Title: Toys
Rating: PG-13 for dirty implications
Spoilers: None
Summary: Kurogane does not appreciate the merits of well-made toys.
Author's Note:I have this item. It is an adorable Mokona that vibrates. I say it's one of Mokona's 108 secret techniques. :D

"What," Kurogane said, eyeing the thing in the mage's hands with deep loathing, "is that?"

Fai laughed, holding up the plush toy in his hands and making the long white ears waggle with his fingers. "Kuro-chan, you should recognize this by now!" he chided. "It's Mokona, of course!"

"I thought the meat-bun was out with the kid," Kurogane said, still keeping a wary distance. "Two of that damn thing is one too many already."

Fai laughed more, and crossed the hotel room they were sharing to kneel on Kurogane beside the couch. Kurogane leaned well over the side of the couch arm, still watching the white bundle warily. "Silly Kuro-bu, it's just a toy," he said. "Isn't it cute? It looks just like Mokona! I found it in a store today and wanted to share it with everyone."

"Nobody who knew the real thing could find that 'cute,' " Kurogane grumbled, but stopped trying to edge away.

The little toy did look like Mokona; apart from being smaller, the similarity was striking. It had the same white, furry round body, the same long floppy ears, and tiny stitched versions of the eyes and mouth. In an unnerving similarity, the toy even had a tiny, felt rectangle in the shape of a feather clutched in its paws.

"The shopkeeper - Fuu - said it was a very popular model," Fai said. "Especially because it does…" He reached to the back, and pulled on something with a long zipping sound. "This!"

Kurogane yelped and scrambled backwards as the little Mokona suddenly whirred to life in Fai's hands, buzzing loudly as it vibrated so intensely it almost wobbled out of his grip. He hit the end of a the couch and kept going, thumping loudly to the floor on his hands and knees as he tried to get away. "The hell!"

Fai was laughing his head off, the rat bastard; kneeling on the couch and doubled over his arm clutched against his stomach. "Ahahaha… Kuro, your face just then…" he gasped out. "It's just a toy, no need to run away like a scared little girl…"

"I did not run away!" Kurogane objected loudly. "It just surprised me, that's all! Seriously, what the hell is the point of a toy that does that? It's just stupid and useless. Why would anyone want a toy that vibrates?"

"Well…" Fai drawled out his next sentence with a knowing, lascivious leer. "The shopkeeper did say that this plushie was especially popular with his female customers…"

Kurogane gave Fai a puzzled look. "Well, duh," he said. "Cute things are for girls. Why would anyone except a girl be interested in something so silly and fluffy?"

"Oh, Kuro-bu, you have no sympathy for the female persuasion," Fai said. "It's not for the cute that they'd be all over this toy. It's right up there with the magical vibrating broomstick, if you take my meaning." He waggled his eyebrows at Kurogane suggestively.

Kurogane looked at Fai. Looked at the toy. Thought back over the women he knew - Sakura, Tomoyo, Kendappa, Souma. Tried to fit magical vibrating broomsticks into the picture. "…no, I don't think I do," he admitted at last.

Fai's laughter subsided at last. "Mou, Kuro-chan, you're no fun with the way you make me spell everything out," he sighed. "It's because they vibrate. You know… like for sex?"

"What does vibrating have to do with sex?"

"Oh, you're n -" Fai caught the look on Kurogane's face and sat bolt upright, his eyes widening. "You are serious," he repeated in a tone of disbelief. "Oh no, how did you get to be this old without learning the little facts of life? I always thought Kuro-rin was just shy! Do you really mean that your poor, backwards world didn't have such things? Or maybe they did and you just never asked. Oh, Kuro-virgin, Kuro-naïve, Kuro-"

"Enough with the nicknames already!" Kurogane snapped. He snatched the vibrating toy out of Fai's hands and flung it to the far corner of the hotel room. "There's nothing wrong with my world! Just because I don't happen to be a pervert like you -"

Fai laughed, and grabbed onto Kurogane's hand as he completed his throw. "Come on," he said. "Syaoran won't be back for hours yet - there's plenty of time to go and get back."

"Go where?" Kurogane demanded, tugging fruitlessly on his captured arm; it was like trying to escape a limpet.

Fai grinned wickedly at him as he dragged him towards the door. "Why, toy shopping, of course!"

Hidden in the corner between the bed and the wall, the little plush Mokona wore nothing less than a triumphant smirk.

~end.