I Hate You Jin Kazama!

Author's Note/Intro: This is going to a very random story based on a simple plot of, yes, revenge! But it's misadventures with Miguel and Alisa ranging from drinking to karaoke bars et all. Maybe everyone will be or seem OOC, but I wanted to portray Alisa as this eccentric, perky, curious and childlike personality and Miguel as...well Miguel. Angry, quick to piss off, Miguel. Angry sexy, angry Miguel. And of course, Tekken favourites will appear along the way to trouble him. I have been struggling with writing for a little while due to shyness and writers Berlin wall block, so this may lag badly. But I hope you enjoy anyway! And shower Miguel with love. Eh I'll do that x

Miguel Caballero Rojo had seemingly prowled half the world in search of the broody, poster boy of the Mishima Zaibastu, defacing Jin related propaganda and burning endless supplies of merchandise almost religiously, paying tribute to his intense loathing and rage. But much to his seething fury, Jin Kazama (a.k.a. brooding catalogue model) was no where to be found and carved more furiously than a Christmas turkey. Make no mistake, one of these days Miguel was going to turn him into bone dust and hope the dogs will snort it up.

The image pleased him immensely. "Heh."

Much to the bewilderment of the Spaniard, Jin had gone so power hungry that he had actually shut down every single major fast food joint and oh-so-originally renamed it "McJins/Burger Jin/JFC". Although hot-headed Miguel felt Jin-mania consume his murderous whim, he wanted to save it for the big day itself.

He found himself petulantly glaring at behind the counter inside McJins, expecting one of his gormless employees to unfurl in melodramatic wails of "please don't hurt meeeee! I'll tell you where that bitch Kazama is!" Dismay set in when a pair of cheerless eyes meet his, her black and red uniform perfectly emulating Jin's usual colour scheme. No doubt he's got these fucking idiots dressing like him too, Miguel's mind drones on.

The employee huffs audibly as if entering her own personal inferno in delivering the same old tired opening line, "Welcome to McJins. You have your own King of Iron Fist Tournament experience dining out here. And all for low, low prices." Explicit exasperation seals the blonde in a sharp turn of her head, narrowly missing Miguel's frown.

"Where is Jin Kazama?" he demands.

"You want the Jin Kazama special?" she scoffs, "Everyone wants the Kazama special! Never the Heihachi chicken special. Or the Kazuya wedges. Drip and rip Kazuya shaped potato-"

"Senorita, I won't ask again." An irked Miguel leans in closer, "Where is Jin Kazama?!"

The girl arches an eyebrow, "You want the action figure that comes with the meal don't you?"

Miguel bangs his head against the counter, "Stupid bitch."

"So rude." The young lady folds her arms, "Don't you have respect for the past glory that is Lili Rochefort dishing you up swill and morsels?"

Silence.

Carelessly, Miguel shrugs. "Uh who? And who cares?"

"You will care." Lili smiles sinisterly, her narrowed catlike.

"Ah." Miguel points at her accusingly, "I get it. You all know where he is!"

"What's your business with Kazama?" Lili shudders at the mention of his name, getting herself into a fluster. "Ooo that man!" One employee in strained politeness reminds her of the golden McJin rules, particularly the one where you do not use Jin's name in vain for he is the new Burger King, the new Ronald McDonald (minus all the connotations and make up) and the new Colonel of Chicken, all hail Jin Kazama!

Miguel harshly laughs, "The new Hitler has got you all under his cajones eh? Well..."

The Spaniard brashly stalks off and lies down in the middle of the vacant dining tables, "...this is only stage one. Unless you tell me where the fuck he is, it'll get worse from here."

The employees look twitchy, bar Lili, all shifting strategic signals with their body language making Miguel grin in sardonic amusement from ear to ear. As much as he wanted to soil his hands with the blood of his enemy, he can have some fun along the way too making his loyalists and fans very, very uncomfortable with his reckless antics.

Fun for Miguel, hell for the rest.

"We want you to leave this minute!" one employee jabs faithfully and zealously in mid air, "No one soils the name of our Jin Kazama!"

Handfuls of fangirls in the diner suddenly swoon, convulsing passionately in semi consciousness at the mere mention of their hunky idol. Sure he was destroying half the world with war, fast food joints and over-hyped cashing in on his brand, but according to the squeals of the devoted, he was hot stuff. One hovering girl dropped her fully posable and attire detachable Jin action figure square on Miguel's face. As if a bull to red rag, Miguel promptly ripped of its head.

A tsunami of gasps erupted throughout.

"Lili!" screeches one Jin loyalist, "You were in that Tekken tournament last time, take him out with the trash!"

"Yeah but she lost all her daddy's money too!" sniggered one unkindly before the others followed suit, the formerly elegant heiress furrowing her brow in peevish vigour. Lili reluctantly approaches the rebellious Spaniard, surprising him with a sharp kick to his side as he spirals off the table.

"Ay, a feisty chica eh?" he smirks, holding the area where he was kicked.

"My burger making services and false smiles..." Lili dramatically tilts her head upright, "...are for my father!"

"Ay..." Miguel sneers, "You won't get rid of me so easily."

Soon enough, he was back outside with a sandwich board he hastily made with the help of local hobos that read in capitals: MCJINS GIVES YOU HERPES. The rebellion against the diner ended in mayhem, as Lili's attempts failed to remove him ending up with the Tekken Burger Force swiftly throwing him across straight into the front of a nearby skip.

"Please don't tell my father!" Lili cries out quickly before being promptly escorted back to monotony.

"¡Cabron!"

After what seemed a lifetime, Miguel steels himself and manoeuvres himself to his knees.

A perky voice rings out. "Sir? Are you alright?"

"Ugh..." he barely mumbles a coherent answer.

"Ugh..." the voice repeats to herself quietly before abruptly becoming more audible, "Interjection, used as an exclamation expressing disgust, aversion, horror or the like. Also a noun, the sound of a cough, grunt, or the like!"

A bemused Miguel tilts his head to see a pair of inquisitive green eyes blare at him, blinking Bambi like and she subtly smiles. "Did you just...recite a dictionary definition from the top of your...?"

She nodded enthused. "Yes sir. I was just confirming your response mechanism."

"Huh?"

"You seem to expressing disgust, aversion or horror, sir."

"Well what do you expect after being hurled by a couple of..." Miguel intentional raises his voice in the direction of McJins, "bastardos?"

"You seem to be responding very angrily!"

Silence. The girl peers at him as though fascinated, with childlike curiosity. Taking in all his features with a meek flutter of her lashes, she spots a dash of red upon his cheek.

"You're staring at me." Miguel doubtfully glances back.

"Your mechanism is red!"

"What?"

"Blood!"

"Ah." A dismissive swat in mid air, "De nada. Nothing compared to what I know. And nothing compared to what Jin Kazama will get."

"Jin Kazama?"

Miguel scoffs. "I'm surprised you're not swooning and fainting over this tragic case."

"Jin Kazama, new CEO of the Mishima Zaibastu. Now cult and mass phenomenon, well known for his chiselled and boyish good looks and for perfecting the trademark brooding, angst like pose. The Adonis of moody men."

"Ay." Miguel slaps his forehead, "Photographic memory and no mistake. Must you make me remember all his...his....fucking deeds?!"

"Fucking," the pink haired lady innocently inhales, "a curse word that-"

"Ey, ey, ey." Miguel launches upright and clamps a gloved palm over her lips, "I didn't ask for a dictionary! Hell I didn't even ask for you to be here, watching over me like some walking candy floss. That is candy floss on your head right?"

A iron grip clamps around his wrist, promptly removing his silencing.

"What the-?"

"I am Alisa Boskonovitch," her sugary smile contrasts her tough handling, "And you are...?"

Bedazzled Miguel doesn't reckon on who he's dealing with here. "Formal, aren't you?"

"We all have names to barcode us and tell us apart yes?"

The Spaniard exhales.

"Miguel Caballero Rojo."

"Nice to meet you!" she sweetly enthuses, "Wow, I do not know what came over me. I'm sorry if I hurt you."

Miguel takes back control of his hand, suspiciously eyeing the young girl. However as surreal as this was, Miguel knew he had better things to do then deal with the walking candy floss head.

To his annoyance, she follows like a stray dog.

"What are you doing?"

"Going with you."

"Hahaha." Miguel brays in disbelieving laughter, "I think not."

Alisa innocently blinks, "Why not?"

"Because."

"Because why?"

"Ay mierda."

Alisa's eyes twinkle, "Shifting from English mode to Spanish mode. 10, 9, 8..."

Miguel at once backs away, but cannot take his eyes off the doll like Alisa who suddenly rambles to him in a fully sugary and sweet Spanishathon.

Wide eyed and visibly angry, he retorts: "Won't you just fuck off?"

"Modo de español a modo de Inglés...diez, neuve, ocho..."

Miguel is speechless.

"Mister Rojo?"

Shaking off his disbelief now. "Look I don't need you getting in my way."

"Why not?"

"No offence carino, but you're already pissing me off."

"You want to find this Jin Kazama..." Alisa approaches gently, "I may be able to help track him down."

"Oh? You loyal to him?"

"I am lost." Alisa sheepishly shuffles, "My father always told me not to wander off too far. But I wished to see what it is like outside."

"Heh. Your papa overprotective or a complete bastard like mine?"

"My father..." Alisa looks straight at Miguel, "...created me."

"Uh...of course he did. He and your mother got it on!"

"No no no. Not via reproduction."

"You're a sperm donor's child?"

"Not via sperm." Alisa struggled to explain, "He actually created me."

Several nearby Tekken Burger Force members were all jigging triumphantly at yet another good job done, as Alisa suddenly removed her own head and as if about to blow a perfect game, she viciously hurled it in their direction, sending the team flying in all different directions. One standing member belly laughed at one member's undergarments stuck on an adjacent lamppost.

Miguel was amused but at once amazed at the robot's head regenerating.

"Joder..."

"Yes sir." Alisa bows cheerfully.

"Wow." Miguel blinks unsteadily. "Just..."

"Your response is one of amazement but one of shock and horror too."

"Stop doing that!"

Alisa obeys at once, "I apologize Mister Rojo."

"Look, if you really can track down Jin Kazama, you being all..." Miguel points in surprised stupor, "...maybe you can float around. But you got to promise not to say one word, or get in my way! Understand chica?"

Alisa nods, "Not one single syllable. Not one verb. Not one exclamation. No-"

"¡Vale!" Miguel silences her sharply with a point. "You get the idea. Now shut up and let's get going."

"O-" Alisa covers her mouth with a delicate gloved hand.

So it begins. The insipid overuse of the name Jin Kazama, one angry matador and a sugary sweet Russian robot.

Outro: Fun to write that was. Whether it was good or not, eeeeeh never mind I tried eh? I never claimed to be the greatest like Paul Phoenix continuously reminded us all in Tekken 5. "Number 1 this and number that". But anyway, what awaits sexy Miguel? Will he get Jin Kazama's blood soon enough or will Alisa annoy the hell out of him some more? Yes! Tune in next time, drop a line or some food or drink. I'm thirsty x