Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney One Shot
Turnabout Bullshit!
The sun smiled down on the passersby of the street, the birds' sweet song filled the air, and a gentle breeze blew, playfully ruffling people's hair. It was a beautiful day.
"For being called the Wright Anything Agency… I would kill for ANYTHING to happen," Apollo muttered, turning away from the bathroom window to resume scrubbing the toilet. "At least if I killed someone Athena or Mr. Wright would have a client to defend…"
It was a normal day at the Wright Anything Agency. Which is to say nothing was happening. Athena laid back on the couch, flipping through the different TV channels while Apollo took his turn scrubbing the toilet. Even Trucy was reduced to practicing simple card tricks. Giving into the reality that no new cases were imminent, Phoenix was in the next room organizing old case files.
"He's at the twenty yard line, the ten, and the five! Touchdown! After falling behind in the second quarter, it seems-"
Bzzt!
"I'm sorry, Monica, but I have to tell you something. I'm in love with your sister."
Bzzt!
"Swiper no swiping! Swiper no swip-"
Bzzt!
"Argh!" With a cry, Athena threw the TV remote on the ground. Athena crossed her arms, heaving a frustrated exhale. "Why isn't there any breaking news of people being murdered? How are we supposed to get new clients if there aren't people dying?"
"Did someone say 'clients'?" Athena and Trucy looked up to see Apollo sticking his head out of the bathroom and into the room. Trying to contain his excitement, Apollo walked up to the couch, looking this way and that. "Where?"
Trucy laughed, "Sorry, Polly. Athena here is just trying to find new clients from breaking news on the TV."
Disappointed, Apollo sighed. Scratching the back of his head, Apollo admitted, "Well, that is how we get half of our clients. But Athena… I don't think we're going to discover any murders on the PBS Kids channel."
"There will be when I brutally kill Caillou." Athena huffed and fell back against the couch. "And get that toilet scrubber away from my hair!" After batting Apollo's arm away, Athena ran her fingers through her long ponytail. "It took me all morning to fix it, you know." When no one spoke, Athena continued, "Because there's was nothing better for me to do… but now there's no one to show it off to…" A heavy silence filled the air as the trio realized the truth of Athena's words.
Smiling, Trucy pointed to Apollo and countered, "But what about Polly? You can show it off to him—" Before Trucy could finish, Apollo yanked down Trucy's magician hat over her eyes. "Ah! I can't see!" cried Trucy, her arms pin wheeling.
Apollo plopped down onto the couch next to Athena, putting the toilet scrubber on the table. Noticing the deck of playing cards in Trucy's hands, he exclaimed, "Oh, cards! Trying another magic trick, Trucy?" When Trucy nodded, Apollo smiled. However it quickly melted into a frown as he pushed his index finger into his brow, deep in thought, "You know… now that I think about it… have you ever used cards to play actual card games?"
Trucy gasped, horrified. Her eyes bugged out of her head, and the hand that covered her mouth trembled. Athena appeared equally as disturbed. "W-What?" Apollo asked, throwing his hands up defensively. "It's a legitimate question, isn't it? I was just wondering…"
"I… I… guess I never have…" stuttered Trucy, still stunned. "Daddy plays poker, sure, but I never… I can't believe it…"
"You don't need to act like you just discovered the world is round," Apollo commented sarcastically.
Flashing her trademark smile and peace sign, Athena declared, "Well, we just have to fix that, don't we?" Trucy shuffled the cards and began to deal them. "Más rápido!" Athena cried when Trucy hesitated.
"But what should we play?" Trucy inquired.
"Oh, I know!" Getting excited, Apollo pulled up his pant legs above his knees and leaned forward over the table. "We can play a game Clay and I and our friends used to play a lot back in the day. It's called Bull."
"Apollo Justice!" Trucy shouted, putting her hands on her hips. "You need to wash that dirty mouth of yours. Athena, get me a bar of soap."
"I'm not cursing, Trucy," sighed Apollo. "It's—" Apollo was interrupted by Athena's low chuckling deep in her throat. A suspicious twinkle was in her eyes as she toyed with the handle of the toiler scrubber. "Gah!" Apollo cried, leaning away from her. "Don't even think about it! Bull is just the name of the game, that's all!"
"Really? Sounds fun!" Athena and Trucy chorused.
Apollo rolled his eyes and shook his head. "Look, I'll explain the rules as we go. Deal all of the cards to everyone." When Trucy finished dealing the cards, Apollo placed his hand over his cards. "All right. Whoever has the ace of spades place it on the table face up." Everyone picked up their cards and paused.
"Uh… Trucy…" Athena turned over all of her cards so everyone could see them. All of the cards were ace of spades. Apollo mirrored Athena's actions to reveal the same exact hand.
"R-Right." Trucy stuck out her tongue and bonked herself on the head. "I'll get one of Daddy's decks."
Phoenix stared down at his enemy, weapon in hand. "Ha! Take that!" he cried, lashing out his weapon. However, it seemed his adversary was well prepared with a new trick up their sleeve. A great plume of dust exploded into the air, causing Phoenix to have a coughing fit.
Phoenix had retreated into the storage room when he realized he couldn't use the excuse that clients could appear from the front door or Trucy's magical panties. Ever since he was reinstated as a lawyer a year and a half ago, he had only entered the storage room a couple of times. That meant much of the books and case files sitting in the bookcase before him weren't actually from his own cases, but his late mentor, Mia Fey. Phoenix felt ashamed for letting such a long time pass without cleaning the room; it seemed to be disrespectful to all the lessons Mia had taught him. If Pearl or Maya were to spirit channel Mia, Phoenix knew he wouldn't be able to defend himself, leaving him no choice but to plead guilty.
And yet… cleaning. Ugh. Who would want to do that on a beautiful day? So instead of organizing, sweeping the floor, or being productive dusting, Phoenix spent most of reminiscing on old cases and sparring with a dusty bookcase. After glancing at a clock and seeing how much time he had wasted, Phoenix resolved to finally organize Mia's old law books in the bookshelf. Crossing his arms, Phoenix wasted several minutes mulling over how exactly he wanted the books and case files arranged. Should he place his cases reports on top and Mia's on the bottom? Or should he leave it as it currently was with Mia's files and books on the top and his cases crammed wherever there was space? And what about Apollo's and Athena's cases? What was most important? Obviously, Phoenix was the most important of all so the files related to him should be placed on prominently at the top with his old embarrassing cases stuffed into the bottom shelf. Perfect. A course of action settled, Phoenix reached toward the book shelf to begin.
Loud yelling from the bordering room startled Phoenix. Cocking his head to listen, Phoenix rubbed his chin, deducing the cries belonged to Athena and Apollo. Based on the short, angry shouts, it seemed they were calling each other names rather than having a heated debate about law. However, Phoenix believed that they would be able to resolve their differences like adults instead of like children. His intervention wasn't required.
Satisfied with his conclusion of the facts, Phoenix grabbed the first book of law from the bookcase. The title of the book caught Phoenix's eye and he realized he had never read it before. Curious, Phoenix flipped through the book. He stopped when a particular passage caught his eye. Reading it, however, caused his head to hurt.
"That's it! That is so totally bullshit!" Trucy screamed.
Jerking from surprise and fright, Phoenix dropped the book he was holding onto his foot. Now his foot hurt too. Holding back curses of his own, Phoenix hobbled to the door. Yanking it open, Phoenix shouted, "What's going on in here?!" Three pairs of eyes stared at Phoenix in shock, resembling a herd of deer caught in the headlights of a car. In the split second before she heard the door opening, Phoenix saw Trucy was standing at the end of the table, her face twisted in anger and fists clenched at her sides. Apollo and Athena were sitting on the couch, something in both of their hands. So they were having an argument after all. Crossing his arms, Phoenix ordered, "Someone better start talking. Immediately." As he spoke he stared at Trucy, silently demanding she explain herself for her sudden addition of foul words into her vocabulary.
Trucy giggled, waving her hand in dismissal at her father's tone. "Don't worry about it, Daddy! Apollo, Athena, and I are playing a game."
"A game in which you say 'bullshit'," deadpanned Phoenix.
"Exactly!" Trucy exclaimed, pointing her finger at Phoenix. "We're playing the card game Bull. You cry 'Bull!' when you think other people are lying. It's kind of like how you say 'Bingo' in Bingo. And…" Realizing she was in what the residents of the Wright Anything Agency dubbed the objection pose, Trucy added, "And when you shout 'Objection' in court."
"Is that so…?" Phoenix said, unconvinced. And yet, the more he thought about it the more it made sense. Just imagine… if that was the case, Phoenix could cry 'Bullshit!' when a witness was lying on the stand. Or at any prosecutor poked fun of his spiky hair or made snappy remarks about his brain. Or when the judge handed down a penalty to Phoenix when his logic was obviously sound. To cry 'Bullshit!' in all of their smug faces… how liberating it would be!
Confused by the faraway look on Phoenix's eyes, Trucy stammered, "D-Daddy?"
But wait… if Phoenix would be able to cry 'Bullshit!' then wouldn't everyone else be able to as well? Suddenly images of prosecutors throwing the expletive back in his face haunted him...
…When Phoenix asserted that he didn't kill his mentor Mia, Edgeworth would cry, "Bullshit!" and ask for a guilty verdict for Phoenix…
…When Phoenix decided cross examining a parrot in court would be a utterly fantastic idea, Von Karma would scoff, "Bullshit!" and get the judge to hold him in contempt of court…
…When Phoenix deduced that the witness Ini Miney was actually her older sister Mimi disguised as her younger sister, Franziska would snap, "Bullshit!" and crack her whip at him…
…When Phoenix suggested feat of body of Maya's mother crossed a burning bridge from a swinging rope could actually happen in reality, Godot would yell "Bullshit!" and throw his coffee mug at his face.
…On second thought, maybe it wasn't such a good idea. How sad.
"U-Um, Mr. Wright?" Apollo hesitantly spoke up. "You weren't supposed to take it seriously."
Athena began to gather everyone's cards and the cards piled on the table. She smiled up at Phoenix as she invited, "Want to play, boss? Come on, it'll be fun! I promise."
"Hmm…" Phoenix debated Athena's offer. While he wouldn't be able to cry "Bullshit!" in court at least he could shout it at his employees. That would be a nice stress reliever. And playing cards was a good excuse to leave the cleaning of the storage room for another day. "All right. I'm game." Everyone stared at Phoenix, their faces unamused. Putting his hand on the back of his head and grinning a cheesy smile, Phoenix retracted his statement. "Okay, okay, no more puns."
Phoenix walked over to besides Apollo and sat down on the chair. He felt something squishy underneath his butt. Baffled, Phoenix glanced at everyone's faces. They looked stricken with horror. A sense of doom crept upon Phoenix. He sucked in a deep breath, leaning forward. Blowing out his cheeks, Phoenix reached underneath him and grabbed what felt like a handle. He brought it up for everyone to see.
A dirty, disgusting, moldy toilet scrubber.
"Who did this?" Phoenix asked in a voice that was deadly calm.
At the same time, Apollo pointed an accusing finger at Athena, Athena gestured to Trucy, and Trucy pointed to Apollo.
"Athena!"
"Trucy!"
"Apollo!"
Inwardly groaning, Phoenix prodded, "Apollo. Explain. Now."
Apollo paused momentarily before crying, "It was Athena's turn to scrub the toilet!"
"Bull!" Athena blurted, her clenched fists shaking. "It may be my turn, but I didn't do it! You're took over my turn because I asked you for a favor. You're the one who came out here with the toilet wand thing and put it on the table!"
Judging by the sweat sliding down Apollo's face, Phoenix concluded that Athena was telling the truth. Despite the accusations, Apollo crossed his arms and retorted, "Yeah, well, why couldn't you have done it in the first place?"
"Why? Why?! You want to know why?" Nabbing the toilet scrubber from Phoenix, Athena jabbed it in Apollo's face. "Because I'm tired of cleaning up after your bullshit that you leave in the toilet, that's why!" Trucy clamped her hands over her mouth to keep from laughing.
"And, Athena, you blame Trucy because…?" urged Phoenix.
"She's the one who moved the moved the scrubbie from the table to the couch where you're sitting at."
"Apollo," Phoenix growled, "We EAT off of this table!"
Phoenix turned his cold hard stare to Apollo. Apollo froze. "Do you like your salary?" asked Phoenix.
Apollo gulped. "Y-Yes I do, sir. Very much so, sir. I also like my job—"
"Well, you're going to be parting with some of it to pay for the dry cleaning of my pants. Plus, you're cleaning the table and the couch. As for the toilet, you'll be scrubbing that for the next two weeks. And I expect it to shine."
"Y-Yes, Mr. Wright, sir…" Sighing, Apollo slumped over. He rubbed one arm with his hand as he frowned at the thought of all that cleaning.
"Apollo?" Phoenix said, his tone clearly conveying he was expecting something.
"…Yeah?"
"NOW!" Phoenix shouted, slamming his hands on the table like he did to his bench in court.
Apollo jumped out of his skin. "Right!" Leaping up off the couch, Apollo took the scrubber from Athena and dashed into the bathroom.
Phoenix exhaled as he rubbed his forehead in a vain attempt to banish the headache that had formed. Getting up, Phoenix said, "Trucy, deal the cards. We can play a couple of rounds after Apollo finishes cleaning the table. And no more saying 'bullshit' or any jokes thereof. Understand?"
"Yes, Daddy!"
"You got it, boss!"
Though the situation had him shaking his head, he couldn't resist smiling a little bit. Phoenix headed toward a room in the back of the office, hoping against hope that he had another pair of pants somewhere within in the office. Behind him, Phoenix heard the hushed whispers of Athena, Trucy, and Apollo.
"Did you see his pants? It looked like he, he…"
"I'm telling Mr. Edgeworth the next time I meet him!"
"Haha! I can totally see him now! He'd shake his head and say 'Really, Wright? At least you didn't do it in a courtroom!'" Athena, Trucy, and Apollo burst out laughing so hard they turned turned red, and tears streamed down their faces.
"I will get them all…" Phoenix vowed, clenching his fist. Come what may, he was going to get his vengeance through this card game of Bull.
"Everyone ready to begin now? All right, let's start, then."
After Phoenix discovered a pair of pants he could wear and put it on and the table was washed, everyone settled on the couch eager to play Bull. Even Phoenix, who had been upset earlier, was beginning to get excited. It had been too long since he had enjoyed a good card game outside of poker. Thankfully, Apollo was a forgiving lad, and he was willing to put any bitterness from the toilet scrubber fiasco behind him in order for everyone to enjoy themselves.
As Trucy placed the ace of spades on the table, Apollo explained, "Because Trucy is the one who had the ace of spades, the person to her left goes next. So that would be Mr. Wright, me, Athena, and then Trucy again. After the ace, comes twos, and then threes. Essentially the card we place goes in numerical order. Understand?" When Phoenix nodded, Apollo continued, "Now let's say that you don't have any twos in your hand, Mr. Wright, when it is your turn to place twos in the pile. That's when you need to lie. You put down another card of a different number face down on the table and say that it is actually twos. If someone thinks you're lying, they call 'Bull'. When anyone calls 'Bull', we flip over your card you placed in the pile to see if you were lying or not. If you were lying, you have to take your card back that you lied with as well as any cards beneath it in the pile. If you were telling the truth, then whoever called bull takes all of the cards in the pile. The objective of the game is to discard all of your cards. Got it?" After a moment of digesting the information, Phoenix nodded again.
The first couple of games everyone played were more of a trial run, considering Phoenix's lack of experience, but by the third game, Phoenix felt confident he was familiar enough with the rules to win. Phoenix placed three jacks on the table, which was followed by Apollo claiming he was putting down one queen down. Giving the cards in his hand another cursory look, Phoenix noticed he had three queens in his hand. The odds of Apollo possessing the final queen were slim. Leaning forward in his excitement, Phoenix reach out his hand and shouted, "Hold it! Bull!" Before anyone could protest, Phoenix flipped over the card she added on the table. It was a seven of hearts. Phoenix smiled, happy that he was finally getting the hang of the game.
Pouting, Apollo crossed his arms and huffed, "But, Mr. Wright, that's not fair. After all, in the first two games we went easy on you and this is how you repay us?"
Phoenix glared at Apollo. "Don't. Even. Go. There."
Apollo gulped, remembering a certain incident with a toilet scrubber. He hastily took all the cards in the pile.
After everyone's laughter died down, Trucy asked, "So what card is next? What am I supposed to put down now?" In the midst of everyone laughing, Trucy had missed hearing Athena take her turn.
Apollo answered, "You're on three—"
"No, it's fours, Trucy," Phoenix interrupted.
Her eyebrows creasing, Trucy's eyes darted back and forth between Apollo to Phoenix. Seeing her hesitation, Phoenix put an arm around Trucy's shoulders. "Come on, Trucy. You're Daddy's little baby girl. Would I lie to you?"
Trucy smiled. "No." Depositing a couple of cards on the pile, Trucy said, "Two fours!"
Trying to hide a smirk, Apollo said, "Bull."
"What?" Trucy gasped, confused. "What do you mean?"
"You should have listened to Apollo, Trucy. You're on threes, not fours. Boss lied to you."
Trucy turned to Phoenix with a frown on her face that could have made storm clouds cry.
Phoenix, his arm still around Trucy, rubbed Trucy's arm. "That's the way the world works."
"You're awful, Daddy. I'm never trusting you again."
"Alright." Phoenix brushed the pile of cards on the table meant for Trucy and placed a card on top of the ace of spades. "One five."
"BULL!" Apollo and Athena shouted.
"Wait, what-oh shoot!" Phoenix slammed his head on the table, his hands running through his hair.
Trucy died laughing. Her entire face going red, Trucy smacked her knee. She panted between fits of laughter, "That's… what… you get, Daddy!" After rubbing away the tears, Trucy pushed the pile of cards in Phoenix's direction. "Here. You take all the cards!"
Even though the rules would have dictated that Trucy take the pile and Phoenix would only get his one three, Phoenix accepted the pile without complaint.
Several more rounds passed until it was Athena's turn. Smirking, Athena laid her addition to the pile of cards on the table. "Two Aces."
"I LIED." Widget blurted.
Everyone glared at Athena. Gasping, Athena clapped her cheeks with her hands. "Widget! You traitor!" she bemoaned. Without anyone needing to call Bull, Athena reluctantly claimed the cards in the pile.
"One Two." Mr. Hat said.
Trucy slammed a card onto the table. "One three!"
"Objection!"
"What?" Trucy asked innocently. She turned over her card in the pile to show the four of clubs. "I told the truth."
"Bull," Apollo called, annoyed. "Stop cheating, Trucy, and take the cards." Trucy cutely stuck out her tongue, before collapsing Mr. Hat and taking the pile.
"One four," Phoenix said, continuing the game.
"One five!" bellowed Apollo after Phoenix, unnecessarily practicing his chords of steels and making everyone's ears bleed.
"A six," Athena added to the pile, wincing slightly from Apollo's shouting.
Trucy added, "One seven!"
"Take that!" cried Phoenix, situating his cards on the table, "Three eights!"
Grabbing a card from his hand and placing it on the pile, Apollo smiled, "One seven!"
"One eight!" Athena smiled as well, placing her last card on the pile. "I win," she crowed, putting her arms behind her head and leaning back on the couch. "Ah, that was fun." However her joy quickly disappeared when Apollo called bull. "What are you talking about?" She asked, confused. Flipping over the card she set on top of the pile, she showed everyone the eight of diamonds. "Have a look! See I was telling the truth." Shoving the large pile towards Apollo, she grinned, "There, Apollo. I win. You lost. Better luck next time."
His smile only growing bigger, Apollo wagged his finger in Athena's face. "Nuh, uh, uh! You're lying!" Ignoring Athena's objections, Apollo clarified, "You're on tens but you called it an eight."
"B-But I was just following you. You played a seven." Athena sputtered.
Apollo crossed his arms and smirked. "Gotcha!"
"Bull! I call Bull!" cried Athena as she lunged at Apollo. "You're the real liar! I was going to win!" Apollo only laughed, enraging Athena even more.
Once Phoenix and Trucy separated the two, Athena plopped back onto the couch, scowling. "Why didn't anyone call bull on Apollo if he was lying?" Phoenix and Trucy only smiled back at her. "You were all hoping Apollo's trick would have worked so that I wouldn't have won, weren't you? Well, I'll show you!" Getting pumped, Athena collected the cards in the pile and proclaimed, "I may not have won yet, but I will!"
After Athena's declaration, the game resumed. For a reason Phoenix couldn't understand, he began to notice that his fellow players were exhibiting strange behaviors. Apollo and Trucy kept glancing at the others when they believed no one was watching them. Athena continuously cocked her head to the side and frowned, as though she was trying to formulate some secret strategy in a card game that required no thought.
"One jack."
"Two queens."
"Fours kings."
"One ace."
"One two."
"Two threes."
The pile only grew larger as everyone seemed to lose the will to cry bull. So as Phoenix lied for the third time in a row without getting caught, he patted himself on the back for his outstanding bluffing capabilities that apparently worked as well on his employees as it had on prosecutors. With two jacks and a four, Phoenix was close to winning the never ending card game. Counting off in his head, Phoenix realized if he was able to lie with his four on his next turn, he would win with his two jacks on the following turn. Shouting bull in other people's faces was extremely satisfying, but winning the game would be nothing short of the ultimate gratification. He grinned in anticipation.
"One four!"
"Two fives!"
"One six!"
Pulling on his best poker face, Phoenix situated his four on the teetering pile. "One seven!"
"BULL!"
Everyone shouted at once. Surprised, Phoenix jumped. "W-What? What evidence do you have that I lied?" he asked, in one last vain attempt to spare him from picking up the pile and losing all hope of winning.
Placing her hand on her hip, Trucy dipped her hand with her other hand. "Didn't ya know, Daddy? My intuition tells me so!"
"I-Intuition?" Phoenix stammered, a horrible feeling growing in his gut.
Grinning, Apollo rubbed his wrist. "My bracelet reacted when you put that card down. You were a little nervous when you played that card, weren't you, Mr. Wright? Even if you deny it, I perceived your nervous habit of grinning like a fool when you're bluffing."
"You…" Phoenix growled.
Leaning forward, Athena pointed her finger at Phoenix. "And that's not all! I heard the discord in your heart! When you lied, I heard your fear. And right now, I can sense your sadness and anger skyrocketing!" When Phoenix glared at Athena, Athena added, "Uh… Especially the anger part..."
Smirking, Apollo explained, "We've been doing this all game. We don't need a silly thing like evidence to back up any of our claims when we have super powers like ours!" HIs proclamation was met with smiles all around.
"Cheaters…" Phoenix hissed under his breath.
"Sure, Daddy, whatever." Trucy chuckled, waving a hand in dismissal. "Well, we'll see if you lied or not soon enough. Turn your card around."
Frowning, Phoenix turned his gaze to the deck, Trucy's words running in his mind. A crazy idea forming, Phoenix grinned, a glint in his eye. "No… I'll turn the game around."
"Huh?" Trucy asked, confused. Apollo shrugged, while Athena raised her index finger to her temple and spun it in a circle, as though to say Phoenix was a bit off his rocker.
Phoenix slammed his hands on the table, causing everyone to jump. "Recall, your Honor, that in the middle of the game, Trucy pulled out her Mr. Hat."
"One Two." Mr. Hat said.
Trucy slammed a card onto the table. "One three!"
"Objection!"
"What?" Trucy asked innocently. She turned over her card in the pile to show the four of clubs. "I told the truth."
"Bull," Apollo called, annoyed. "Stop cheating, Trucy, and take the cards." Trucy cutely stuck out her tongue, before collapsing Mr. Hat and taking the pile.
"One four," Phoenix said, continuing the game.
"Trucy used Mr. Hat to place twos, so Trucy could use the threes she had in her hand. In truth, Trucy was on twos." Phoenix stood up and threw out his arm, jabbing his finger as he said, "But when the game continued, it started on fours, not threes!" Phoenix leaned his face in, becoming unbearable close to everyone else and he shouted, "…And had the game continued correctly, I would have won!" Chuckling, Phoenix placed his hands on his hips and smugly looked down on all of them. "Face it, you lost. I always win in the end."
"Objection!"
Apollo crossed his arms, and stared down Phoenix. "Really, Mr. Wright? That's the best you can do?"
"Huh? What are you talking about?" Phoenix asked, frowned. "I turned the case around, flipped it upside down, thought out of the box, put on my biggest smile, etc. Revelation gotten, case over. Not Guilty. The End."
Apollo sadly shook his head, as though he was genuinely disappointed by Phoenix. "First of all, Mr. Wright, you were the one who continued the game in the wrong order after Trucy's Mr. Hat. You made the mistake; it's your fault."
"Yeah, Boss." Athena turned on Widget, her blue digital screen appearing in front of her. "You went in the wrong order, not once, but twice. Remember? You tried to trick Trucy into putting down the wrong card, and Trucy believed you. Then you put the wrong card down afterwards." Athena smirked. "You really suck at this game."
Trucy snorted, "Yeah, counting has always been difficult for Daddy." Athena and Trucy fell into a fit of giggles.
"Excuse me?" Phoenix snarled, but the girls ignored him.
"'I always win in the end'?" Apollo repeated, raising an eyebrow. "I'm sorry, Mr. Wright, but come on. That's a pretty arrogant statement. You win games and trials by the skin of your teeth, bluffing all the while and charging in without thinking. Like just now, did you realize that we've called bull many times since you messed up the order? All the cards that were supposed to be yours because you lied are divided among all of us. It's impossible to fix. That means…" Apollo leaned back in seat and raised his arms to the side. "This game is null and void."
Phoenix gnashed his teeth together, fuming. "All right, then!" he snapped, slamming the table. He pointed his finger and declared, "Fine, do a new game, what do I care? But this time, I'll use the Magatama. Ha! Let's see if your powers will hold up against that!"
Apollo, Athena, and Trucy glanced at each other, as if to ask, "Are you hearing what I'm hearing?"
"What now?" Phoenix shouted, getting annoyed.
Trucy lifted a finger and said, "The Magatama, which isn't your special power in the first place, can be used by anyone."
Phoenix cheesily grinned, and put his hand behind his head. "E-Er, that's a technicality…"
"And," Athena injected, "Even if you were going to use the Magatama, just the presence of Psyche locks doesn't mean they lied during that round. It could be that we were telling the truth on their turn, but we lied two rounds earlier. Instead of the Magatama helping you, you'll just guarantee your loss."
His eyes half-lidded and his shoulders slumped, Phoenix began to sweat bullets. "Th-that… that's not true…"
Chuckling, Apollo crossed his arms and smugly looked down on Phoenix's collapsed form in the chair. "Just because you're the original, that doesn't mean your better than us. Your bluffing 'skill' isn't a skill at all, it's a joke and the Magatama isn't even yours to begin with. You have nothing that makes you special. Face it, you lost." Apollo slammed a fist down on the table, mimicking a gravel. "I pronounce you, Phoenix Wright, guilty. Guilty of being nothing but bullshit."
"N—" Phoenix threw his head back like he was hit. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He could see the doors slamming close before his eyes.
As Apollo, Athena, and Trucy shuffled the cards for a new game, Phoenix sobbed quietly in a corner of the room. His back away from everyone else, he placed his hand on the wall and hung his head. He muttered to himself, "It's not fair… I worked a thousand times harder than them to get to where I am now to provide for them… None of them wanted to be a defense lawyer when they were in fourth grade… it doesn't matter that all of their mothers tragically died, I deserve a lot more than all the bullshit everyone gives me…"
As Apollo handed out the cards, she said, "I don't know why we invited Mr. Wright in the first place. We knew this was going to happen."
Trucy looked over her shoulder at her father. "Is this why Daddy and I never played any card games before…?"
"Well, whatever," Athena nonchalantly shrugged her shoulders. "Bull is a really good for practicing our abilities. We should play it before every trial."
Trucy nodded, "Yup!"
Apollo grinned, "Sounds great!"
Apollo, Athena, and Trucy happily laughed loudly over the sound of Phoenix's misery.
I came up with this idea for a fic after a phase in which my family played a lot of Bull together. I have an idea for a "sequel" to this in which the old Phoenix Wright cast (Maya, Edgeworth, Gumshoe, etc.) play a game that's called Mafia. In short, two people of a large group of players are the Mafia, another two people are the police, and one person is the narrator. The two people who are the Mafia tell the narrator which player they want to kill. Then the police tell the narrator who they want to put in jail. After that's done, the narrator tells everyone a fabricated story in which he/she names the person the Mafia killed and who the police jailed. The game is won when the police jail the two players who are the Mafia. Considering that the Phoenix Wright cast consists of defense attorneys, prosecutors, detectives, etc., I think it would be quite a fun, funny story! Let me know if you think so, too! Thanks for reading!