" Spencer just stop! Snooping around is not going to get you anywhere! The only place it is going to get you is away from me!" I snapped at the girl standing before me.
"Toby, please-" Spencer begged, her voice shaking, she was about to cry.
"No spencer. Just no." I said as I began to walk away, tonight was supposed to be special but no, something just had to ruin it…
I quickly jump in my car, slam the door, and drive away.
That was then, this is now.
Now I am pacing around my loft, I shouldn't have done that, I'm so stupid. I let my anger get to me again and I left… again.
I'm thinking now, thinking of how amazing Spencer is, thinking of how I do not deserve this perfect girl, thinking of how much I have hurt her. I look around my loft, I look around and see how much of my life revolves around her. Over to the right of me on the counter is her scarf that she left here last week, to the left of me above the fireplace is about five picture frames holding pictures of us. Spencer is my happiness and she does not deserve to be treated like this.
I do not know what I should do, should I let everything calm down or should I go confront her?
It has been about five minutes and now I know what I need to do, I need to go see her, I need to go hold her. I can remember the worst time of my life, the time she thought I was dead, the time she thought I was 'A', the time she was in Radley. If I had not been so stupid, if I had stayed long enough to open my door, to tell her there was more to the story, none of that would have happened. I know I cannot change the past, but I know I can stop anything like that from happening again, so I grab my keys and I run out of the door.
I'm thinking again, tonight was supposed to be perfect, I had planned everything out. Tonight we were going to meet up at a special restaurant outside of town, have a lovely dinner, and then go home and stay in for the rest of the night. I think of how everything had gone wrong, I think of how she mentioned looking through some of Mona's old things and how I snapped. I remember how I yelled at her for snooping around, and now I know just how cruel that was. I know that what she is doing is trying to end a seemingly endless war, she is trying to prevent further heartbreak, and she is trying to ensure her friends' safety. This poor girl has been through hell and back, so who am I to yell at her for trying to end her suffering?
I am currently at a red light, tears streaming down my face, I am about two miles away from Spencer's house. I am shaking now, I have to fix this, I need to, if I don't my whole world will go to shit… again.
As the night turns green I turn on to the long road that leads to Spencer's house, I hope she is not home alone although I bet she will be, she always has to suffer and cry alone, that is not right.
Finally, I have arrived at Spencer's house, and just as I thought… she is home alone. There is only one light on and it is in the living room so I know that is where she must be. I jump out of my car and grab the extra key that she gave me a while ago. I quietly slip in through the front door, if she is asleep I do not want to wake her. I walk down the hall and see her laying in front of the fireplace, I am behind her so I assume that she is just staring at it. She is curled up there and once I get closer I can see that she is shaking, I know that she is crying. I walk up beside her and kneel down, stroking her hair softly as I do so.
"Hey." I saw quietly and gently, not wanting to upset her anymore.
"I- I thought you were mad at me." She says weakly, trying to pull herself together, she quickly looks away from me, I know that anytime she cries in front of anyone she feels vulnerable.
" Baby I'm sorry. I have no right to be mad at you, you are just trying to fix things." I tell her, I try rubbing her back but she pulls away quickly, she has her walls up right now and I can tell she is not planning on letting them down anytime soon.
"No," she says, her voice is hoarse, "you have every right to be mad at me, I'm sorry that I am such a horrible girlfriend… or just umm- person." What she just said broke my heart, not only does she think she is a horrible person but she also thinks that we are broken up.
"Spencer, baby, never say you are a horrible person ever again because you are most certainly not. You are one of the most amazing people I have ever met, you took me from the darkness I was living in and showed me the world in an entire different light! And girlfriend Spencer, that is exactly what you are right now and someday you will be my wife, I promise you that I will never leave you." I say all of this quickly, I cannot just let her slip away, I will not let that happen, she needs to know that she is loved.
I get no response from her, instead she looks at me with tears in her eyes, sniffles, and quickly crawls over to me throwing herself into my arms.
Once she is in my arms I wrap them around her tightly, as I do that is when her tears truly being to fall.
"Toby I-I need you in my life. I love you so much and I hate that I always do something to ruin us. I'm so so s-sorry." Spencer sobs, pushing her face deeper down into my chest.
"Oh baby, I love you too. You never do anything to ruin us okay? If anything it would be me to ruin something." I tell her as I slowly rub circles on the small of her back.
She is too broken to talk so instead she just lays in my arms, trying to calm down. I feel so much pain due to what I am putting her through.
We lay in front of the fireplace for about thirty minutes. Now I feel Spencer's breathing slow to a steady pattern, I decided now would be a perfect time to take her upstairs.
I gently lift her into my arms, trying not to disturb her. Spencer's immediate response to being in a new position is wrapping her arms around my neck and slowly laying her head upon my chest.
I quickly walk up the stairs and enter her room. I gently lay her on her bed and tuck her in but as soon as I do her body goes rigid and she looks at me with fear in her eyes.
"P-please don't go." She begs, tears enter her eyes once more.
"That is the last thing I want to do honey." I assure her as I walk over to the other side of the bed and lay down.
As soon as I am comfortable, Spencer rolls over and curls up next to me, she lays her head on my chest and closes her eyes, looking content.
"I love you so much, and I need you, thank you for staying." Spencer whispers as she drifts off to sleep.
" I love you too and I need you just as much. I will always stay." I whisper back as I wrap my arms around her and close my eyes.
The end.
AN:
Hello everyone, it's me again! So today I saw some pretty sad spoby stills and I came up with this idea to accompany them! I really hope this is what happens in the show although I doubt it will c:
Well that is all for now, don't forget to leave a review!
Xoxo
Mady
