Hey there! This was just an idea I got when I heard about some of the spoilers for the upcoming episode, 'Lost Girl' and I just had to write it down. Hopw you like it! :)
Alas, I do not own OUAT.
"You don't talk to me anymore."
Emma turned her gaze to the campfire. "That's funny; seems like we're always talking."
Snow pushed back some errant strands of hair off her face, trying not to sound pushy. "Well we speak at one another but we don't really talk."
Her daughter sighed, picking up a twig from the earth and tossing it into the flames. "I'm not in the mood for cryptic conversations."
"You called me 'mom' Emma," Snow blurted, closing her eyes immediately at her own impulsivity.
Though obviously taken aback at the comment, she didn't drag her eyes away from the licking flames. "I know," was all she offered.
"And I was hoping that that would mean you would call m-"
The blonde snapped her head up, her expression unreadable. "Look, it was a really tense moment and I thought we were going to die. I just…I just said it. It doesn't change anything."
"It doesn't change anything? Emma, it changes everything! Do you know how long I've wanted to hear you call me that?" A sad smile broke out on her face but disappeared in an instant when she saw how pained etched into her daughter's expression.
"About as long as I've wanted to say it," she retorted with venom. "Growing up, all I wanted was my parents. That's it. I didn't care about anything else. And yeah I found you guys but that doesn't mean it's easy for me and I'm sick of trying to figure out what my place is in this family."
Snow leaned forward, a film of tears covering her eyes. "Your place? Emma, honey, you're our daughter."
She set her jaw. "I know that; but all I'm saying is that it's hard for me to picture myself as your daughter or you guys as my parents. It's not exactly what I'd call a conventional family."
The brunette could feel her heart break a little every time Emma had to stop herself from displaying any more emotion. "I realize that and it kills me every time I think about how difficult this must be for you."
"That's just it; I don't think you realize how hard this is for me. You never will."
"Okay," Snow started, reining in her tears, "then tell me. Help me understand. I want to be able to be there for you but I need you to meet me halfway."
Emma deliberated for a moment. Nothing but the burning embers could be heard.
"It's not…it's not just about you being the same age as me. Yeah that's a pretty big deal and nothing anybody should have to deal with, but it's so much more than that. I've spent my whole life alone. Abandoned. Praying that my parents would swoop in and save the day. But you never came for me. Curse or no curse, you don't just magically get over something like that. All those years of pain don't just disappear because you're in my life now. It's always going to hurt and I'm always going to remember my childhood in that way."
No amount of tensing was going to hold back the tears for her anymore and Snow's heart truly broke in half as she watched her daughter drag a hand across her face to wipe away her own pain. "Emma," she breathed, her chin quivering, "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry, sweetheart."
The blonde's brow furrowed, her shoulders heaving as she tried to collect herself. "I know that. I do. But no amount of apologising is going to erase all of that. There's no number you can reach where it will make everything okay. It's never going to be okay. 'I'm sorry' doesn't take away all those times I cried myself to sleep. 'I'm sorry' doesn't make up for all the birthdays you missed. 'I'm sorry' doesn't wipe away the years I was used as a meal ticket in foster homes. 'I'm sorry' means nothing anymore. They're just empty words. And I wish you'd stop saying it."
Snow's face crumpled, her hands shaking at the words that lingered in the wind. "I don't know what else to say," she whispered.
Emma rose to her feet. "There's nothing you can say. At least nothing I can think of right now." She stared at her bed across the site, her foot digging into the soil. "I think I'm gonna go to bed."
And she stalked off without so much as a look in the brunette's direction.
Fixing her blurred gaze on the dwindling fire, Snow choked out a sob reminiscent of the one she released all those years ago when Charming took baby Emma to the wardrobe. The heartache was just as fresh.
"I'm so so sorry, Emma," she wept quietly. "I love you."
A few meters away, Emma's façade dismantled at the words she had so desperately wanted to hear ever since she was a child.
I'd love to hear what you all thought of it! Hope you liked what you read :)