Rejoice, fans of the Fox becomes addicted to cheese series! A new and welcome addition to the legend is finally here, so why not read it, and pour yourself some root beer?
Fox Becomes Addicted to Cheese: Grand Lodge of Cheese Edition!!!
One day Fox decided to add a
little excitement to his life by joining a Grand Cheese Lodge. He
knew his service
to Corneria, backed up by his record of cheese
obsession, would surely get him accepted. So it came to pass that
Fox
was spending an afternoon sitting on the living room sofa of the
Great Fox mothership, searching frantically
through the Galacta
pages, looking for a lodge to call up. He finally found one, but as
soon as he called the number
he was told he would be transfered to
the Secretary, and he was put on hold, and had to listen to a really
bad remix
of the not so melodic "Zoness" theme from
SF64. Fox then decided that it would be wiser if he were to locate
them on a GPS system, and find the lodge himself. So that's exactly
what he did. He found one located directly across the street from his
apartment,
in Corneria City. When he got there, he saw that the
entire lodge was composed of feta cheese. It was also very large, and
looked welcoming, yet somewhat foreboding. He knocked on the door,
eagerly anticipating a response. A 5 foot 6 wolf dude wearing a block
of cheese, on his head (which convienently covered up his emo
haircut), clad in a green robe answered the door and asked Fox why he
came.
"Why did you come here, to this super secret
fraternity? If you're thinking I'm gonna let you rush on in, well,
can't let you do that, silly fox!" said the robed wolf person.
"I would like to join the Ultra Secret Feta Cheese
Fraternity! Is this where the meetings take place?" asked an
eager Fox Mcloud, his face beaming with typical anthropormorphic fox
anticipation.
"Yes, and btw, my name is Brother Colby
Jack. But please, call me Colby. Ahem, but the
point is, you must
not disturb the sanctity of our incredibly edible esoteric edifice of
eliteness! Who are you
and what is your background? We don't let
just anybody join this lodge you know!" said Brother Colby.
"I'm Fox Mcloud, lead pilot of the Star Fox team, an ELITE
team of pilots, as we were described in the original SNES
Star Fox
instruction manual. See? I have proof!" said Fox, handing
Brother Colby a copy of the original SNES Star Fox manual. After
looking it
over three times, slowly, while glancing back at Fox
in-between each pause, he looked Fox straight in the eyes, and
Colby's eyes started to give off
a mysterious extremely bright
glow, which almost blinded Fox. Members of the lodge had the ability
to send light beams out of their
eyes, after mastering it for
centuries.
"Whoah, what's going on here?" asked
Fox.
"Initiation into our incredibly edible esoteric
eddifice of eliteness!" exclaimed Brother Colby, smiling. "DO
YOu SWEAR TO UPHOLD
OUR ANCIENT LAWS?" he asked.
"Not
if they'll make me go blind!" replied Fox. Brother Colby rolled
his eyes in disgust.
"WELL, YOU MUST UPHOLD THEM!"
he thundered. "Now, show me your devotion to cheese and all its
goodness and wholesomeness!" Fox held up a piece
of string
cheese.
"GOOD! Now say, BEHOLD, THE POWER, OF CHEESE!!
And mean it, with all your heart, fleas on your fur, and soul!"
said Brother Colby.
"I DO MEAN IT!" said Fox.
"Good. I shall give you a grand tour of the lodge, and I will
introduce you to all its members! Pretty much, all we do here is eat
cheese, MAGIC FETA cheese that is, that has been handed down from
generation to generation. However, you don't have to be part of our
bloodline to partake in the magic cheese. This lodge is open to
everyone! Anyway, that's basically all we do. Over years of eating
this cheese, which comes from the Great Magical Guru Goat of Lore, we
develop supernatural powers and discover our hidden talents. Mind
reading, telkenesis etc. But anyhoo, come along with me, young fox
dude, and I'll like, totally, like show you around and stuff! Heh!"
scoffed Brother Colby. Colby led Fox down a long narrow hallway, on
which the walls there were pictures of every kind of cheese you could
possibly imagine. Fox had fun at the lodge, eating cheese all day
from there onwards. Leon Powalski and Team Star Wolf were there, as
well. Leon had been a member for ten years. Fox and Leon were seated
next to each other. Leon was teasing a mouse.
"I think
I'll torture you for a while!" said Leon, dangling a piece of
scrumptious cheese held on a string in front of a tiny mouse. When
the mouse tried to get the cheese, he lifted up the string and
prevented him from getting so much as a nibble.
"Let ME
have some of that cheese!" said Fox. Leon did not let Fox have
any. Instead, he dangled the cheese in front of Fox, and tortured
him, instead of the small rodent.
Meanwhile, back at the Great Fox Mothership, the rest of the Star Fox crew began to worry.
MEANWHILE...AT THE GREAT FOX MOTHERSHIP:
Falco, Slippy, and Miyu Lynx were all seated
together, watching a documentary about bathroom remodeling. Their
attention suddenly
turned away from the program, when they all
began to simultaneously wonder where Fox Mcloud had gone to.
"Has Fox betrayed us AGAIN?" asked Falco. Miyu was quick to
respond.
"Naah, he's probably just off on a date with
Krystal! I miss Krystal when she's with Fox. I like to do girl things
with her, like shopping,
and things!" said Miyu. Slippy had
his own worry.
"What if General Peppy's hologram were to
show up, alerting us with a transmission of doom and danger? What if
Andross were to threaten
the lives of everyone in the entire Lylat
System again?" asked Slippy in a concerned inquisitive tone.
"That's the smartest thing you've ever said Slip, or should
I say Froggy! CALF FROG!" squawked Falco. Calf Frog was one of
Falco's favorite insults
towards Slippy.
"I'M NOT A
CALF FROG I'M A FULL GROWN BULL FROG! RIBBIT!" said Slippy.
Suddenly Miyu's cell phone music could be heard. She picked it up. It
was
Fox.
"Hi, Fox here. Uhh, apparently, I made a
tiny mistake. See, I'm a member of this lodge now, and they won't let
me be with you guys anymore! They
say that they don't care that I
miss you guys. But there's lots of cheese and merriment, so if you
guys wanted to like, retire from being pilots and join this cheese
lodge, that would be fine by me! I'm
not really that into flying
anymore anyway, I'm more of a Feta person now!"
"WHAT?
Next thing you know, he's gonna be bowing before the great Lord
Ghoudah!" said Falco.
"OKAY LISTEN FOX! This cheese
thing has been taken too far! We're STORMING that place, and if we
have to,
we'll capture you in a jar!". So it was then that
Fox, Miyu, and Slippy jumped into their cars, and drove to the lodge,
very quickly. They raced in and saw Fox, content and happy, gobbling
up a dish of aged Feta cheese with crackers, with a side order of
chocolate taffy.
"That's it!" shouted Falco. "We've
had enough! Give us back our friend Fox, or things will get rough!"
"NEVER! He is with us now! And there's nothing you can
do about it! We will destroy all of you!" said Brother Colby,
threatening the Star Fox team
with his evil blinding eyes.
"That's it! AIEEE! Things are gonna get rough!" said Falco.
And get rough they did. Falco shot plasma
beams at all the
decorations in the lodge, Miyu dropped mini-nova bombs everywhere,
and Slippy chased people with a laser gun. Grand Master Feta
Freak
cornered all of them.
"You are Fox's friends,
correct?" asked the Grand Master.
"Yes, but we're
not troublemakers!" said Slippy stupidly.
"Oh,
aren't you? I would say you definately ARE troublemakers. You've
almost destroyed our lodge! If Fox's friends would do this to
US,
then we certainly don't want a reckless rebellious animal like
Fox in our lodge! You can HAVE him back! He was eating way too much
cheese anyway!" stated
the Grand Master. Fox Mcloud ran up to
hug his teammates.
"YAY!" shouted the Star Fox team
in unison. The Star Fox team was back together again.
Back at the Great Fox Lodge....err..Mothership:
Fox was
reunited with the gang. They were all sitting on the couch again,
watching a show about 3D Saurian dinosaur models.
"Well,
it's good to be back. How about we start our own secret club of our
own?" asked Fox.
"Yeah. The We Think Fox Mcloud is a
Cheese Obsessed Doofus club!" said Falco jokingly.
"Huh?"
asked Fox.
"I'm just pullin' yer leg Fox. Cheese is
alright as a hobby. I spend time at
Admiral Z's House Of Cheese in
Downtown Corneria City a lot myself. You're my best friend! You would
totally be the leader of that club anyway!" said Falco.
"What was that lodge thing all about anyway? I mean what did
they do?" asked Slippy.
"They ate cheese! That's
about it! And they ate MAGICAL cheese that gave them magical
abilities!" said Fox.
"You have magical abilities?
Yeah right! What am I thinking about right now?" asked Falco.
"Gaining enough courage to ask Miyu out on a date at Admiral
Z's House O' Cheese?"
"YES! How did you know?"
asked Falco. Miyu grinned sheepishly.
"I could say yes to
that!" said Miyu. Falco was very happy.
"Fox, I
guess you're good for SOMETHIN'! I guess I should be thankful, cuz
that magic cheese that let you read minds just
scored me a hot
date with Miyu Lynx!" said Falco.
"That's not all
cheese can do for you! Watch this!" said Fox, staring at Falco.
His eyes began to emit blinding light rays.
"AAAAAAH!
WHAT Is THAT? Are you possessed by the sun god now?" asked
Falco.
"No, I'm just showing you the true power of cheese
and it's magnificent rays of light!" said Fox.
THE END
WELL, ACTUALLY,
TO BE CONTINUED LATER......
