LIGHT IS A FEATHER
By Keith Novak
Authors Notes: this adventure is set between the TV stories FURY FROM THE DEEP and THE WHEEL IN SPACE
Amidst the trumpeting of the elephants, a sound very similar seem to go unnoticed
by the entrapped pachyderms. The TARDIS materialized and out stepped The Doctor and traveling companion Jamie. The Doctor looked a trampish stooge, that is to say one could see elements of Charlie Chaplin and Moe Howard in his appearance. He had recently been enjoying the benefits of a second wind and was traveling with a Scottish teen that had been rescued from the battle Culloden not too long ago.
"Those are big ones, Doctor."
"Do you know, Jamie … one day that phrase of yours is going to get us both
into a whole lot of unnecessary trouble." replied The Doctor.
"Oh, aye" grinned Jamie "So, Doctor, where have you landed us this time?"
"Well Jamie, lets see" licking a finger and then holding it straight above his head
The Doctor said to himself, out loud. "Earth normal…breathable atmosphere…"
"Zzz", sounded out the young Scotsman.
"Hush Jamie" muttered The Doctor angrily as if swatting a fly away.
"Ooo", continued his companion.
"Jamie please, I am trying to concentrate you know" begged The Doctor
"Doctor" asked Jamie innocently, "What's a Z…O…O … when it's at home then?"
inquired Jamie, sounding out each letter individually.
"What was that… be still Jamie…now, where was I … Oh yes… Jamie?" asked The
Doctor softly.
"Yes"
"Do you know I think we landed in a Zoo" said The Doctor brightly.
"Aye. That's what I been on about," Jamie said crossly while pointing to a sign across a walkway that read Zoo.
"Oh, I see…well…a Zoo is a place where people put animals in cages to view them in their natural environments," replied The Doctor.
"…" said Jamie.
Whether Jamie was struck speechless by The Doctors explanation or the sight of a man-
sized feathered something running passed him is a mystery best left for another time as
a crowd of official looking people also came rushing by.
"You. Tramp. Which way did he go?" puffed out a rather heavy set middle aged man.
Jamie turned to The Doctor, who was looking behind him. "I think he means you Doctor."
"Really, do you think so? Tramp indeed! Well my horizontally challenged friend, I think I just saw him go across that road", replied The Doctor pointing southward.
"Why would a chicken cross a road?" thought Jamie to himself.
"He must be heading for the Maintaince Transmat Facility", reasoned the
sweaty man in the tight fitting overalls. "Get after him."
As the group of overalls left, The Doctor reached down and picked up a black and yellow stripped feather. "I wonder where I've seen this before," he said to himself,
to himself this time.
"It would seem the yokes on me," muttered The Doctor while playing with a sandwich he had bought hours ago at The Zoo's Café.
"What are you on about" inquired Jamie.
"Don't you see Jamie," answered The Doctor, "it's in the egg, or rather what will be in his egg that those men were after."
'Don't be daft, Doctor, everybody knows a Cock can not be doing the laying of the egg" reasoned Jamie.
"That may be true on Earth Jamie, but it isn't where that Chicaloo comes from."
"Aye, well…he did look a strange wee beastie."
"Exactly. I knew I'd recognize that feather. What we saw was a Chicaloo from the planet Chicanos," cried out The Doctor.
"Oh…aye."
"Oh yes indeed… you see on his home planet of Chicanos, unlike that of your Earth,
it's the male of the species that reproduce."
"That's as may be Doctor, but it doesn't explain why all those men were chasing after him," inquired Jamie.
"I was just coming to that. The atmosphere on Chicanos has become so volatile over the centuries that just for their race to be able to reproduce; the male of the species must carry the fertilized egg. These eggs have become enhanced with some wonderful additional properties over the years" lectured the Doctor," when the egg has reached full term it vibrates so fast, faster then the speed of light in fact, that it is able to pass through the fathers membrane and emerge balanced on his stomach. It's a bit like that superhero The Flash."
"Oh aye, whose that then.' asked Jamie innocently
"Never mind Jamie, were talking about basic survival 101 here, Darwin would be so proud."
"So those men were chasing him down for his egg," thought out Jamie.
"Well done Jamie. Top of the class," replied the Doctor brightly, "they must be trying to examine the eggs contents for their transmutation proprieties. '
The Maintaince Transmat Facility proved easily enough to find as the Chicaloo had
left enough feathers in his wake for the Doctor to seriously give some thought to
constructing a native Indian head band. Once inside it became a simple matter of just
following the increasing sound of squawking and pleas of help. Eventually the pair of
time travelers entered a large hanger were at the far end they sighted the Chicaloo
being manhandled on to a surgical gurney by several of the overall dressed men. Other
technical looking men wearing white lab coats peered over the clip boards they were
scratching in.
"Jamie look," said The Doctor breathlessly, "Can you see how much that poor Chicaloo is vibrating? It's no wonder those men are having such a hard time holding him down.
He must be about to give birth. If I could just increase his natural vibrations with my sonic screwdriver he might be able to escape before those men can have their way."
Jamie eyed the chaos of trembling limbs and floating feathers before asking "You
mean those are good vibrations?"
"Hush Jamie, I must concentrate if I'm to find the correct frequency in time," implored The Doctor over the whine of the sonic device.
As Jamie turned towards the direction of the noise all he could see was a cyclone of feathers and men clutching at empty air or each other. He rather suddenly heard a cry of "My Baby" and what sounded like a bowling ball being thrown down a lane.
The Doctor warned 'look out' and suddenly he was knocked off both feet.
"I just have one question," Jamie asked The Doctor some seconds later as the other was helping him up, "which came at me first, the chicken or the egg?"