I Didn't Need To See That

Mercedes Jones would like to say that she has seen plenty of people kiss in front of her in her high school years. Try having a locker that is apparently a prime make-out spot and not being confronted by some jock sticking his tongue down a size-two teenage dream every morning.

Glee club is hardly an escape from the PDA either. What with Tina and Mike being consistently all over each other, Finn and Rachel kissing every three seconds and even Mr. Schue constantly mooning over Ms. Pilsbury, there's no respite.

Walking out of school doesn't improve anything. Couples are always kissing by the gates like they won't see each other for years instead of texting and calling all evening and meeting again in less than twenty-four hours. Watching Tina get her mack on when it's time to hit the mall is the worst part of her day.

And let's not even get into the many, many, many games of Spin the Bottle she's played. She'd rather not revisit those memories either, thank you very much.

But she can usually rely on Kurt to be available and not attached to someone's mouth. Not that she ever thinks about Kurt being attached to someone's mouth. Hell, two years ago she wanted him attached to her mouth. But she's not stupid and Kurt's so ridiculously in love with Blaine at the moment, it's hard to imagine him kissing anyone.

Especially not Blaine. Nope, they may be boyfriends but they don't ever kiss. Thinking about her two best gays getting their mack on is like thinking about anyone over the age of twenty-five getting all hot and bothered. It just makes her switch her mind to Puck and Rachel making out or something equally disturbing to wash away the thoughts.

So, when Tina goes off with Mike, Mercedes decides to drop in on Kurt and see if he's up for a little retail therapy. Not that she needs a man, but seeing everyone else around her stupidly in love can get annoying and depressing. Sometimes.

She lets herself into the Hummel-Hudson household, waving to Carole making coffee in the kitchen and popping her head in to say hi to Burt, watching some sports game or other. When he gave her a hello back and pointed upstairs, she grinned at him and ran lightly up the stairs, ready to surprise Kurt.

It's hardly a rare occurrence to find Kurt's bedroom door shut, but what's rare is to hear a lot of thudding inside the room. Wondering if her boy was raving about to Lady Gaga or something, she opens the door slightly and oh holy sweet hell!

Damn, that was not something she needed to see. Yeah, remember how she said she hated thinking about her two best gays getting their mack on? That was effing nothing on actually seeing it.

Or hearing it. Because she really did not to hear the noises they were making and oh hell was that a shirt on the floor?

So Mercedes Jones did the only thing a true diva could do when faced with that sort of thing.

Mercedes Jones ran away, and thought desperately of suitably pleasant things to rid her mind of that image.

Oh hell, it wasn't working. She needed mind bleach and needed it badly. Now.

I did not write Mercedes' thoughts when she caught Kurt and Blaine making out as homophobic. I wrote this after seeing my friend and her boyfriend kiss after school, and the way Mercedes thinks is how I feel. I know my friends have boyfriends, but I don't particularly want to think about or see them kissing. I think I'd react similarly if caught in a situation like Mercedes was ;) There's just something weird about seeing people you've known since you were all five kissing...

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