I was drunk… I was only drunk. That kiss meant nothing. I was only severely under the influence when I did that to him, Casey McDonald.

I kept telling myself that as I sat on the bathroom floor, fiddling with my hands out of nervousness. I had just kissed the bane of my existence, the one person I hated the most… And I liked it.

Why did I he have to throw that stupid party in the first place, damn it! I should have stopped it right when I saw the first group of people entering my living room. But no, I was just so tired of being the goody two shoes who could never have any fun. I wanted to prove him wrong. I wanted to show him that I can be cool if I wanted to be. I completely lost it last night…

I was on top of the kitchen table, swaying my hips from side to side in a way that made me feel completely alive and wild. Random people clapped their hands and cheered me on while they gathered around me. I was intoxicated. Not just from the beers I had drank… But also from the music that was blasting throughout the entire house. It was some type of dance music, you know, the kind where it makes you want to get up off of your feet and move.

Suddenly a very familiar face appeared into the crowd, his expression showing that he was both mesmerized and at the same time astonished by my behavior. I looked at the young man and smiled sloppily. He furrowed his eyebrows at me and dropped the drink he holding.

"Heeey, Derek!" I exclaimed while trying to keep my balance.

Derek looked in all different kinds of directions before he walked over to the table, pushing people out of his way as he did so.

"Casey! What in the world are you doing!" He shouted while staring up at me.

I twirled around and threw my hands over my head before I slurred out, "Iam' daancing siillee!"

"I know your dancing! I want to know why you are acting like this!" He bellowed.

I giggled loudly and theatrically, "Deerek, I'm just having a little fun! Lighten up and have a drink!" I said and slowly bent down to grab a empty beer bottle that was on the table, I then handed the alcoholic beverage to Derek.

He took the bottle and threw it across the room, making it shatter and all over the living room carpet. "I can't believe you would do something like this! Why would you do something like this?!"

"I toold ya' I could bee coool if I waaanteed to bee!" I shouted in a sing song voice.

Derek put his hands to his face and let out a aggravated sigh. I was making him go crazy but at the time I didn't realize it. Sadly, the alcohol was really controlling me.

Without any kind of warning, I jumped off of the table, almost knocking Derek to the ground.

I put my hands on both of his shoulders and leaned my head into his neck, making him shiver and pull away.

"I don't even know where to begin," Derek said while staring into my red rimmed eyes. "How… How much--"

I interrupted him by putting by fingers on lips and resting my forehead on his, "I had thre-- three be- beers, Der-Bear."

Noticing how close I was to him, Derek gently backed away and folded his arms across his chest, not even giving me eye contact now. Being completely out of it, I smiled and took him by the collar, pulling him back towards my face.

"Casey, what the hell is your--"

Instead of interrupting him by putting my finger on his lips, I did something a little bit more risky… I crashed my lips onto his. Derek eyes stayed open, wider then ever before, I could feel him grower weaker as I deepened the kiss, my hands running through his hair and traveling down his neck.

After what seemed like forever, Derek broke the kiss. Even though I was in a haze and my mind was completely somewhere else, I could see the look of turmoil and astonishment on his face. For a small second I was Casey again. For a second I was thinking rationally. For a second I was regretting what I did… I was ashamed… Ashamed that I enjoyed that damn kiss.

"I-- I…" Derek struggled for words. "I should have never thrown this party." He then left me to my drunken thoughts and dashed up the stairs.

What happened after that is a blur to me. I do have a vague memory of running into the bathroom and passing out. Though, I have no idea when that happened.

The only thing I am grateful for is the fact that all of the people from last night were not people who knew me. They were collage kids whom Derek had invited on a whim. Don't ask me why he did this because I have no idea myself. I'm still trying to get rid of this terrible migraine.

I put my hand to my head and noticed that my hair was a mess. It was all knotted and kinky like I hadn't showered in days. Slowly coming back into reality, I realize that I must have slept on this floor all night because my back is killing me!

Just as I was leaving the cold tile floor, the door opened and out came the one person I least wanted to see right now… Derek.

He was holding a very large trash bag in one hand and a broom stick in the other. I imagined that he was cleaning up from last night.

"Oh, there you are," He said as he walked into the bathroom completely. "For a second there, I thought you disappeared."

I was too embarrassed to even look at him at the moment. I mean, not that long ago I was jumping on the kitchen table and doing who knows what else.

"Is everyone gone?" I asked him hoarsely.

Derek nodded his head, "Yeah, I spent all morning digging everyone out of here." He explained.

All morning? How long was I asleep?

"Derek, what time is it!" I asked while he began to collect all of the garbage that was strewed out across the floor.

"It's four o'clock, why?" He grumbled.

"Four o'clock! I was sleeping for that long?"

"Yeah, while you were sleeping off your hangover I was busy cleaning up." He said, his voice laced with both anger and annoyance.

"Derek, I'm sorry." I said super quickly.

"Sorry for what? I was the one who threw this party in the first place."

Did he forget about what happened last night? I was talking about that stupid kiss!

"No, I mean-- I'm sorry about what I did last night…"

Derek stopped what he was doing and looked at me with full attention, "Uh… Yeah, well… It's not like you meant it or anything… You were just drunk."

He didn't know… He didn't realize how much that kiss really did mean to me.

"Yeah, Derek… It meant nothing…" I lied and gave him a fake smile. My eyes were beginning to water but I tried to hold down the tears. I couldn't let him see me like this.

Derek looked around the bathroom before saying, "Yeah, well… Why don't you take a Advil and get cleaned up… You look like crap."

I rolled my eyes at him, it seemed like everything was back to normal again. Derek didn't know what I was feeling and I wanted to keep it like that.

Or at least… Try to keep it like that.

I'll let you guys decide if I should end it here or not...