Ethan looked worried, sitting on the stairs in his "Holby Primary" school jumper and black trousers, waiting for someone to help him tie his laces. He held his lunchbox in both hands, staring at the dinosaur print on the top and stroked the big T-rex.
His foster mum came rushing down the stairs, neatly dodging his huddled frame at the last second and answering the door; He hadn't even heard the knocking or he would have answered it himself. He was six after all – a big boy now.
One of the older children, Robyn, came in, saying she'd missed the bus and his foster mum sighed and shook her head, smiling softly and offering to give her a lift to the big school once she'd dropped the "littluns".
He didn't like the rush of Monday mornings and everyone had forgotten about his laces. He leant down pathetically, placing his lunchbox on the floor and tried his best to tie them himself and not disturb anyone in their preparation for school.
"Hey little 'un"
Ethan looked up to see where the voice had come from and saw that the oldest one, Lofty, was standing in front of him. He dropped to his knees in front of Ethan and leant towards him.
"D'you want some help with that?"
Ethan nodded gratefully and Lofty bent down further, niftily tying his laces for him.
"Hey! That's my job!" an indignated Cal shouted, running towards his little brother to "protect" him.
Cal was always trying to protect his little brother, ever since they'd come into care two years ago. Lofty looked ashamedly down at the floor at the thought of forgetting that Cal liked to do it.
"I'm so-"he began before Iain, Lofty's twin jumped in, grabbing Cal from behind.
"Hello you!" he said excitedly, distracting Cal from the situation, picking him up and whirling him around. "Do you want to help me get everyone into the minibus? You can have a window seat if you want!"
His brother momentarily forgotten, Cal agreed excitedly and ran off to get his schoolbag.
Lofty crouched down in front of Ethan once more, lifting the small boy's chin with one hand and looking into his nervous eyes.
"Are you okay?" he asked, concern creeping into his voice as his deep green eyes met with the small boy's crystal grey ones.
"Y-yes, are you okay?" Ethan replied
"I'm dandy, Ethan, just dandy" Lofty said with a smile, chucking him under the chin and wandering into the kitchen to help his foster mum get the rest of the kids into the minibus.
Ethan was glad Lofty had tied his laces for him: Cal wasn't very good at it really.
In the minibus, Cal had taken the previously promised window seat, but had insisted he still sit next to his brother who had seemed even more nervous than before. Cal clearly knew what was wrong with Ethan, but neither of them would tell anyone what it was and swore that "everything was okay", even when Lofty had given Ethan a side-hug and Iain had offered them each a lollipop for when they got in from school. Neither of them was going to tell. They'd promised that they wouldn't.
On arriving at Holby mixed infants, Lofty walked them through the gates and continued pestering Ethan over his newfound anxiety.
"Have you got a test?"
Nothing.
"Did you forget your lunch?"
Wordlessly, Ethan waved his dinosaur lunchbox in Lofty's direction and continued to stare straight ahead, his lips clenched tightly together. Cal also remained silent on Ethan's other side, his fists tightly clenched.
Lofty leant forwards and hugged Ethan in one arm, ruffling Cal's hair with his empty hand. "Well you two have fun, I'll see you after school – don't worry I'll beg two lollipops off Iain anyway, so you have something to look forward to" He beamed at them and leant forward for another hug "Don't look so sad you two, come on cheer up it's only school".
Both Cal and Ethan flashed him brief smiles before linking hands and walking nervously through the gates. Lofty shook his head; he'd never understand just what it was that went on between those two – it was like they were telepathic or something.
"Cal?" Ethan whimpered.
"Yeah?"
"You won't let him get me today, will you?"
"I told you, if Jacob comes anywhere near you today, he won't get away!" Cal said, threatening the air in front of him as he spat the last few words.
The play monitor rang the big bell and Cal hugged Ethan tightly before walking along to his own classroom.
All throughout morning lessons, Ethan sat nervous and waiting. In maths, his sums were a blurry mess as his mind wandered. He recited his and Cal's meeting place over and over in his head, so he wouldn't forget, while praying that Cal wouldn't get boisterous and be kept in late.
All the while, Jacob kicked the back of Ethan's chair, making him rock back and forth as one of the legs worked its way loose.
"Ignore him" Lily whispered, holding Ethan's hand, but Jacob just started to kick the back of her chair too, which only made it worse.
By the time the break-time bell rang, Ethan thought he couldn't use his legs anymore, them having been made numb from all the kicking. Jacob was the first out to play having gotten 100% on his spelling test and Ethan made sure he was the last as Lily promised to make sure Jacob had gone before Ethan left the classroom, before running off to join Zoe and Louise.
As soon as he was out of the classroom, Ethan ran to his and Cal's meeting spot behind the Wendy house, but somehow his laces had come undone and he tripped.
He landed hard on the playground and tears erupted as he lay on the floor. All of a sudden, Jacob grabbed his collar and pulled him up, dragging him over to a tree, hidden from view of the teachers on duty.
Ethan cried out, but Jacob clamped a hand over his mouth, silencing him before he drew attention to them.
"You told your brother, I know you did" Jacob snarled, pushing Ethan into the dirt and kicking his legs.
"No I didn't, I promise I didn't" Ethan wailed, tears streaming down his face into the mud.
"I don't care even if you did" Jacob spat, kicking Ethan again. "You're just a nasty care kid and no one would believe you anyway! Your brother doesn't even love you!"
"Yes he does" Ethan pleaded. If Jacob was right, Ethan would have no one. No, Cal must love him. He always wanted to tie his laces and give him his lunchbox and sit next to him, and he used to try to protect him from his Uncle, even if it did get them hurt more. But if he did love him, why wasn't he saving him?
"No he doesn't, stop crying I hate you!" Jacob yelled, "No one loves care kids!"
He ended this last statement with a kick to Ethan's ribs, before being violently pulled away from him.
"Get off my brother!" Cal shrieked, throwing Jacob on the floor, fuelled by what could only have been adrenaline.
The boys sat in Miss Beauchamp's office – Jacob on a chair, and Ethan and Cal on a sofa. Mr Hide sat, cleaning Ethan's face up from where he'd contracted a bloody nose as a result of Jacob's forceful shove. Cal held his brother's hand, tears in his eyes as the shock of the fight with Jacob wore off.
Cal had seen his brother being dragged off by Jacob and had run to get Mr Hide, before chasing after the bully and pulling him away from Ethan.
It had been weird, he thought, he'd had a memory of his Uncle while he was fighting Jacob, and it felt like he was fighting his Uncle. He didn't understand and it upset him. The "fight" had ended with Jacob pushing a crying Cal over and being taken off the school field by a very angry Mr Keogh, shouting that he shouldn't hurt other little boys, and he shouldn't hurt big boys either.
Now, their foster mum came into the room, looking worried.
"Ah Miss Freeman" Miss Beauchamp greeted her with a smile, before turning to the two boys and explaining the situation.
Their foster mum had used to work at the school until she fostered them, so she knew Miss Beauchamp well.
"Ah okay" their foster mum said understandingly "Do you mind if I take them home now?"
"No I think Cal could benefit with some time to calm down and Ethan could do with a rest" Miss Beauchamp replied, as Rita crouched down in front of the two of them.
"Hey little guys" she said, smiling.
"Am I in trouble?" Cal asked, worried, tensing up out of previously-learned instinct that had never left him.
"Of course you aren't" she answered, resting her hand on his shoulder and stroking his face gently "You were trying to protect Ethan, that wasn't bad". He relaxed and she turned to Ethan.
"You were both very brave" she assured them as they stood, each taking a hand, Ethan's nose now with a plaster resting on it. She tried hard not to glare at the third boy in the room and instead rested her weary eyes on Miss Beauchamp.
"Thank you for coming in Miss Freeman" Connie smiled "I know how busy you've been lately"
"That's alright, you must come over again" Rita replied "I'll text you" and Miss Beauchamp nodded in return before turning to Jacob.
Jacob's dad came through the door, looking embarrassed and mildly annoyed, as Cal and Ethan were leaving with their foster mum and they both shied away from their bully's dad.
"It's okay boys" Rita whispered and they walked to the minibus together.
"Rita" Ethan asked later that night as she was tucking him in (after Cal had of course)
"Yes honey?" she asked, passing him his teddy.
He took it gratefully. "Are care kids loved?"
Rita looked defensively over him. "Of course they are, I love all of you as if you were my own, if anything happened to you, I'd be devastated"
He smiled and reached up as she hugged him and ruffled his hair. She crouched down by the side of his bed, "If anyone ever tells you you're not loved again, they're very very wrong"
"Okay" he said "Goodnight"
"Goodnight, sweet dreams" she replied, walking out and turning his light off.
She stood in the dark for a moment, watching his huddled figure burrow down into bed and wondered how anyone could ever tell such a small boy they weren't loved.
She shook her head and left, leaving the door slightly ajar and bumped into Lofty in the hall.
He smiled at her and she smiled back at him.
"Don't stay up too late" she whispered, tutting at the stack of unfinished homework under his arm.
"I'll try not to" he said and walked down the corridor to his little room at the end of the corridor and opening the door quietly.
She thought for he millionth time about the children's pasts and sighed, shaking the sadness from her head with thoughts of how she was changing that, giving them a better future than the past them could ever have imagined.
She turned from Ethan's door and walked quietly down the stairs to the kitchen, taking her phone off the side. She had someone she needed to text after all.