Hey guys! This is my first ff on here. I've been a lurker for quite some time now and for some odd reason i decided to make and account a year back but never really got to upload any stories until now. Lol. I do hope you guys enjoy this story I written.
Please don't forget to send a review! I would love to hear what you guys have to say about this Story. :)
"Have you ever thought of what I felt James?!" Kendall asked fighting of the tears threatening to fall from his already clouded eyes.
"Have you ever thought that I may not want this anymore?!" Kendall continued as he held his gaze on James. Kendall eyed James distastefully as James stood in front of him with his gaze fixed on the floor.
"Do you have any idea how much it hurts when I see you with her?" Kendall shouted, his hands shaking in anger.
"We talked about this Kendall, Ashley is nothing to me except a-" James was stopped by a snort from Kendall who was now enraged.
"Except a what James? A what?" Kendall asked as he crossed his arms.
"She's just a FRIEND Kendall! For fuck's sake! You have to believe me- you'll always be the only one," James said pleading with his eyes.
Kendall let his arms fall to his sides in defeat as James brought him to an embrace. He could never say no to James, he was so in love with him that sometimes, it was too much.
"Sorry," Kendall murmured as he buried his face on James' chest.
"It's alright boo- I love you," James whispered as he held Kendall tighter.
Life has had its ups and downs. Right now i think i'm on the up side- living in L.A., performing with my best friends on stage, having mom and katie around and having James Diamond as a boyfriend.
Hi there, my name's Kendall Knight and here's my story.
Big time rush! Big time rush! Big time rush! I heard the crowd scream when we left the stage. It was another amazing show and as we settled in the pickup van I couldn't help but smile at the fact that we were indeed getting famous.
My trail of thought was interrupted by an arm that wrapped around me.
"What's the smile for? Found a girlfriend out there?" James joked though I felt the fit of jealousy that wrapped around the word 'girlfriend.'
"What if I said yes?" I smirked at him. It amused me that although I was obviously joking, James would still go all territorial on me.
"Who? Tell me. I'll make her regret ever looking at you," James whispered in my ear as Logan and Carlos started fighting about corndogs and cupcakes AGAIN.
Oh, Logan and Carlos are my two best friends aside from James and all four of us together form the band called "Big Time Rush."
"Who is it Ken-doll? Who's the lucky girl?" James whispered again as he placed a hand on my thigh.
"I was just joking James," I finally reply breaking my gaze from Logan and Carlos.
"Prove it," James teased as he got closer to my face. I smiled and gave him a quick kiss which I felt like Logan saw- actually every time James and I would kiss and Logan's in proximity he'd instantly notice and he'll be like "the paparazzi might see!" or "wait 'till we get home," and when we do get home he'd just grunt or murmur "get a room." I honestly have no idea what was up with Logan these days, I tried reaching out to him but he'd completely shut me out. I tried asking Carlos about it but because he's a bucket load of sunshine, love and optimism he was surprised that Logan and I were arguing which wasn't true at all.
I decided not to tell Carlos things like that anymore because first, he's oblivious to it and second, he tends to try and fix things himself like tying Logan and me together or locking us up in the Palm Woods rooftop which infuriated James quite a bit.
I found it odd that everything I did which involved touching James in a certain way bothered Logan so much. Heck, even at hockey practice when James accidentally shoved me to the wall- I could have sworn Logan had a fit when he excused himself dragging a confused Carlos with him.
I slowly turned my gaze on Logan who was back to arguing with Carlos about only heaven knows what. Honestly, since we got to L.A. he's started keeping things from me which wasn't normal. I mean, back in Minnesota we were buds and James was often the one pulling antics with Carlos- well, back then James and I weren't together yet so maybe that's the reason why he's keeping his distance from me now or so i assumed.
"Babe, you alright?" James asked as I blinked averting my gaze from Logan.
"Yeah- I'm fine," I assured him as he placed his arm around me and kissed me on the cheek before he plugged on his earphones and closed his eyes shut.
It had been a long day with a lot of autograph signings, appearances and a concert in Tampa but it was really fun and humbling for me being able to give back to our fans.
I checked my watch and it was already midnight as we continued our travel to the next location of our Big Time Tour. I squinted at the people who sat in front of me. Gustavo was sitting beside the driver in case he needed directions but Gustavo was useless when it came to that, I knew because I've experienced it firsthand. It was always Kelly pulling the strings on everything and I have to applaud at how good of an assistant she is because the only thing Gustavo could do well was write songs- that was pretty much it. I often wondered how Kelly had been working with Gustavo for years but I don't think I'll ever learn the answer to that even if I tried.
I saw Carlos snuggle beside Logan who shifted but didn't move away from Carlos as he dropped his helmet to the floor.
I smiled at the scene I was witnessing thinking of how a much of a good couple Carlos and Logan would make but right now I think they were still sort of homophobic since James and I confessed that we were dating, especially Logan who had some sort of a meltdown. When we brought him to 2J, I was surprised when Carlos told me that he supported me and James all the way, it made me glad that even though Carlos was the most child-like amongst us, he has this deeper and wiser side which got us away from trouble more than once in the past- surprising but true.
I looked outside the window and admired the view of the night sky as James snuggled against me.
"Kendall..." he murmured as he put his other arm across my chest pulling me to an embrace.
My beanie slipped off my head when James pulled me closer- I was pretty sure he was asleep because he wouldn't be able to pull something off like this so easily without even a hint of a grin. I rested my head on James' chest and listened to his steady heartbeat as I waited for sleep to slowly consume me.
"WAKE UP DOGS!" Gustavo shouted as he pressed an air horn a few times which got me up almost instantly. It was already morning as I squinted, waiting for my eyes to adjust to the light of the day.
I saw that I was still securely wrapped by James' arms as he continued to snooze away which annoyed Gustavo mainly because it caused a lot of delays for pretty much everything- not only was James a heavy sleeper but was also really slow at getting ready for shows. Gustavo often blamed the cuda and would always threaten to take them away but James would merely shrug and tell Gustavo in quote "How can I woo fan girls and sell your records if I don't stay pretty?" which would always Gustavo up about the cuda.
Gustavo again tries to wake James up with the air horn but for some odd reason he still wouldn't budge. I could've sworn Gustavo was going to explode if Kelly didn't jump in and calm him down.
"Kendall, could you please wake James up?" Kelly asked me with a smile as she brought Gustavo in the hotel lobby throwing us keys to our hotel rooms.
I was amused by Gustavo and Kelly's retreating forms and so were Logan and Carlos who were awake but were still as deprived of sleep as I was.
"You two get to your room- waking up James could take a while," I mused as I looked at their weary faces.
"Are you sure? We could wait for you guys," Logan insisted not making any move to leave.
Carlos groaned and pulled on Logan's arm and practically dragged the other man in the hotel with both their bags slung on his back.
"Carlos! No! Let go!" Logan struggled from Carlos' tight grasp but he wasn't his regular bubbly self so I could only watch their slowly retreating forms mimicking Gustavo and Kelly though it wasn't as funny.
From afar, I could still see Logan trying to break free from Carlos' tight grip but he was too strong. What really surprised me about it was that Carlos forgot to bring his helmet along with him which Logan grabbed before Carlos started dragging him to the hotel. He wasn't wearing his big toothy grin either which was really rare not only to the public eye but to us as well- if Carlos was like this, it often meant that he was in the most bitterest of moods and anyone who would cross his path would suffer.
We experienced Carlos' fury first hand when we were kids. It was one hot summer day and Carlos went to our headquarters- tree house carrying news about school. We were in the middle of playing Super Mario when Carlos climbed in and was telling us something which was really important but we shoved him off and continued playing. Knowing Carlos, he wouldn't give up so he kept blocking the TV screen which annoyed all three of us so out of frustration; Logan chucked Carlos' helmet out the window and told him to fuck off. That really took all three of us off guard because Logan wasn't the kind of person to tell someone to just fuck off and throw a person's most prized possession out the window. I remember Carlos' rampage back then and how big Logan's black eye was while all James and I could do was watch.
Since then, Carlos has always had this love-hate thing going on with Logan which is why back then, James agreed to bunk with Carlos while I bunk with Logan to keep the peace I mean, we wouldn't want that happening again but man, did times sure change after this band thing started.
I chuckled at reminiscing our childhood and how crazy it all was back then. I continued staring at the hotel doors long after Logan and Carlos disappeared through them. I avert my gaze to the sleeping man shifting beside me and I bit my lip at how utterly beautiful he is.
James always did look good- from his silky brown locks to his luscious golden skin and oh, don't even get me started on how soft and sweet his lips are crushed to mine- My thoughts were interrupted by James placing his arms tighter around my waist and sighed as he rested his head on my lap.
I held a hand to my mouth because I felt that I could've been drooling and I hated the fact that we might be stuck here all day if I continued staring at James because if there was a possibility for a human being to sleep forever, James probably would.
I took one last look at James' sleeping form before I broke free from his arms and began shaking his shoulders to wake him up.
"James? Wake up," I said lazily as I plugged off his earphones which probably pissed him off a lot because he practically yanked them from me and stuffed it inside his pockets.
"Let's go dude or Gustavo might throw a fit again," I mused as I opened the van door and stepped outside.
We rode a rental van because the tour bus was having problems but it will be back here later tonight to bring us back to L.A. according to Gustavo but I don't really mind riding in a van, it actually makes me miss the times when my mom would bring us to the Hockey state tournaments we competed in when we were kids.
"Man, I miss Hockey," I smiled as I opened the back of the van to get my duffle bag along with James' which was a lot heavier than mine because of all the cuda products I assumed.
"What did you say?" James yawned as he slammed the passenger door and approached me.
"I said I missed Hockey," I replied throwing him his duffle bag which he lazily slung on one arm.
"Same here," he yawned again as he stared at his reflection on the glass.
I closed the back of the van and left the keys to the driver who already had a cup of coffee in hand. Did it really take that long to wake James up? I asked myself as we walked to the hotel.
When we got in the hotel James slung his arm around me which I instantly shoved off. I was fully aware that fans and media would possibly be checked in to this hotel as well and i wouldn't want them having any ideas about us being together or anything like that. I loved James, but we both agreed to keep it a secret and it will stay that way.
"James!" I hissed as we stepped in one of the elevators.
"What?" he asked amused.
"Someone might see us!" I whispered as the only other passenger got off the third floor.
"Yeah so?" James asked loudly with arms crossed obviously mocking me.
"Paparazzi might see us?" I said having no other idea besides that.
"What? Seriously Kendall, youbeginning to sound like Logan," he snorted as the elevators opened to the 12th floor where were welcomed by Carlos and Logan fighting over something and practically jumping on us when we got off the elevator.
"Woah, what's happening here?" I asked as I took a step back missing Carlos and Logan by mere inches and were now staring at each other grudgingly.
"Yeah, you almost messed up my hair!" James complained which I couldn't help but smile to.
"LOGAN- won't give my HELMET back!" a not-so-Carlos replied quite infuriated.
"Well you should've thought about that when you PRACTICALLY DRAGGED ME UP HERE WHEN I DIDN'T WANT TO!" Logan spat back ready to attack.
"STOP!" I shouted grabbing Logan by his shirt and James doing the same with Carlos.
"James," I asked looking at him.
"What? Oh no, don't tell me-" James replied letting go of Carlos who stood beside him with arms crossed.
"We don't have a choice- these two won't stop," I sighed as I let go of Logan who stood behind me.
"Babe, at least just for tonight?" I asked as I placed a hand on his shoulder obviously disappointed but what else could we do? We couldn't let Carlos and Logan wreck their hotel room and kill each other could we?
"Alright," James sighed as he rubbed the nape of his back.
"Here, you two take our room- I'll stay with Logan," I handed James the keys to our room and forced a small smile.
"I'll get Carlos' stuff later," James said as he readjusted his duffle bag.
"Alright then- see you tom-" I smiled as I turned around only to be spun back around again.
"What?" I smiled as James crashed his lips to mine. The kiss was short and quite chaste, I could only sigh when he pulled back and smiled his big perfect smile. I thought I could melt at that moment when Logan started tugging on the back of my shirt.
I turned around and was met with Carlos' duffle bag flying on my face.
"There, you don't have to come get Carlos' bag anymore James," Logan said indifferently as he waited behind us with arms crossed eyeing Carlos who was doing the same with his tongue sticking out in mockery.
"Well, see you tomorrow then?" James asked still smiling at me.
"Yeah, see you tomorrow," I said smiling back at him as I stared at his beautiful hazel eyes. I think it was more than a few seconds that we stared at each other like that but it seemed so right and I couldn't-
"James, if you don't get in here in the next 10 seconds your sleeping out here," Carlos said icily which broke my gaze from James.
"We better get to our rooms," I murmured as I turned around to see Logan waiting by the open door of our hotel room. I was about to enter when-
"Kendall!" James shouted.
"What?" I turned around to see him peering through the half-open door.
"I love you," he smiled. I felt my cheeks grow red because of the fact that people might've heard him or maybe it was because he proudly announced his love for me in a hallway that was being monitored by cameras- whichever I didn't know-
"I love you too," I smiled back before I closed the door.
At that moment, all i knew was that I loved James Diamond and things are going to stay that way... or so i hoped.