Title: Please, Ani
Author: Oswald-Girl
Characters: Padmé Amidala, Anakin Skywalker
Time: After Anakin's fall in Revenge of the Sith
Genre: Tragedy, Angst
Rating: K
Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
Please, Ani
This is not what I wanted, Ani. Is it what you wanted? To see the Republic for which you gave so much simply crumble beneath your feet? To crush the people who took you under their wing when you were so small, so vulnerable? Did you want everything to be destroyed?
I know you, Ani. You are a better person than that. The man I married would never have helped to ruin the lives of countless people, people you worked with and fought beside for years. The man I married would never be so blinded by his anger. I cannot understand how you could be responsible for the deaths of every Jedi in the once grand Republic. What happened to you? Why are you doing these terrible things?
It is unreal to me, Ani. I keep thinking this is just a dream- a horrible nightmare, but a dream nonetheless. I wait to wake up with you beside me, ready to comfort me, but I never wake up. I feel so lost, so trapped.
Think of Obi-Wan, Ani. He is- was- your best friend, your mentor, your father, your brother. How can you be so willing to strike him down? All he ever wanted was to help you. Even now, he still holds onto a sliver of hope for you, though buried deep and hidden from the galaxy. He has always been there for you, even when I could not be, and yet you turned on him without a second thought. Let him help you.
Your mother would never have wanted this, Ani. Shmi would be devastated by the fall you have taken. You may not realize it, but she always wanted more for you than the life of a slave. And now you have become a slave once more, but now you are controlled not a physical master, but by the darkness within you. You are ruled by the hatred you have built up over the years.
Do you remember Qui-Gon, Ani? Do you even remember the man who always believed in you? The man who was so dedicated to helping others. The man who rescued you from the life of a slave. The man who brought us together through impossible circumstances. That man loved you like a son, even though he knew you for such a short time. He saw the fire inside your soul, burning with potential. Why have you extinguished that fire in favor of flaming hatred?
Have you forgotten Ahsoka, Ani? The young girl struggling to find her place in the galaxy, much the same way you once did. She is more like you than you know. She looked up to you for guidance, and you were always a good master, a friend when she had no one else. But you seem to have given up on her, too.
People love you, Ani. People who have never met you look to you for guidance. You were the hero of the war, honored and glorified by all, why would you throw that away? Those who know the truth of what you have become will live in heartbreak because of what you have done. Those who are blissfully ignorant will now fear you under a new name.
I hate that new name, Ani. Darth Vader sounds so cold and cruel, fitting, I suppose, but it feels wrong to say. Once, I would have been so proud to know my dear husband is responsible for the world in which our children will be raised; now, it only breaks my heart every time I think of their future.
If not for anyone else, why not for them, Ani? Our children, did you forget them? There are two, twins, a boy and a girl. Luke and Leia. A darling baby girl, just as you wanted, and a handsome baby boy, who will be raised in the care of others. They will learn to fear their father and never know the truth. I pray for their sake, they will never find out. If they do, our children will be in more danger than ever. Their lives are at stake, and their father is the man who poses the greatest threat. How incredibly awful. They deserve better.
What about me, Ani? You said you loved me, did you mean it? Why would you annihilate everything I worked so hard for if you did? Why would you throw your life away? Why would take everything I ever cared about from me? You have taken my entire life, my friends, my family, my life's passion, my children. You have even taken yourself from me. I do not know you anymore. The man I fell in love with is gone, replaced by an image of darkness and terror. I have nothing worth living for. You were the only thing that kept me going, and even that has been ripped from my grasp.
I'm sorry, Ani. I once told you that if we were to fall in love, we would be forced to live a lie, and that lie would destroy us. I never realized how right I was. I used to laugh at those weak women who fell so desperately in love that they could not live without their man. Now, I feel like a hypocrite. But not enough to live with this pain. A broken heart. The phrase always sounded silly to me when I was younger, but now I understand what it feels like. I cannot continue to live like this. I cannot bear to watch as you obliterate the last remnants of the life I once knew.
But there is good in you, Ani. I know there is. I may not be Force sensitive, but I can feel the good in you. It still burns in your veins. Please do not give up on the last trace of humanity left in you.
Please, Ani. I love you. I'm sorry.