Ok This is my first Glee fic so thank you for reading it. A big thanks to everyone who helped me get this done, you guys are lifesavers! If you're reading my other fic, my most giant apologies I am working on it but school and life are overpowering me. I do not own Glee, or any Glee character, or much of anything really. Please read and review.
Song Credits: My Beloved Monster - The Eels, I Need You - Alicia Keys
As soon as they had hung up their phones Santana grabbed Brittany by the hand and led her in to the glee room. As soon as Santana was sure they were alone she turned to Brittany angrily.
"What were you thinking? We had a talk about this. No sharing personal things with other people." Santana said pacing back and forth frantically trying to plan out damage control in her head. Then she looked at Brittany who was just smiling at her. "Why are you so happy?" She asked Brittany smile, if possible, got bigger as she walked towards Santana.
"We were holding hands, in the hallway. I like holding hands" She said reaching for Santana and intertwining their fingers. Santana could help but smile as she looked down at their hands. "See you're smiling too." Brittany commented. Santana's anger was dissipating when the door opened and Kurt walked in on them standing together.
"Hey am I interrupting?" He asked. Santana dropped Brittany's hands as if she burned and glared at him. The intensity of the glare surprised Kurt and he quickly left the room. Santana turned to Brittany angry again.
"You have no idea the amount of work I'm going to have to do now." Santana mumbled. The door opened again and Kurt poked his head in.
"Actually I was coming in here because I forgot my German notebook." He said quickly.
"Get out of here Freak Boy!" Santana screamed.
"Right." He said closing the door. "I'll just get that later." He mumbled.
"See, now I have to fix this too. What were you thinking?" Santana demanded. Brittany just looked at her.
"It was an accident I guess. I thought I was helping you. Letting them know you didn't tell Rachel about the baby. I guess I got confused." Brittany said looking down.
"No shit, when aren't you confused?" Santana spat angrily. She regretted her words when Brittany looked back up at her with tears in her eyes.
"Don't be mean to me Santana, you're not supposed to be mean to me." Brittany said forcefully through her tears. Santana hugged her.
"I'm sorry I yelled at you, but you can't say those things around people. They'll start to talk." She said. And she heard Brittany muffle something into her shoulder. "What?" She asked. Brittany pulled out of the hug and said firmly.
"I don't care. I hate being your secret. You know no one will say anything they're scared of you." Santana became angry again.
"You don't understand." She said turning her back to Brittany who gently put her arms around Santana from behind.
"I know you." Brittany said gently. "At least I think I do, you said I matter more to you than anything. Don't worry about other people." Santana was quiet for a while as she thought. Logically she knew high school wasn't anything really in the grand scheme of her life, but despite what she felt when she was with Brittany logic told her that throwing away everything she had built at school for "love" was insane. Santana shrugged Brittany off of her.
"You're wrong." Santana said coldly. "You matter as much to me as any other pawn at this school. Sex is NOT dating, but of course you couldn't understand something as simple as that. I have places to be." Santana said pushing past Brittany making sure not to look back at her because seeing Brittany cry would make her cry too, and she couldn't have that. She left Brittany alone in the glee room.
One week without Brittany and Santana was on a warpath. Aside from the time during and right after sectionals, Santana had been avoiding Brittany. No one was safe, even teachers were refraining from asking her to answer questions in class in fear of getting verbal whiplash. Coach Sylvester even called her in office and praised her new "not taking shit from anybody" attitude.
"I see a young me in you S, of course I never had a need for a lesbo phase." Sue said snarkily. Santana gave Sue a full force glare. "Please S I'm not scared of you, just keep up the good work and you'll always remain head of the Cheerios, you know until someone better comes along or I loose interest in you." Sue said. "Now get out of my office." Santana rolled her eyes and made her way to Sue's door as Sue called in the "next victim". As she was walking out Brittany was walking in as they passed each other in the doorway their fingers touched. It was something they had always done, found secret ways to touch each other in public, small touches in the hallway, secret meetings in the bathrooms, playing with each other's hair at glee club. Brittany gave her a half smile but Santana simply kept walking. "Get in here Dead Weight." Sue called and Brittany sighed and walked in. "That's my new nick name for you, Dead Weight." Sue informed her. Santana walked by Sue's office window so she could here there conversation, she wasn't interested in why Brittany was in Sue's office but she didn't like Sue being mean to Brittany. "You've been next to useless lately." Brittany shrugged.
"I've been really tired lately Coach." She answered. Sue scoffed.
"Yeah well maybe if you weren't so busy going down on Santana you wouldn't be too tired to get the routine down." Sue snapped. Santana fumed, she wanted to go in to Sue's office and scream at her for embarrassing Brittany like that. However she simply walked to her next class.
When it came time for glee Santana considered skipping but Rachel insisted she show because "We need the team at its best at all times just in case something comes up." Something like what, Santana didn't know but she gave Rachel credit for approaching her when everyone else had just been backing off. She sat in the corner as everyone filed in.
"Alright guys today anyone is free to sing anything they've been working on. This is a great chance to get out any emotions that have been bothering you before the weekend." Mr. Schue said excitedly. He looked around and no one seemed interested. "Come on guys, be adventurous." Brittany raised her hand surprising everyone. "Brittany do you have a question?" Mr. Schue asked
"No I have a song." Brittany said shyly. Santana looked up her surprised.
"Brittany that's great! Is it the one we discussed a few weeks ago?" He smiled at her as she walked to the front of the room.
"Yes. I just wasn't sure if I wanted to do it." She replied.
"It will be great Brittany." He assured her. She nodded and took a deep breath as Brad started the music.
My beloved monster and me
We go everywhere together
Wearing a raincoat that has four sleeves
Gets us through all kinds of weather
She will always be the only thing
That comes between me and the awful sting
That comes from living in a world that's so damn mean
My beloved monster she's tough
If she wants she will disrobe you
But if you lay her down for a kiss
Her little heart it could explode
She will always be the only thing
That comes between me and the awful sting
That comes from living in a world that's so damn... mean
Lalalala lala lala
Lalalala lala
Mr. Schue led everyone in a round of applause.
"That was amazing Brittany. And you put so much feeling in it, you really should sing more." He enthused. Brittany nodded. We're done for today people, don't forget no class tomorrow and I'd like you guys to find a song with meaning to perform on Monday."
"Thanks for the encouragement Mr. Schue." Brittany said but she was watching Santana walk out. Quinn put a hand on her shoulder. "She'll come around B don't worry."
The next day at lunch Puck sat next to her. Santana smirked at him and jumped in surprise when Kurt sat next to him.
"What are you two doing?" She hissed. Puck and Kurt looked at each other.
"We're here to talk to you." Puck said
"Cause we're worried." Kurt finished. Santana snorted
"What is this Puck, homoexplosion?" She said gesturing to him and puck sitting together. Kurt laughed.
"Hardly he's not my type. We just have a lot in common." Puck nodded and smiled.
"And you wouldn't believe what being friends with a gay does for my social life. The MILFs think I'm all sensitive and caring. Easy way in their pants." He said getting a drifty look in his eyes. Santana smiled.
"Well if you're so busy being friends you don't to worry about me." She said
"We're not." Kurt said. "We're here for Brittany."
"What about her?" Santana asked trying to seem nonchalant.
"She's really broken up about you two. She hasn't been herself for weeks." Puck said seriously.
"She doesn't even dance anymore. And that's the only class she excels at." Kurt said. Santana shrugged.
"How is any of this my problem?" She asked callously.
"She loves you, you know. And you're just throwing it away." Puck said softly giving Santana a stern look.
"I don't think she loves me." Santana replied, looking down at her food which at this point she wasn't eating, she was just pushing it around with her fork. Kurt scoffed.
"You're so lucky Santana, someone actually cares about you. I'd kill to have someone fell half as much for me as Brittany does for you." Kurt replied getting angry. Santana stood up.
"I don't have time for this." She said leaving.
Santana is enjoying her Sunday, she's laying on her lawn getting some sun. It's surprisingly warm out today and she's taking advantage of the situation. She brought out a picnic blanket and her iPod. She had her eyes closed listening to Alicia Keys when she felt someone standing over her. She opened her eyes and smiled when she saw Brittany who then proceeded to sit next to her. Closing her eyes again she spoke.
"Hey."
"Hey." Brittany said back. "It's nice here right?" she questioned looking at Santana.
"Yeah it is nice." Santana answered enjoying the company. She reached over and held Brittany's hand. "I miss you." She said opening her eyes and looking in to Brittany's. Brittany smiled.
"I know, I think everyone knows." She mused. Santana sat up and gave her hug. She was smiling when she pulled back, then she noticed something.
"Brittany…" She started looking down at her own shirt and noticing a red stain on it. "Did you spill kool-aid on yourself again?" she continued joking before she looked up at Brittany, who bleeding profusely from her chest. "Brittany you're bleeding!" Santana said in a panic. Brittany looked at her sadly.
"I know." She said seriously. "You ever going give that back?" She asked gesturing towards Santana's hand. When Santana looked down she was holding a heart. Not a real heart more like a valentines day heart.
"What?" she asked.
That was when Santana woke up. It was six thirty on Monday morning and time to get ready for school. She dragged herself out of bed and to her bathroom where she stood looking in the mirror.
"I really am turning in to a sap, even my dreams are cheesy." She sighed to herself as she got ready to shower.
That afternoon at glee when Mr. Schue asked if anyone had come up with anything over the weekend, Santana raised her hand.
"Do you have something to say Santana?" He asked fearing the worst.
"I have a song." She said looking a Brittany.
"OK, wow." He said relieved she wasn't going to yell at him. "Go ahead." Santana nodded as she walked to the front of the room.
The sand loves when
The waves come
The sky can't wait
For the light of the sun
So how could you look me in my eyes
And not see what, what I feel inside
Tell me how could you doubt the fact that I,
I Love You
I Love You
Don't you ever think like that
Don't you ever never do that
There will never be two things that go together better
Than you and me
North needs south
East needs west
And no needs yes yes yes
Up needs down
Life needs death
And no needs yes yes yes
I need you (Na na na ...)
I need you .. x2
So how could you look me in my eyes
And not see what, what I feel inside
Tell me how could you doubt the fact that I,
I Love You... I Love You
Don't you ever think like that
Don't you ever never do that
There will never be two things that go together better
Than you and me
North needs south
East needs west
And no needs yes yes yes
Up needs south
Life needs death
And no needs yes yes yes
I need you (Na na na ...)
I need you (Everyday)
I need you (I need you) x3
Said I need you Baby (Ay Ay Ay)
Like the desert needs the rain (Like the desert needs the rain)
Like Joy needs pain
Ay Ay Ay
Santana finished and looked around nervous as the glee club clapped for her knowing that she basically had come out to them. But truthfully only Brittany mattered, she looked up at her and Brittany just shook her head and stormed out of the room. Santana followed her leaving everyone else feeling awkward.
"Guys when I was in glee we never had so much drama." Mr. Schue said looking at the rest of the glee kids.
"Brittany wait!" Santana yelled after a quickly retreating Brittany. Brittany stopped and turned to Santana with tears in her eyes.
"What was that?" She asked angrily. Santana started to answer but was cut off by Brittany. "It's been weeks, you ignore me at school and practice, don't take my calls. And I'm supposed to forgive you because a song?" Brittany was fuming at this point. "You told me you cared about me, you said you wouldn't be like everyone else you wouldn't use me, or be mean to me. You lied." She said crying. Santana at first was at a loss for words, the whole time she had been focusing on how much she had been hurting and not on Brittany's pain. Santana just hugged her, though Brittany fought her at first she eventually relaxed into the hug crying into Santana's shoulder.
"I'm sorry." Santana whispered. "I'm so sorry, there's nothing I can say that will be able to explain why I did it. I panicked, I never wanted my weakness to hurt you. I just fucked up so badly." She said softly "But I love you." Brittany pulled out of the hug and smiled at her.
"I love you too." She said. Santana beamed, she leaned in a kissed Brittany who gladly returned the kiss. "I'm still mad at you." She said smiling. Santana grabbed her hand and laced their fingers together.
"I know, after glee I want to start making it up to you."
"I think that's a good start" Brittany said as they walked in to glee hand in hand.