Title: Really, It's Just a Symbol of Friendship

Author: codenamezinc

Rating: T for mild Chinese cursing and some violence

Setting: Pre-series Zoe/Wash

A/N: I wrote this three years ago. It just popped into my head one day, fully formed, and after some small edits came out just the way I wanted it. If writing was always that easy, my life would be a dream...

Zoë didn't like hugs. Didn't see the need to get that close to another body. She'd been close to plenty of bodies in the war. Most of them were dead. Those that weren't were generally only close for warmth. Or something else. Like that liu kou shui de biaozi he houzi de ben erzi they had tried to make a business deal with. Thought it was a sign of camaraderie or some other go se to try to hug her. Zoë didn't complain 'cause they needed the coin. 'Course he had to try and touch her ass. 'Course that meant Zoë had to go and kick him in the manly bits. And of course that meant the deal was off. If Mal was capable of bawling his eyes out he would done it then and there when they left that place. Two days of that bug-infested, rotting pit in the ground so they could get enough coin to buy some food, fuel and maybe a really important engine part and she had just sent it all to pieces. Mal's only reaction had been to ask if she'd finished the moonshine yet. She hadn't. Neither had he. And it was a damned good thing too. Probably the only nourishment she'd get for weeks. 'Course all sources pointed to the pilot hiding the moonshine up on the bridge. Probably drank it all too. Hun dan.

She dragged herself up the steps to the bridge and began opening up storage lockers. The pilot gave her a funny look but continued to play with those gorram dinos.

"Job not work out?"

Zoë nodded.

"Good thing I like protein."

"Protein's gone too."

She had hoped she'd never be as hungry again as she was in the war. Horrible gut-wrenching hungry that ate your insides and made dirt and rocks look like a five course home-cooked meal. In the months before Serenity Valley, rumors had floated about, crazy rumors, about a unit that went insane from hunger, began eating their own, starting with the officers 'cause they couldn't get food. Rumors said that after that, friends killed friends first. Supposedly some triplets had enlisted with their older brother. The threesome went mad and tried to eat each other first. They all wound up dead and their older brother had himself a grand old feast. Some said the brother knew they were gonna kill each other and he didn't stop it 'cause he wanted the food. The purplebellies heard about this unit, heard how they were protecting an important ridge near Serenity Valley and they waited until the unit had finished eating every last soldier and then came in with their rollers and razed over the bones. The only survivor was said to have been stark raving mad. When the—

"Zoë?"

Zoë jumped. Wash put his hand on her shoulder.

"What happened?"

"Nothin'." The word came out hoarse and choked.

"You're cryin'."

"No." Zoë shook her head and was surprised at all the tears that fell off her face.

"I won't tell. Promise. You can kill me if I do. I'll even let you make it painful and bloody. My ghost won't hold it against you."

"OK."

"Wanna hug?"

"No." Came out a lot more forceful than she intended. Didn't matter though, 'cause Wash wasn't one for listening to what she wanted.

Next thing she knew, she was leaning against him and he had his arms around her back. One of these days flyboy was gonna pull another stunt like this and wind up with a swift kick to the pigu. Zoë tried to pull away.

"Zoë, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a hug. In some cultures it is a revered symbol of friendship between the hugger and the huggee."

"Don't need no gorram hug." Zoë made no effort to move. Mostly 'cause she realized that he felt nice. Comfy, a little bit squishy, but not in a bad way. And he was playing with her hair. No one had done that before. Felt nice. And he was rubbing her back. Pilot sure had guts.

"Zoë! You find the moonshine yet?"

Mal's voice made her jump. Wash nearly fell backwards. Some day he'd have to learn a little bit of coordination. He took his hand out of her hair and placed a kiss on her forehead before letting her go. It was a strange kiss. Completely platonic and sweet. And suddenly Zoë realized that Wash's feelings for her went a lot deeper than a pilot's for the first mate's. Wash handed her the moonshine and she felt her insides get all tangled up with guilt 'cause she knew that her feelings for him didn't go beyond thinking that he was a pilot and a damn good one at that.

Translations:

liu kou shui de biaozi he houzi de ben erzi- Stupid son of a drooling whore and a monkey

go se- crap

hun dan- bastard

gorram- goddamn

pigu- bottom, butt