Disclaimer: yeah, yeah, I know...I don't own HSM...
AN: Well, this is my 3rd song fic...there's a lot of pain in it, and when you read it, you think Sharpay will die, but it has a happy ending...REVIEW PLEASE!
I turned the hot water knob and watched the water flow, waiting for it to get hot enough. I walked over to the long mirror, and slowly took off my bathrobe, revealing all my scars and bruises. I saw the biggest bruise on my entire body--it's on my shoulder. I lifted my hand up and touched it softly, but even that slight touch hurt and made me cringe. I turned around and placed all the candles on the bathtub, going all around. I lit all of them, then placed the small razor on the side of the tub. The water was hot enough, so I turned on the cold water to even it out, then I put the plug in the bottom. I continued staring at all my scars while the tub filled up.
Heaven ablaze in our eyes.
We're standing still in time.
I slowly got in the tub and sat down when it was halfway done filling up. I layed down, closed my eyes, and remembered what started all this pain...
It was my dad...he was always drunk and angry...and he took out all his anger on me..
Ryan would always try to stop him, but my dad was stronger.
I was weak, so all I could do was lay there and scream and cry while my own father furiously raped me.
So, after he was put in a rehabilitation center, I realized all the pain I'd been through, which drove me to an unsuccessfully suicidal life...
I sat there and took the razor in my hand. I slowly scraped it against my wrist, watching blood pour out, dripping off the sides of my wrist, and sliding down my hand and falling off my fingertips.
The blood on our hands is the wine.
We offer a sacrifice.
I placed the razor in my bleeding hand, and scraped it across my other wrist. I layed back and felt the blood pour from my body. I looked down at the water. The blood mixed so well and made it look like crimson red paint.
A sharp pain ran through my head. It got stronger and stronger, and my hands and wrists were throbbing.
Come on and show them your love.
Rip out the wings of a butterfly
For your soul, my love
Rip out the wings of a butterfly for your soul.
My whole life flashed before my eyes. I then figured out that Ryan was my whole life. He loved me and helped me. He was the only one who ever cared...
"Oooooooh..." I moan as the pain gets worse and worse...the blood won't stop pouring.
This endless mercy mile.
We're crawling side by side.
At that moment, I didn't know what to do. Remembering all the pain my father put me through made me miserable and left me feeling unworthy of the body I possessed. But, remembering Ryan and how he took excellent care of me, being the best brother I could ever ask for, made me happy...made me smile...and I felt guilty for wanting to end my life..
With hell freezing over in our eyes.
Gods kneel before our crime.
I got up out of the bathtub and grabbed a towel, which I quickly wrapped tightly around my wrist. I grabbed another towel and wrapped it around my other wrist.
When my father went away, he took my life with him...but I knew that I had to keep my soul alive...for Ryan.
I had to be strong...for Ryan.
I had to survive...for Ryan.
Everything I did from there on would be...for Ryan.
Come on and show them your love.
Rip out the wings of a butterfly
For your soul, my love
Rip out the wings of a butterfly for your soul.
...for Ryan...