered the feeling when her whip choked the life out of a human who, she had been told, had done her kind wrong – the triumph that her kind was avenged.
"I . . . I was a different person then . . ." Her voice was shaking. It was true, of course – she had been a different person then. Vengeful, zealous . . . yet she was still herself.
Weiss sighed again. "I . . . don't know what to say." She brought her knees up to her chest, resting her hands on them and resting her chin on her hands. "Look, I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with at the best of times and you probably think I'm the spoiled rich girl who can't possibly understand what it's like to be a victim of prejudice and violence. Well you're right – I don't. I don't know what that's like, so I guess I'm not really fit to judge you." She hesitantly reached down, her finger lightly brushing Blake's eyes. "But I still don't like it."
Blake lifted her head a few inches off her pillow, now focusing her Faunis night vision on making out her teammate's face. Weiss's face was still glaring, but there was a small hint of softness in it. "I don't know what to say either. It's not like I can go back in time and undo the things I did."
"I know," said Weiss.
"But then again – at least in books – time travel can be a complicated thing. I've read plenty of books where someone tries to go back in time to make things better and they end up making things worse."
Weiss shrugged, now staring at Blake's cat ears. "I like cats," she said softly.
"I'm not a cat."
"Yes, of course I know that." Weiss's voice was slightly harsh now. "I just . . . well, your ears are cute, okay?"
Was this how Blake's friends would see her now? Would they try to pet her ears like she was an animal? If word got out about her true nature, would people start setting out scratching posts and litter boxes to play jokes?
"I don't like people touching them," she found herself saying.
"I wasn't asking to touch them!" Now Weiss's voice was offended. "I just said they were cute, that's all."
Blake took a deep breath. "I'm sorry."
The two girls sat in silence for a while, neither knowing what to say. Part of Blake wished that Weiss would just leave . . . but another part wanted her to stay.
"So . . ." Weiss finally said, as if she were desperate to break the silence, ". . . what's it like having cat ears?"
Blake shrugged. "What's it like not having cat ears?"
Weiss's mouth twisted from side to side, as if she were seriously thinking about how to answer that question. "Look, I'd like to say this doesn't change anything and it doesn't matter that you were part of the White Fang once since you're not part of them anymore . . . but I can't. I'm sorry, but I can't."
Blake wasn't expecting instant forgiveness from anyone – least of all from Weiss – but the words still stung. Despite all the horrifying consequences of time travel in her books, she found herself wishing she could go back and stop herself from ever joining the White Fang. But then again, what sort of person would she have been if she hadn't joined? What sort of ripples in time would such a change cause?
"Well…" Weiss continued in an awkward voice, "I guess what I'm trying to say is . . . I need time to think about this."
"I understand," Blake said in a low voice.
"Well then . . . good night."
"Good night."
Blake lay back down as her teammate went back to her own bed, but she still didn't sleep. Sleep probably wouldn't come for the whole night and possibly not tomorrow night either. The tears threatened to come again as the truth weighed down on her mind.
Nothing would be the same now.
THE END
