Deep End
A/N One Shot – Inspired by Deep End by Birdy. MollCroft.
Someone told me that I want more
That I'll feel half empty, ripped and torn
They say there'll be plenty other hands to hold
Now I wish they'd told me long ago
'Tea? – MH'
'Is everything alright? When? -MH x'
'Now. – MH'
A knock came at Molly's door, she jumped a foot in the air. She was standing in the kitchen; she hadn't moved since she'd made a cup of tea over an hour ago. The half empty, cold cup she was cradling flew up in the air and landed on the floor. She took a breath and half smiled while she cussed herself for being so jumpy. Molly then frowned as she quickly wiped the mess up with a piece of kitchen roll. Mycroft had a key, he'd had one since Sherlock had been using her flat as a 'doss house' and they both knew it now so did he knock this time? She threw the wet piece in the bin and straightened her fluffy jumper and pyjama bottoms.
Ooh, I don't want this to break you
Ooh, but I've got no one else to talk to
Molly opened the door to a very stiff looking Mycroft. His lip twitched in response when their eyes met but the smile was forced. Something had upset the eldest Holmes brother and he was looking the most fragile Molly had seen. To anyone else, he looked every bit of The Ice Man, but to the trained eye he was holding on so tightly to that persona that it might snap any second.
"Come in then," Molly jerked her head a little and smiled, a soft smile that warmed his heart ever so slightly. "I'll boil the kettle."
He crossed the threshold and stood awkwardly in the front room. He'd been here a few times and he'd definitely never been so uncomfortable about it as he was now. Molly watched him and felt her stomach sink.
I don't know if you mean everything to me
And I wonder, can I give you what you need?
They hadn't discussed what this little arrangement was, but they both took the time to contact the other and meet up at least once a week when their schedules allowed for tea. Sometimes a walk in the park, other times a drive round the city. It was comfortable and they both indulged it. Sherlock had noticed and John had commented but they hadn't broached any sort of discussion on the topic. They were both happy with the set up and slowly getting closer, why change it?
Granted, he hadn't been in touch for a few weeks, but he was a busy man… right? She headed into the kitchen and busied herself with the cups and tried to hold back the swell of emotion building in her chest. Whatever is was Molly wasn't ready to let it go.
Don't want to find I've lost it all
Too scared to have no one to call
So can we just pretend
Molly came back into the living room to find Mycroft sat on the sofa, brief case and blazer discarded, his face resting in his hands, shoulders hunched. She couldn't keep up with him, he was so rigid a second again and now a broken heap, she just wanted to gather this man in her arms and hold him until everything was right again.
That we're not falling into the deep end?
She watched him a second longer, then placed his cup down on the coffee table. They had each other's tea preferences memorised now, even the variations depending on the meeting. Bad day at work? Extra sugar. Bad day at work but you have to go back shortly? Extra sugar and extra strong. A pleasant meeting with no burdens? Rare, but a little milk.
"….Mycroft?"
You've gone quiet, you don't call
And nothing's funny any more
Maybe there was more to the lack of contact these last few weeks… Work? Or maybe… Maybe- She didn't want to think of it. She shook her head as if the physical movement would expel the concern and make it disappear. They had both clung to the 'friendship' that had blossomed between them. And they clung to the stolen glances, increase in comfortable contact and shared moments just as much.
And I'll keep trying to help you heal
I'll stop your crying and dry your tears
Ooh, I don't want this to break you
Ooh, but I've got no one else to talk to
He cleared his throat, he sounded 'choked' almost. Like tears were trapped in his lungs. He looked up, his back straightened, but something reached his eyes and the tightness in his lips. His fingers interlaced as his arms rested on his knees. A deep breath from him as she held hers. This was it.
I don't know if you mean everything to me
And I wonder, can I give you what you need?
Don't want to find I've lost it all
Too scared to have no one to call
So can we just pretend?
"Mycroft, you're starting to worry me…" Molly couldn't quite keep the quake out of her voice. "Are you alright? Has something happened?" She stood next to him as he looked up at her. He was feeling as uncertain as she was. She placed her cup down on the book shelf next to her. She didn't trust herself to stop it from falling from her hands when he finally put her out of her misery.
"We need to talk. About this." He gave a small gesture with his hand towards them both and looked down. "I am not one for forming 'attachments'. And with that being said, it means I am not aware of how this is supposed to be handled." He cleared his throat again, this time seeming more confident. But then he looked up at Molly who had pulled her jumper over her hand and had it held to her mouth. It was stifling a sob, her eyes watered too. Not quite tears but it was that awful red eyes tell that happens when someone is about to let their heart loose. He frowned and his face filled with concern as his mouth opened and he licked his lips. A terrible feeling, he rarely felt, bubbled up inside - his heart broke to see her like this.
Ooh, how do we mend?
Ooh, I didn't choose to depend on you
It's out of our hands
Maybe it will work out in the end
Mycroft couldn't handle the pain he saw any more, he reached out and dragged Molly into his arms. The contact broke her resolve and she let out a sob and buried her face into his neck.
"Molly, please." He knew he was terribly stiff and awkward, he didn't have much practice at this kind of comfort, he just knew he didn't want to see her like this. He wanted to make it stop. "I- Molly…"
"If you've come to call off our… whatever this is then please do it quickly and leave." She sniffed as she tried to stand. "I'm so embarrassed-" He held her tightly against him.
"I never said I was trying to do anything of the sort, Molly. Quite the opposite in fact."
I don't know if you mean everything to me
And I wonder, can I give you what you need?
Don't want to find I've lost it all
Molly stilled. "What?"
Mycroft swallowed and adjusted, "Molly, what I came to say, before you got yourself worked up, was that I've become quite comfortable with our arrangement. I wouldn't be very happy if this were to have to stop." Molly was still silent, but he could hear her thinking in over drive. "These last few months have been a welcomed escape. I've found myself looking forward to seeing you and I would like to see you more frequently. And I'd like that be exclusive, no more dating fools." The last sentence got a quiet snort from Molly. "I hope I haven't misread the situation but I believe you feel the same."
Too scared to have no one to call
So can we just pretend?
"You came in looking like you'd killed someone, or were about to, or someone had died- You scared me to death!" Molly's heart was racing, and then more quietly, "I thought I was about to lose you." Molly gave a shuddered breath and sat up slightly to look him in the eyes, his face looked the most relax it had since he'd walked in and a small smile lined the corner of his lips. Molly gave a small sigh come laugh and looked down at his lips, she bit hers and moved just a little closer. He closed the gap and pressed his lips to hers, his hands reached for the back of her neck and the other around her waist. She pressed against him deepening the kiss.
Don't know if you mean everything to me
And I wonder, can I give you what you need?
Don't want to find I've lost it all
Too scared to have no one to call
So can we just pretend
That we're not falling into the deep end?
A/N Let me know what you think :)