Inquisitor Lavellan/Solas : Frost Bitten

-Right after she is awarded the Inquisitor title, Lavellan quickly retreats to Havens ruins to consider what being "Inquisitor" might mean (Solas Romance).

She fell to her knees, not regarding the freezing snow that was slowly melting in her armor.

"Why did I do this?" she asked, tears filling her eyes, "I'm not fit to lead, I'm cruel!"

I took a hesitant step forward to hear her quiet words; instinctively wanting to comfort her. I caught myself and continued to hide behind a snow covered tree trunk. If her followers could see her now, they'd know that she was just one single elf. An amazing elf, still, how much can one person handle? Cassandra and all of Lavellans' advisors were putting too much on her plate. It's only a matter of time before she completely breaks down from all the pressure. She cannot handle this. I am the only one who could have boar that mark, and lived. So how is it that she can be so strong knowing death faces her at every turn?

Slowly, Levellan got to her feet, staggering towards the ruins of Haven, "So many wasted lives. How am I supposed to kill a God when I cannot even protect my own followers?"

Unable to contain myself, nor my pride, "You won't have to kill a God alone. I'll always be here to help, in any way that I can, ma vhenan."

Lavellan whirled around, startled by my voice, "Solas?" she paused, wiping tears away from her cheeks as if she was trying to hide them, "What are you doing here?"

Lavellan clearly still mourned the loss of Haven. If only there was a way to help her see the good that she was doing. Maybe even inform her that all of this destruction was not her fault, but mine. My grand scheme. Would she understand if I confessed the truth? Looking into her beautiful blue eyes, I know she would.

"Dorian said you left in a hurry without anyone to accompany you and the thought made me somewhat nervous," I confessed.

"I'm not alone," gesturing towards her bow and arrow that was slung over her shoulder.

"Indeed, I was right to worry," I walked up to her with my hands crossed behind my back, "If I had not of followed you, you would be out here crying, all alone."

"I'm not crying," she said matter of factly.

I reached over and held her cheek in my hand, "Is that so?"

Her eyes widened at my touch, "Y-yes."

"Then why is your cheek wet?"

She blushed and looked away from me, clearly deep in thought, "They want me lead the Inquisition."

I smiled, "Of course they do. You're the best possible leader. I know you will lead us to victory against this 'Corypheus.'"

Gesturing towards Haven with her marked hand, she softly asked, "How can I lead them with all of this blood on my hands? Corypheus only destroyed Haven because of this cursed mark." She turned completely around and stared at the ruins of Haven's Tavern, lost in thought.

"Vhenan -"

"No!" she spun on her heels to look me directly in the eyes, "How could I live with anymore blood on my hands? As long as I live, Corypheus will never stop coming for me or this mark. He'll use my clan against me. And I'm sure he won't stop there! You, Varric, Dorian, Cole, Sera! He'll take everything from me!"

She fell to her knees again, ragged sobs breaking through her lips.

I fell beside her, wrapping my arms around her. So strong, everyday. Watching her fall apart like this was tearing my soul apart.

"Ir abelas, ma vhenan. Calm yourself," sobs still ripping out of her body causing her whole body to shake, "We will endure, as will you. I will never leave you."

Slowly, she started to regain her composure, "May the Dread Wolf take him."

"I will," I whispered, forgetting for a split second that she was completely unaware of my plight. My eyes shot up to hers to see if she had heard.

She sighed and wiped all of her tears off of her face, unaware of what I had said.

"Ir abelas, Solas, I'm okay now. I suppose the stress, and fear, of leading the Inquisition just caught up to me today," she said, looking back up at me, "I didn't mean to worry you."

Relieved, I helped us both up to our feet. No one so beautiful or strong should cry. Seeing her cry compares to the sights I saw when I created the Veil. I will tell her then. I cannot lie to the only one I will ever love, my other half. She will understand. I know she will.

Lost in the depths of her eyes she smiled and said, "Are you okay?"

"As long as you're by my side, yes." I smiled back at her.

I leaned down and kissed her on the forehead, "Let's go home, yes?"

She smiled and took me by the hand, "Yes, let's go. I think my armor is stuck to my skin, I'm so cold."

I wrapped my arm around her shoulder, pulling her closer to my body, "That's what you get for sitting in the cold snow for hours. How about a hot bath when we return to Skyhold?"

She giggled, "You just want to see me naked."

"I meant you, alone. However, now you've teased me with the image, now you must deliver," I laughed.

Walking back to Skyhold with her like this made me feel as if I was normal, even for just a moment. And I will forever love her, and treasure her, even if it's just for this one moment. Smiling at me, hearing her laugh, made every sin I committed worth it. For if I had of released the Evanuris, they would have tainted this beautiful creature and I would never have met her. Or perhaps, even worse, they would never of let me see her smile.