It Hurts
by
Ghost of Eternity
Rating: M or NC-17
Summary: It hurt, Christina realized as she watched Ryan and Calleigh kiss. Originally written for csifemmeslash on lj.
Notes: I decided I'd try my hand at writing out the unspoken love and depressed feeling bit. Yup, it's angst time! I do like Calleigh/Ryan too, though, so it's kind of a way to put both pairings in one fic. This has my original character, Christina "Chris" Myers in it. Think of this as a kind of prequel to "Falling".
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"So what do you mean, it's hopeless?"
Eric smirked at Christina, chuckling. "Myers, have you seen the way the two of them look at each other? Besides, Calleigh doesn't even swing that way. I should know."
The brunette scowled at Eric. "And how, pray tell, would you know?"
Eric walked out of the break room, calling behind him, "just you wait, Myers. You'll see what I mean."
Christina 'humph-ed' and went back to fixing her lunch. Stupid Eric. I already know that Wolfe likes her, ok? He doesn't have to rub it in. And what does he mean; he should know she doesn't swing that way? I mean, sure that thing with that Tim guy, but… Jerk. As if she would lower her standards to hop into bed with him.
"Hey, don't hurt the ramen noodles. What did they ever do to you?"
Christina turned around, her train of thought interrupted, and as usual her heart did a flip as the most gorgeous CSI in the world smiled at her. Calleigh Dusquene had her blonde hair down today, and she was wearing a simple white t-shirt and black pants that accented her mouth-wateringly long legs. Not only that, said t-shirt showed off her elegant and perfect collarbone and it took all of Christina's self-control not to drool.
"Well, considering they were the sustenance that kept me alive through college, I suppose the only thing they could have done would be to kill my taste buds." She replied, trying not to stare as Calleigh walked over to the fridge and leaned over to take out her own lunch.
"Is that all in your pantry right now?" the blonde asked as she waited for her turn with the microwave.
Christina nodded. "I can cook, you know, but I just don't have time anymore. What with work and all, I'm surprised I have time to even zap ramen in the microwave. There you go Cal." Her eyes widened as she saw what she had in the Tupperware. "Is that linguini?"
"Yeah. I cook when I'm stressed. Guess it's a thing we southern girls do." Calleigh responded. "It's also kind of a thing for us to make more than we need. So if you ever want a more sustaining meal than ramen noodles…"
The brunette grinned, "I'll be sure to take you up on that offer. Lord knows I could use a good meal every now and then."
Calleigh turned and smiled. Suddenly Christina realized they were alone in the room. No Eric, no Ryan… just her and Calleigh. She knew she could take opportunity to say everything she'd wanted to say for a long time. She stepped forward and swallowed. "Calleigh, there's something I want to—"
"Hey Cal!" Ryan stuck his head in the room. "Get your lunch and come with me. There's something I wanted to show you."
"Ok." The blonde grabbed her Tupperware and headed out the door. She stuck her head back in and grinned apologetically at her friend. "We'll talk later, 'kay?"
Christina nodded and watched as she walked off with Ryan. When she was out of sight, the brunette sat down at the table and began to pound her head against it.
"Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid…"
-----
Christina let out a long suffering groan and slumped against her locker. Fucking Eric. Why can't he keep his damn nose out of anyone's business?
When Ryan had offered Calleigh a ride home in front of everyone, they had all been surprised when she had said yes, even Horatio. Eric had looked in her direction and given her a look saying "see? I told you so" and the brunette had suppress the urge she had to walk over and punch that grin off his face.
Now she was in the locker room, and instead of beating Eric's brains in she was attempting to try and remain calm. As she slipped her laptop into her bag, she suddenly heard a noise. After a second, she heard it again.
The brunette's interest piqued, she slowly crept around arrow of lockers and peeked around them. What she saw nearly made her pass out in shock.
Ryan and Calleigh were in the middle of an embrace; unaware that Christina was but five feet from where they were standing.
She should be screaming. Why wasn't she screaming? She almost swore that she was.
It hurt, Christina realized as she watched Ryan and Calleigh kiss. Good god, it hurt so badly.
She turned and slipped out the door, trying to hide her tears as her heart broke into a million pieces.
-----
Later that night, Christina sat on her couch, holding a decanter of brandy. The alcohol loosened her thoughts and relaxed her body.
I knew she wasn't into me. I should have guessed she'd choose Wolfe. But then, why'd she lead me on like that? Those smiles, those touches… oh fuck, Eric was right. Nothing stays secret in this lab; everyone will know by tomorrow. God, why me?
Her hand wandered down and slipped under the waistband of her slacks and underwear. As she gently stroked herself, she closed her eyes and imagined that instead of her hand…
Calleigh's hands tenderly caressed Christina's thighs, grinning her trademark smile as the brunette let out a soft moan. "You like that baby?"
"Uh-huh. I like." She whispered. She gasped sharply as Calleigh's hands wandered lower, and then stopped.
"What do you want? You have to tell me." Calleigh's blonde hair fell over hers and Christina's shoulders, lightly tickling the brunette's skin as she whispered in her ear. "Tell me."
"Jesus Cal…" the brunette whimpered, "do you know what you're doing to me?"
"I have an idea." Her soft voice was low and throaty, the twang in it even more obvious than usual. "But you still haven't let me know what you want… you have to tell me Chris." Her fingers traced circles over Christina's stomach, smiling at the heavy panting from the brunette.
"I want… I want…"
"Yes…?
"I want you to…"
"That's it lover. Say it..."
"I want you to touch me."
Calleigh smiled and moved her hand to cup Christina's sex. She slipped two fingers in and gently began to thrust them in and out in rhythm with Christina's gasps. "You're so wet for me baby." She murmured.
"Only you Calleigh. Only you could do this to me." Christina whispered quietly.
As Christina brought herself closer, she could almost see the blonde above her, hair shining in the lamplight like a halo; her green eyes staring into hers. As she came, she cried Calleigh's name into the lonely night.
When she opened her eyes, her hand was jammed down the front of her slacks…
And she was alone…
…alone with her tears.
-----
"Hey Chris… Chris… you in there…? HEY MYERS!"
Christina sat up so quickly that she spilled her coffee. "Ah crud." She cursed as she tried to wipe it up so it wouldn't mess with her laptop. After managing to do so, she looked up at the person who interrupted her. "Oh hey Natalia. What can I do for you?"
"Well, Eric mentioned you seemed kinda out of it. I wanted to see if you were ok." the other girl said as she sat down at the table beside her.
"Eric's concerned about me? Natalia, I think your boyfriend might be ill. You should ask Alexx to check on him cuz yesterday—"
"Whoa, whoa, calm down. He's really not that bad of a person once you get to know him." Natalia said. "He just messes with you because you react to it." Normally Natalia wouldn't be doing this for him, but Eric looked so sweet and concerned about Christina that she had agreed to talk to her. "You want to tell me what's going on?"
Christina sighed and swirled what was left of her coffee in her cup, staring into the depths of it. "I'm surprised the whole lab doesn't know by now."
Natalia had to chuckle at that. It was true; it was hard to keep a secret in the Miami-Dade crime lab. Heck, it had only been two days until people were asking about her and Eric. "Chris, everyone knows about your torch for Calleigh… well except for Calleigh. But what is really bothering you?"
Well, no one knows, huh? I doubt that. Christina wasn't an investigative cop for nothing. She'd find out what Natalia didn't know soon enough. "What do you think? It's Ryan and Calleigh…"
Natalia unsuspectingly caught her bait. "I know! He's such a jerk isn't he? I mean, putting a move on Calleigh like that in the middle of the locker room? Valera says she slapped him!"
…
"WHAT?!"
-----
There was a knock at Calleigh Duquesne's office door, and she looked up, hoping that it wasn't a certain CSI named Ryan Wolfe. To her relief (and somewhat disappointment) it was Christina. "Hey Chris."
"Hey Cal. Can I come in?"
She nodded and watched as Christina came and sat in front of her desk. "What can I do for you?"
"Uh, well… you can squelch a rumor for me, maybe. I uh, heard about you and Ryan." Christina said her voice quiet and nervous.
Damn, and here Calleigh was thinking she wouldn't have to worry hearing about that. "Nothing stays secret in this lab, does it?" she grumbled, rubbing her temple; frustrated. "Yes, it's true he kissed me. Yes, it's true I slapped him. No, we haven't been seeing each other in secret. And no, I haven't been… what was it Valera said? Oh yes, 'madly in love with him since he got here'. Does that cover it?"
The brunette had to smile at the blonde's tone. She must have been answering questions like that all day. And her heart felt one-hundred percent light upon hearing the last part. "You sure about that last one? Cause I think half the girls in Trace and DNA could kiss you right now."
Both laughed. They looked up at each other, and Christina's breath caught at Calleigh's rare smile, the one she reserved for the people closest to her. Suddenly at a loss for words; she stared as she tried to focus her thoughts.
"Chris? Something else on your mind?" Calleigh asked as she tried to figure out her friend's expression. She'd found herself doing that more often these days, ever since she'd realized she had feelings for Christina.
"Uh nothing. I'll talk to you later, ok?"
And before Calleigh could say anything more, the brunette was up and out the door. After a moment, she peeked her head back in and smiled.
"I'll go and pick on Ryan for ya. Hell, I'm sure I can even get Eric in the act; you know he loves to torture him." She wiggled her eyebrows, and Calleigh laughed.
"Don't scare the poor boy, all right? But get him good for me." She called as Christina walked down the corridor. When she had gone, Calleigh finally let out the breath she had been holding and tried to calm her pounding heart as she thought of the brunette's wickedly cute smile.
Suddenly, there was a howl of "hey!" and she looked to see Eric and Christina chasing after Ryan…
…with water guns.
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Done. :: Faints:: 1/9/2007 12:17 AM