A Very moronic version of Mulan starring the G-boys
Wu-lan
by: The Optimistic God of Death (OGD)
I don't own, Gundam Wing, or the pilots...though I wish I did! I also don't own Mulan, I do however, own a pair of scissors, and my parents own a TV...so that counts...right? I also do own a copy of Mulan...so, yeah, I own Mulan...sorta. Well...point is, don't sue me, 'cause I aint got no money! On to the fic!
OGD: You WILL be in this fic, and you WILL have fun!!
Duo: *to Heero* What do ya think is eating her?
Heero: *shrugges shoulders*
OGD: Well, at least Wufei has happily agreed to play our star!!
Quatre: But, Wufei...?
Duo: Wasn't Mulan a chick?! Wufei is playing a chick! Hahahahaha!
OGD: Shut up NOW!! I still haven't thought of who to cast you as, I could go with the grandma, or maybe, the match maker?
Duo: *shutting up immediately* Yipes!
OGD: Heero, you will be Shan-yu.
Heero: *groans then sees look on OGD's face and forces a smile and nods his head in agreement.*
OGD: Good. . .Now. . .Duo. . .
Duo: *mumbling to self* Please not a fat old lady. Please not a fat old lady.
OGD: . . .I think, yes that will do nicely, yow. (and all Duo fans will now come after OGD and try to hurt her...please...don't! I'm a Duo fan too...it was just...funny...okay? *cowers in corner*)
Duo: Oh, great!! I said not a fat old LADY, so instead I get a fat old man!!
OGD: *gives Duo Heero's death glare* What did you say?
Duo: Me? Did I say something? No, I didn't say anything. *Gives funny smile and tilts head and scratches back of head while laughing* Hehe...
OGD, Heero, Trowa, ect.: *sweat drop*
Duo: *mumering to self* At least I'm not a girl, like Wu-man.
OGD: Zechs!
Zechs: Why me?
OGD: Because I say so! And you don't even know who you are yet, so shut up and let me finish!!
Zechs:. . . . . . . . . .
OGD: Good! Zechs will be the wonderful, handsome, perfect, *drooling* Li. *still drooling over thought as Zechs in that one song without shirt*
Zechs: Oh, Okay, that not bad. . .wait, who's Mulan?
Duo: It's. . .
Wufei: ME!!!!
Zechs: I take that back. . .*flipping through the script furiously* Good, we don't kiss.
OGD: Lets see, that leaves Quatre, and Trowa. . .and mmmm. . .TROWA!!
Trowa: *backing away as OGD comes closer*
OGD: Now were did I put my scissors?
Trowa: Gulp!
OGD: Damn! They aren't here!
Duo: *slides her scissors under the TV*
OGD: Oh, well! I guess Ling will just have to have long bangs now.
Quatre: Hey! What about me?
OGD: Oh, go be one of Shan Yuy's, I mean Shan Yu's hench men.
Quatre: But. . .but. . .I don't wanna be evil!! WWWWWHHHHHHHAAAAAAA!!!!
OGD: *death glare* What did you say? Heero, let me borrow your gun.
Quatre: Yipes! *jumpes behind Trowa* I love being evil! Mwhaha. . .hehe. . .
Heero: Nobody but me touches my gun!
OGD: Oh, yeah?!
Heero: Yeah.
OGD: Ugh, you aren't worth my time, ya limp noodle.
Heero: Say that again, chicken boy! *pulls gun on her*
Relena: We shouldn't be fighting at all!!
Quatre: Hey! That's my line!
Relena: Oh, yeah?!
Quatre: Yeah!
Relena: Ugh, you aren't worth my time, ya limp noodle.
Quatre: Say that again, Chicken, bo. . .um. . .girl!!
Dorothy: Stop! We shouldn't be fighting at all!!
Q,R: *sweat drop*
Q,R: Forget it.
Dorothy: Whoa! Wait a minute! What did I just say?! I love war! This writer has a serious problem!!
OGD: *stops fighting with Heero* What did you say?!
Dorothy: I love war.
OGD: Oh, that, I had to change that because this is children's show.
Cathy: Yet it can star a cross dresser?
OGD: Um, well, er, I. . .
Sally: He's only, I mean 'She's' only doing it for her father.
OGD: That didn't sound good.
Sally: Well, I was just quoting the movie. . .
Duo: Nasty, stupid writer. Hey! Wait a minute?! What did you say your name was?!
OGD: Who me? I'm The Optimistic God of Death.
Duo: But, But, I'm the God of death! This is plagiarism!
Wufei: Where?! Justice must be served!!
OGD: He stold my name! *points to Duo*
Wufei: *takes out sword and runs after Duo*
Duo: *running* AAAAGGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!! Damn her!!
OGD: Okay, now lets get back to the parts. Relena, your the mother. Catherine, your the match maker, and Sally, mmm. . .the. . .mmm, extra person, Noin, same for you. Lets see. . .Hirde you'll join Mulan as Chem Po.
Hirde: NOOOOOOOO!!!!! What did I do to deserve this?!
OGD: Be a girl with short hair.
Hirde: But Noin has short hair too!
OGD: Well, I like Noin better than you, besides she's not after Duo!!
Duo, Wufei: *stop fighting*
Duo: Who's after me?!
OGD: Well, for one, I am, and for two that dumb Hirde is.
Duo: Hirde?!
Hirde: *bluses*
Duo: Did I ever tell you...
Hirde: *looks up hopefully*
Duo: ...That I HATE YOUR GUTS!!!
Hirde: *in shock* But, then why were you nice to me?
Duo: A free place to stay, with cable, and all the Pocky I can eat!
Hirde: *mumbles something like* ofallthesupid. . .mmmm. . .
OGD: Anyway! Lets see, Dorothy, the emperor and Treiz. . .
Treiz: I will only play a sophisticated MAN and I still don't see why you chose Zechs over me for Li!
OGD: Okay! Lets see. . .you will be. . .the voice of the little lizard guy.
Treiz: DRAGON! DRAGON!!
OGD: Okay, whatever! That only leaves Une, you can be an extra, and you 5 demented scientists, you make up a way to bring Mushu to life! Howard, you can be the emperors council, because, I like your shirt and sunglasses. . .
Duo: This Sucks!!
OGD: *death glare*
Duo: I didn't say anything! Did I say anything?! No, I don't think I said a thing!
OGD: Okay, report tomorrow for your costume fitting.
All: *leave*
(on way out)
Wufei: I can't wait, I get to wear all those pretty dresses, and have that long hair!! (eyes twinkling)
Duo: *gives funny face toward Wufei*
Trowa: Oh, and Duo, thanks.
Duo: Huh?! Oh, yeah, well I just figured I would have been next! And no one, I mean NO ONE touches my hair!!
All except Duo: *sweat drop*
And so they all went home to think about tomorrow, and the dreaded things that come with it.
Notes:
So, this is just the beginning. . .this is what happens when a 8th grade Gundam Fan gets bored in study hall, and just watched Mulan last night!! Hmmm....I wrote this a long time ago...should I finish it...or not? Please Review!! Let me know!! Oh yeah...I wasn't to sure about the spellings of some of the characters from Mulan's names...so...oh well! ^_^ If you know them, and it's really buggin you about how they are spelled, let me know, okay? BTW: I would never cut Duo's braid...Trowa's bangs though....