A/N: Okay so this only the second story I've ever written so with that in mind read kindly. Please leave reviews and constructive criticism! I don't own glee but please enjoy!
Tick….tick….tick….the clock on the wall counts the seconds as they pass by. I begin to count with the clock, 10 seconds…11…12…13…14. Each second is another second of agony, of lonliness and tears. I clutch her pillow tighter and I inhale her scent. It's been 1 month 5 days and 33 seconds since my life has been taken from me, since my love has been savagely ripped from the world and I have been left to suffocate in it. On May 3 at five o'clock at night Quinn Fabray was driving to the grocery store and it was at that time that a man by the name of Luke Brill ran a red light and ran her car off a bridge. Everyone tried to tell me that she didn't feel it, but the water in her lungs and the hasty note addressed to me scribbled on the back of a receipt proved otherwise. She was everything to me and one man ripped her away by simply ignoring traffic laws. A sob catches in my throat as I think of the last conversation we had…of the joy we felt.
"You really want to do this?"
"Of course, I love you Rachel and I want us to be a family"
"So we'll look into it tomorrow then?"
"I'm not going to change my mind if that's what you're asking"
"It's just that with the Beth thing I wasn't sure-"
"Rachel, Beth will always have a place in my heart. The thing is, I want to have a baby with you, the woman I married and the woman I'll love forever."
"I want a family with you too, more than anything, It's just- I understand if you want to wait"
"No. No more waiting, I have dealt with the Beth issue and I want to move on." She walks up to me and puts her hand on my stomach and kisses my neck softly "besides, I can't think of anything sexier than to see you pregnant with my child." She caresses my belly "to see your skin stretched in a protective cocoon around my child, our child"
"When should we…" I trail off unsure of how to continue.
"We'll go to the sperm bank tomorrow"
"I love you"
"I love you too Rachel" a soft peck falls on my lips "Now, I need to go to the market before it closes to get that wine you like so much"
"Quinn that's not necess-"
"Of course it is, we're celebrating. We're going to be parents!"
"I'm not pregnant yet"
"yet" It's with this word that she walks to the door and puts on her coat before turning to me again.
"I'll be back soon"
Those words ring in my head and haunt my every moment. That's how it should've been, she should've been right back.
The kiss we shared is one that I'll remember forever. It was full of love and happiness and-and promise, the promise of a future, of a family, of a little girl or boy with a diva attitude and hazel eyes.
Now that she's gone all I feel is emptiness and I'm suffocating in the pity that surrounds me. The 'I'm sorry for your loss' and the 'it'll get better' or my personal favorite 'Quinn would want you to move on'.
Tears soak into the pillow and my chest becomes tighter my whole world is collapsing in has been collapsing in on itself for the past month and nothing can stop it.
The whole time I lay there the damn clock is mocking me, mocking the moments without her tick…tick…tick…
It's in this silence that I've realized how much my world revolved around Quinn Fabray and how much I need her.
I can't breathe anymore, I can't be in this world anymore, not without her and it's with these thoughts with the clock in the background that I walk to the kitchen…the pressure increases…tick….tick…tick… and grab a knife….tick…tick…boom…my breathing stops and with it my pain.
Relief.
A/N: okay so be honest in your reviews and tell me what you think. Thanks for reading!