It's true…you really do see your life flash before your eyes before you die.
I knew that I had no chance when Molly Weasley turned her wand on me. At first, I laughed, like I always do. I've always found it funny, how some people would do anything for their families. The Potter boy's Mudblood mummy died for him, even darling Cissy would disobey the Dark Lord for her precious little Draco. I sidestepped her first curses easily, sending back my own, worse ones. I thought it funny, I thought I could escape with my life and tell my lord that I had rid the world of another Weasley. I thought it would aid me in gaining favor with the Dark Lord…
It stopped being so funny when she began fighting to kill instead of to just…disable. It became that much more important to me, to come back to Lord Voldemort alive, to hand him Molly Weasley's body. If I could not hand him Potter, I would hand him as many dead disgraces to the pureblood community as I could… I would hand him Mudblood after Mudblood… I was sure I would kill that pureblood-turned-filthy-Mudblood…so sure…and suddenly it was funny again. I laughed, I laughed with the confidence that I had won…and I lost.
It was painful. I know that my eyes bulged, but by then I saw nothing but the bright memories dancing in front of me. Getting on the Hogwarts Express the first time—sorted into Slytherin, Mum was so proud—my seven years at Hogwarts—meeting him for the first time, and knowing from the start I would do anything for him—bringing him dear little Regulus, he rewarded me for that—him ascending so rapidly to total absolute power, with me in his innermost circle by then—marrying Rodolphus, one of the biggest mistakes I ever made—that awful night when Lord Voldemort was knocked back down by the Potter boy—spending all those years in Azkaban, knowing that one day, my Dark Lord would return, and that I would return to him—breaking out, and being the first one to leave, the first one to find him—that feeling that I had missed so much, the feeling of the Dark Mark searing into my skin, calling me—being by his side once more, hoping and striving fiercely to become the one he held closest, trusted the most—convincing myself that if anyone survived this battle, it would be me, and I would be the one to stand by his side and we would take over the world together…!
And now. I feel my life slipping away…and suddenly it just doesn't hurt anymore. It's replaced by a new pain, one infinitely worse. It feels like something just broke inside, somewhere inside. I feel like crying, but no tears came.
He would never love me. I know he had at least seven Horcruxes out there, and now, I realize that there is not enough human left in him to love anyone, even me… He was my life, the only person I ever loved, he was my obsession, I lived only for him...!
All I wanted…
Was for him…
To love me.