"Haru.. honestly, you're going to catch a cold if you keep standing out here all the time." Makoto said as he walked across the sand, a few feet away from Haru, a distance at which Haru could hear him over the sounds of the waves in front of him. Haruka's back was to him, and, as far as he could tell, he was being ignored. He sighed lightly, taking a few steps more. "At least put on something more than a tank top if you're not going to go inside."
Haruka didn't answer him, didn't even show any signs that he had heard a thing Makoto had said to him. Usually, Makoto would walk right up next to him and ask him what's wrong, why he was standing out here on the shore like this, just staring at nothing, alone. But Haruka had been doing this for.. quite a few days, now. Everytime he walked by on his way home from school, he spotted him out there, just.. staring. At first, he'd ignored it. He'd shaken it off, gone home, tried to take his mind off it, distract himself. But now, finally, he couldn't ignore it anymore. This would be the seventh day he'd seen him out here.
"Haru." He said, after a moment of silence that was far too drawn out, but still, there was no answer. His brow furrowed slightly. "Haruka," He said, more firmly this time.
At this point, the best course of action would be to just go up to him, jolt him out of whatever daze he was in or ask him why he was so blatantly ignoring him. And Makoto would have done that-he would have handled this entire situation very much differently in the first place if it had been any different than he knew it was. But he couldn't be himself now.
The silence coming from Haruka was deafening, and the longer it went on the more it shook him. It wouldn't matter how long he stood there and said that name, no matter how hard he tried, Haruka wasn't going to look back at him, he wasn't going to say his name in return, he wasn't going to move. But..
"...Please, don't ignore me…" He said, his voice softer than it had been before, looking down at the ground now. In his line of vision, he could still see Haruka's bare feet, planted on the wet sand, the water coming forth and washing up to his ankles.
"Haru," He said, it was urgent but not firm, broken more than anything. He didn't expect to get an answer, but he couldn't seem to just walk away. He wasn't prepared to just leave, and he knew.. he knew he would be like this if he came out here. And he was regretting it, because he could feel the lump the size of his heart forming in his throat and he couldn't swallow it.
"Makoto."
He took in a quick breath when he heard Haruka's voice, looking up with his eyes widened a bit, an extremely hesitant kind of hopefulness on his face as he listened. He watched the back of Haruka's head, watched the subtle breeze move his hair and the unseasonal clothing he was wearing in the middle of Autumn.
It was a long moment before Haruka's head turned, and when it did Makoto went rigid, as if moving was going to cause both of them to disappear. He saw the side of Haruka's face, and then Haruka turned around completely, facing Makoto for the first time. The lump in his throat grew when he saw Haruka's face, his wide open eyes, the pale but lively tone of his skin. He tried his best to swallow it back down. He didn't speak, because Haru looked like he wanted to say something with his lips parted just slightly and a lost sort of look on his face, somehow so uncharacteristically placed.
"I'm…" Haruka's brow furrowed lightly in a confused sort of way, like he wasn't quite sure why he was saying what he was about to say, "..tired." He blinked once, and then looked to the side, away from Makoto.
Makoto breathed out and tried to make his voice sound as solid as he could as he smiled lightly and said, "You should go rest, then," simply. His voice didn't quiver or break, and that he was proud of, although the smile on his face was fabricated and he was sure Haru would see that the moment he looked back.
It was a few more moments of the wind before Haruka looked toward him again. His expression stayed the same, an odd sort of confusion. "And you?" He said, asking the question as if he were just asking about Makoto's plans for the weekend. Makoto's hand felt cold, and he was too afraid to move them.
He smiled again and said, "I'm going back to my house. Ren and Ran are waiting for me." His tone was casual, he was surprised he didn't falter. Haruka's eyes didn't move away form him, he didn't move from his spot, he just stood there in the cold fall weather with his feet in the freezing water. Makoto didn't want to have this conversation. He wanted to run and hide, he wanted to go home and wake up tomorrow like none of this had ever happened, that the past year had been a dream, and that his life was like it always had been: with Haru walking home alongside him, inviting him in for dinner with his family, playing with Ren and Ran and trying to get Haru out of the bath in order to get to school on time.
Frantic in the passenger seat of his mother's car, Makoto's eyes were wide open; he looked terrified, more frightened than he'd ever been. He was looking out the window, his hands gripping his knees tightly and trying to steady his breathing. It was taking too long. Too long. This car was too slow. He couldn't see the paleness of his mother's face anymore. He had stopped himself from looking at her.
His head snapped forward when he saw the lights in the distance, the ambulance truck, the police cars, the people standing around. His hand was on the door handle, and as soon as the car slowed to a stop on the side of the closed off road, he opened the door and hopped down out of the car, going over to the other side and helping his mother out of the car, taking her hand and leading her forward, all the while his eyes shifting around frantically.
A police woman approached them, a look on her face that made Makoto's skin crawl. He knew what it meant when someone looked on him with that kind of pity.
The only thing he heard was "truck" and "accident" and "he's not going to make it."
"His body is crushed in a way that if we try to move him, he'll…" the woman trailed off. "...but right now, he's still awake. He wants to talk to you.."
The next thing Makoto knew he was leaving his mother's side as a man with a blanket was draping it around her shoulders and leading her away with her face in her hands. Everything seemed to slow down as he saw the sight only a few feet away.
Haruka was hunched over the hood of a truck, his arms outstretched on it, barely upright. He was up against a tree and his shirt was.. stained… his legs were-Makoto tried not to look down. He tried to steady his breathing, not yet realizing the tears streaming down his face. Haruka looked up, his face… this couldn't be happening…
"Makoto-"
"Oh god," Makoto cut him off without meaning to, his hands coming up to cover his mouth, trembling severely. "Nn.." His eyes squeezed shut. He felt like he was going to be sick. But he opened his eyes again, bringing his hands down, walking as close as he could.
"Mako-hn.." Haru flinched, head jerking downwards, a horrible strangled noise coming from him, and when he looked up Makoto saw blood trickling from the corner over his mouth.
"T-This is-why isn't anyone-" His heart started pounding, and he looked up and around, frantic, about to shout for someone before Haruka's voice jerked his eyes back in his direction,
"Makoto, don't." He said, his voice strained. His expression was pained and he was breathing hard, his hands stiff on the hood of the vehicle. He was sweating and he had scratches littering his skin, he was bruised and bleeding and everyone was just standing around, doing nothing-why wasn't anyone doing anything?
"What?" Makoto said, completely breathless, terrified and anxious and confused, and it all showed on his face. Someone should be here. That ambulance should be coming over here, taking Haru into their truck and getting him somewhere where he could be helped, there was a stretcher nearby, why wasn't anyone doing anything-
"They can't do anything. If they move me-"
"Haru," He said, a sob choking his voice, letting out a breath and putting his hand on the hood, close to Haru's.
"If they move me, I'm going to die." He said, firm and straight to the point, looking up at Makoto from under his brow slightly, his hair falling in his face. He looked like a wreck, and his own eyes were watering.
Makoto started shaking his head, "No, no, no. It's okay. You're okay. You'll be fine, we'll-they'll-"
"Makoto. I can't stay like this forever." He said.
Makoto's breath hitched and he felt his chest tighten, hand curling into a tight fist on the hood of the car. "Please," he said, voice cracked and strained. He didn't remember ever crying this hard in front of someone and feeling so disconnected from it.
"Makoto," Haruka said, his voice hoarse. Makoto opened his eyes from having squeezed them shut and looked at him. Haruka's hand was shaking and held towards him. Makoto reached forward and took it, holding it tight and watching Haruka with what was the most despaired look probably of his entire life. He thought he heard familiar voices somewhere behind him, but he couldn't tear himself out of this moment. "Make sure they're okay." He said, and when he closed his eyes the tears that had been building spilled down his face, leaving streaks. He breathed in and out deeply.
Makoto looked back, and familiar faces were getting closer, their eyes wide and their faces pale. He looked back down to Haruka. His eyes were still closed.
"Haru-Haruka!" He said, his voice cracking. Haruka opened his eyes just as Rei, Rin, Nagisa and Gou ran up to them in their pajamas and sandals, stricken looks on their faces. He looked up at all of them, and Makoto could only hold tighter to his hand as he watched him look around at his friends surrounding him.
Makoto could hear their voices loud and clearly. Rin was calling out, calling for help, while a man approached him, explaining the situation. He heard Rin screaming at the man and Gou crying, Nagisa was staring on seemingly in shock while Rei was trying to talk to Haruka, was trying to talk to Makoto but his words went right over his head. Haruka's grasp on Makoto's hand was weak, and it was getting weaker.
The next few moments were a blur. He heard shouting and felt hands on his shoulders, he heard unfamiliar voices telling him what to do, urging him away while all he could do was stare at Haruka as he lie on the hood of the car, limp, bloody, pale.
Was this real?
"You won't come with me?" He heard Haruka's voice and he flinched, wondering how long he had spent standing there and staring at him thinking before Haruka actually spoke again. He hadn't expected him to say something like that, and his eyes burned slightly, threatening to reveal to Haruka all the things he didn't want him to see.
"No," He said on an exhale, trying again to keep his voice from breaking, "I need to get home. So.. so do you, Haru." He said, forcing his smile this time, his eyes not completely open, having failed a bit at keeping his voice completely stable as he gripped the strap of his bag harder.
Haruka seemed to examine him. Makoto could feel his gaze and that, just by itself, was making this harder and more real than he ever imagined it would be. Haruka could easily see through Makoto, but he wasn't acknowledging it.
"Will you meet me there, then?" He said, his eyes rising back to Makoto's, expectant.
That's what broke him. Makoto took in a shaky breath and nodded, his eyes watering. "Yeah," He said, half breathless, "Yeah. I'll meet you there." He finished, his smile faltering but he managed to keep it up a bit longer.
"...Okay." Haruka said, only a small pause before he answered. Haruka didn't say another word before turning around. He looked forward for a moment, and then, just like that, he stepped forward once.
And he disappeared.