Cut the Wire

S: Tony is left with a tough choice to make; one that could possibly end the world, if made wrong. And he can't help but recall when he had once spoken of just cutting the wire...

Tony Stark was no stranger to pain. He had found himself in so many bad situations before that he was amazed he still felt pain sometimes. It was a wonder he was not covered in scars to accompany every painful memory, to help him relive every single one whenever he looked at them. Too bad he probably will not be living for too much longer. It really sucked being a hero, sometimes. He would not have enough time to mentally relive each moment.

Like when Pepper was killed. He could not relive the pain he felt watching her get wheeled away on a gurney, sheet pulled over her face. There were no scars to remind him of the accident that took the one woman he loved from him. Only a huge hole left in his heart, and greatly depreciated mental health.

He had nothing to remind him of when Rhodes died, for the man was overseas at the time. All Tony had from then was the memory of his breakdown at the soldier's funeral and being dragged away by Dr. Banner. The other genius had stayed by his side for the whole month and a half it took Tony to 'get over it.' Bruce had watched him, forced him to eat and sleep, kept him from breaking down and taking his own life. The physicist was his rock, for a good little while. Until he left Tony, all by himself, with all of those sharp objects and tools…
He had a scar from which the Captain blew up on him shortly after; it was so stupid. Tony Stark was a genius CEO who could have anything he wanted, but he nearly threw it all away. And not only that, but the world needed him. The Avengers needed him, SHIELD needed him. He almost gave it all up. There was still that little white line along his neck, ever present when he looked in the mirror. It reminded him of how weak he was, how he almost let his weakness take over completely.

He froze midair, ignoring the firing going on around him and the calls from his friends on the comm. A thin white line, nearly too thin to be visible, wrapped half way around his neck. His hand, albeit gauntlet-covered, reached up to touch at the armor covering his neck, right above where he knew that scar was. That tiny white line that, now that he thought about it, resembled a wire.
"I'd just cut the wire."
"-Stark, answer me! What the Hell are you doing?" Steve's voice rings out above the rest, above the calls of worry and concern from the other Avengers he had come to care for and trust with his life. Steve had always been so noble, so ready to sacrifice everything for billions of people he would never meet. Just because he was Steven Grant Rogers, motherfucking Captain America, and that was just what he did. He had laid his life on the line countless times and saved Tony's ass quite a few times in battle and out of it. And Tony had said he would just cut the wire. True, that was before everything, but now, looking back, he saw how harsh his words had been.
It all makes sense to him, then, what must be done. Of course, he already knew, would have gone ahead and done it simply because it was what was expected, and no one was better suited than him. But now, now of all times, Tony Stark truly understands what he has to do; not because he has to maintain this hero façade of his, but because he wants to keep his friends, those few that still remained, alive. Tony Stark had to do what he had claimed he'd do so long ago, but in a completely different way than originally intended.
"Answer me, Tony!" Steve demands from below, his voice quivering a bit. Imperceptibly so, of course, but Tony senses it and it makes him smile, despite himself.
"I'm cutting the wire, Steve."
His suit begins to fly again, directly to the damned mother ship of the current invading species they were facing. Thor had already done a number on it, but as was to be expected, it was regenerating. Of course it is regenerating, Tony thinks dryly. The Avengers just can't catch a break. He dodges most of the oncoming fire, continuing on even when he does get hit and Jarvis prattles on about how this was very unwise and the suit was only at 2% power anyways.
It is a bit harder to ignore the cries of shock from his teammates; even Natasha, which would really be very touching if Tony was not about to kill himself. He pushes their voices aside to the best of his ability, but it really is not that easy. It's never that easy. Nothing involving goddamned Steve Rogers was ever easy for Tony.
"... Good bye, Mr. Stark." The voice is sullen, accepting the inevitable. But, damn it all, why could Steve not continue shouting at him like the rest? Why can he not just be a normal human being who was not acclimatized to dying friends and try to convince him there was another way?

"Shwarma after?" Tony asked, trying to play the situation off as he grew ever closer to his death.

"… Of course."

Tony was right there, the ship mere feet away. He clenches his eyes shut, straightening his body completely and holding one hand up, palm out. He fires straight and true, piercing the first layer of armor and rocketing through. "Order my usual for me?" He asked over the comm, barreling past alien warriors in hopes of reaching the core faster. Had the government launched another nuke, maybe this wouldn't be so bad. Maybe h could survive. Too bad they wised up.

"You got it, T-" Static cut Steve off, as weak as a loud roar from his favorite science bro. His only, really. God, he would miss them all, so much. Is that all you thought about when Death was a foot away? The people you'd leave? An inch, the memories of before? Memories of a sad, lonely childhood. Of a fifteen year old throwing MIT's first legitimate college party. The moment he heard his parents had died replayed in his mind. The time he met Rhodey, then Pepper. Afghanistan. Obadiah. Ivan Vanko. Hammer. New York. Loki. Pepper's death, Rhodey's funeral. His attempted suicide. Everything up until that point. Then, when it got back to him, face to face with a bright reactor core of some sorts (probably nuclear, but he had no time to contemplate the effects of radiation. Not that they mattered.), he sucked in one last breath.

And the world faded away into white.