By Request
"What am I supposed to do with it?"
Minerva made a disgusted face. "He is not an it. He happens to have a name."
"I hardly think that watching him is-"
"It's thirty minutes, forty five at the most."
The young wizard opened his mouth to argue but she quickly took his opportunity away.
"I know that you are hurting over Lily Severus, we all are," she said in a gentle voice. "However everyone else is doing their part to help with Harry."
"This castle is not the place for a baby," he replied, ignoring her mention of Lily completely.
"Perhaps not. Regardless here is where he will stay for the next few days. Now that being said, it will not kill you to watch Harry for me."
Severus glanced at the toddler who was fast asleep in his crib.
"It may," he replied dryly.
Minerva rolled her eyes as she headed for the door. "Do it as a favor to Lily then."
Severus felt his throat go dry at her words.
"I'll be back shortly. If he wakes he'll need his nappy changed as well as a bottle."
"Now just a minute," Severus said as she opened the door. "You never said –"
"You'll be fine," she promised with a smile. She closed the door behind her causing Severus to hold his breath in fear that it would wake the child.
Only when the toddler continued to sleep peacefully did he breathe again.
He walked across the room and gazed down at the sleeping child. The scar on his forehead still looked fresh.
Without giving his actions a thought, Severus gently reached down and allowed his fingers to graze the red lightning bolt.
Since the child had entered the castle two days prior, Severus had done everything in his power to avoid him. Part of him felt guilty. Guilty that he had gone to the house to see the horror for himself and in dealing with his own grief had ignored the sobbing child completely. And part of him couldn't bring himself to look in his eyes- her eyes.
He quickly pulled his hand back at the child stirred.
Slowly the child's eyes opened.
Severus felt the air escape his lungs as the child looked up at him, their eyes locking for a moment. Harry made soft baby noises as he reached his arms up at Severus.
Severus held the boy's stare for a moment, ignoring his attempt to grab up at him before suddenly remembering what Minerva had said.
He reached down and awkwardly picked up the child.
Carefully he placed him on the changing table that Minerva had transfigured in his parlor.
"I don't suppose you know how to do this do you?" He asked the boy as he looked down at the supplies he had been left.
The soft baby gibberish continued.
Severus scowled at the idea of changing the child. He was sure that there was a spell that would do the task for him but having never had a desire to have children, he had never paid attention to such spells.
Carefully he removed the child's small pants. He had expected doing so to be near impossible but surprisingly the boy stayed perfectly still.
He looked down at the boy's soiled nappy. He quickly weighed his options and then without giving his actions a second thought he pointed his wand at the child causing his nappy to clean itself. He re-clothed the child carefully. He was sure that Minerva wouldn't approve of what he had done but he didn't care. He wasn't about to attempt to change the child the muggle way. He was sure that doing so would only end is disaster.
Harry smiled brightly up at him clearly happy to be clean.
Severus awkwardly picked the child up once more before carrying him across the room. He picked up the bottle that Minerva had left and sat down in his armchair.
Sadly there was no spell that would feed the child for him.
He attempted to hold the bottle but Harry quickly took over, taking the bottle into his own hands as he lay back on Severus' arm starring up at the man.
"I suppose you are wondering why I just let you cry in your crib when I was at your house," Severus said in an annoyed tone. He was feeling judged by a toddler and although he knew it was ridiculous and that there was no way this child remembered him specifically he couldn't help it.
"I have no excuse for my actions except to say that I was not prepared for what I saw." Snape sighed softly as he re-thought his words. "Of course I knew what had happened before I walked in. Of course I did, everyone did. I suppose I didn't believe it though. I suppose I truly believed it wasn't true until I actually saw it."
He felt a lump grow in his throat as he quickly swallowed it. He had done his weeping over the situation- he wouldn't allow it to happen again.
"It sounds like a fabrication considering how upset you were, but I hardly noticed you at all. I hardly noticed anything aside from her."
Harry blinked as he continued to suck down his bottle.
"I felt as though I should explain that though," Severus continued. He suddenly felt foolish for sharing his thoughts with the child. His only solace was that being unable to speak he knew that no one else would ever find out.
He cleared his throat attempting to eliminate the dry feeling it had been overcome with.
"I loved her dearly," he said after a moment. "It is quite sad that you will grow up without knowing her as she would have been a wonderful mother."
He could feel the tears behind his eyes begging to fall and blinked rapidly in an attempt to stop them.
He was about to tell the small child in his arms more about the mother he would never know when there was a soft knock on his door before it opened revealing Minerva.
"I see your both still alive," she said sarcastically.
"Indeed," Severus replied in a dry voice.
"I completed the task quicker than I thought I would," she explained as she crossed the room and gently took the child from his arms. "Thank you for watching Harry for me."
"I hope you don't think that this will be a recurring favor. As I said before this castle is no place for a baby and I have work to do. I am not here as a built in nanny." The words were those of annoyance but in reality he was feeling anything but.
"Trust me when I say that it will not happen again Severus."
She made a disapproving face at him before walking out of the door; seconds later the child's things that she had transfigured quickly switched back to their original objects.
Severus sighed softly to himself as he closed his eyes attempting to get his emotions under control. He couldn't help but feel like in holding her son he had held Lily one last time.
"I will keep him safe for you," he promised in a whisper. "Always."