A/N This is based off the song "Angel" by Sarah McLaughlin and is rather angsty. I don't own any of the Harry Potter characters or the song. They are the properties of the rightful owners, including, but not limited to Warner Bros, J.K. Rowling, and Sarah McLaughlin.
The War is over. Finally.
Voldemort is dead, and with him went my love. She was everything to me. Ginny Weasley is dead. She threw herself in front of a curse for me. It is my fault. Now, I spend all my time waiting for my second chance, for a break that would make everything all right again.
Every time I start to consider forgiving myself, I find some reason to feel not good enough. At the end of the day, it's so hard to sleep. I need a distraction, a release from the Hell I am currently living. I need a release, a beautiful release.
The memories of her seem to seep from my veins. They are everywhere.
I pray to whoever is out there listening to me, please, let me be empty, or weightless. Maybe, then, and then only, maybe I'll find peace. Maybe then.
I'm so tired of the straight line that my life has become. Every day is the same. What used to be exhilarating is now dull and pointless. I'm not living my life anymore. I'm simply going through the motions. But how would you know how that feels? How would you know how it feels to simply go through the motions of life? Every day is the same. I get up, think about getting something to eat, then I decide I'm not hungry. I go out, smile for the press, answer the questions in the countless interviews, smile for more pictures, think about eating again, and again decide not to, go to more social events where countless girls try to get my attention. How can they be so heartless? I don't want another girl. Everywhere I turn, there are the vultures at the Ministry trying to get me to work again and the thieves trying to steal my heart at my back. I don't understand why they would try to steal something that is so broken. I feel like there is a storm brewing inside of me, and it just keeps getting bigger. I just feel so sad and angry all the time. I hate this.
I keep telling so many lies. I have to make them up to cover up everything that I'm not. As far as they know, I'm a happy bachelor living in the best flat in England. They couldn't be more wrong. I hate everything about the continuum that my life has become.
It is easier to feel this sweet madness and glorious sadness than nothing. As I'm thinking this, I fall to my knees. I can't handle life without her anymore. It is nothing. Nothing matters anymore. Nothing but seeing her matters.
Today is the day. Today, I decide that this has gone on long enough. I lie down on our-my- bed and look up to the ceiling. I take a deep breath, and pick up the long knife I had set down next to me. I lift it up, and it comes crashing down. Soon, I will see my Ginny. I smile for the first time since then, and then, I know no more.
Suddenly, I feel something. It is glorious. For the first time since she died- strange, I don't feel my heart shredding anymore- I feel peace.
I see my angel, my Ginny.
"You're in the arms of your angel. May you find some comfort here."