Sam and Cat had been together for quite a while, and that of course had led to many difficulties. When they first met Sam was the tough tomboy that didn't seem to be able to change or soften, but she eventually did after spending such a long time with her lover Cat. Cat was the completely opposite of Sam, she was the innocent airy bubbly redhead that wished nothing but the best for everyone around her, even the ones who might not have liked her as much as she liked them. Sam was a cut out from pretty much the rest of Cat's social circle. Sam loved her endlessly, and that made her change. She softened up for Cat not because she had to, but because she wanted to. She wanted to do anything for Cat and be the best she could possibly be for Cat. Cat was such a huge blessing for Sam and so was Sam to Cat. Cat could finally feel safe and loved by someone else than her Nona, because most of her friends was only with her because they had to due to school. Her parents were always too busy with her mental ill brother who had special needs, and that always left Cat broken and teared apart mentally. It was here Sam picked her up again and made her stronger and more independent when it came to other people besides Sam.
Cat was so sensitive easily to tears, which meant Sam would have to be more patient and gentle about Cat, and she was. Cat for that sake changed as well, she became stronger both mentally and in her opinions. Cat became more strong-minded and conscious of everything around her. Never as dominant as Sam, but she was more confident and open minded to say how she really feel about certain thing. Which led us to their fights. Way back then when they met, Cat would be very humble, agree with Sam in everything, but now she had a word for everything. Sam liked that she didn't have to really pretend to be so gentle against Cat, but she had so strong feelings for Cat in the style of love.
Of course, they didn't change each other completely from head to toe. They wasn't unrecognizable for others or each other at any moment. They just simply had an influence on each other that lead to them gaining a bigger and more expanded perspective on different things and situations. Overall, it made them understand eachother more in some situations.
However, there were the fights. The fights before night were the worst ones and were those that showed off how soft Sam had become. She would have these nightmares every single time, she would scream, sweat and not being able to find rest. Yeah, she could get rid of these nightmares by just agreeing with Cat during the fights and let it all go, but Sam is still Sam, Sam is wild, strong opinioned, violent and what so ever. So letting Cat win not every time wouldn't be right for her, for her nature.
You always knew when they had a fight because they would sleep in separate beds and not share one as usual. There would be a little lack of space when they slept together but they blended into eachother and in that way made it work. They both always had a hard time falling to sleep when they didn't sleep together. It didn't matter if they have had a fight, they would always have a hard time falling asleep when they were not together, when they are not tangled in each other's arms and legs cuddling to sleep.
A night after a fight those nightmares came and she knew it, she expected them. They were rare though, the fights were rare but they were there and they were only getting more normal throughout the years. Sam was twisting, screaming and close to tears. She wished she could just let it all go, just say fuck it all, just let Cat have it all, but man these times were hard and she just couldn't. The nightmares awakened not only Sam, but also Cat. Cat knew what was going on, she always knew, but she also knew Sam, and how she had always preferred dealing with her problems all by herself. Though it was hard for Cat, knowing exactly what was happening to Sam but not having the courage to do something. It was even harder for her knowing that she might have been a part of the blonde girl's frustration and lack of peace.
This night Cat decided to do something, to change things between them because she knew that it would only get worse. As soon as she awakened, she hesitated until she saw Sam sit up in her bed through the dark, and decided to take action. She walked slowly and very carefully from her own bed and into Sam's. She crawled into the covers next to Sam as she discovered that Sam was crying. Despite Sam's weak protest of Cat getting into the bed with her, Cat snuggled up against Sam and laid Sam's head on her shoulder letting her cry out even harder feeling her tears soak her pajamas. Without a word, she let Sam know that everything was okay by caressing her and stroking her hair. Cat started to wipe away her tears as she felt herself getting close to breaking into tears herself. Even though Sam was so disturbed by her nightmare, she was hypnotized by Cat's touch; she welcomed the contact as she let out a sight, snuggled closer into Cat's neck and inhaled Cat's scent. Sam enjoyed Cat's affection and suddenly Cat started to hum very softly to put Sam at ease. The words became clearer and she could then identify the words:
"She's all laid up in bed with a broken heart,
While I'm drinking jack all alone in my local bar,
And we don't know how,
How we got into this mad situation,
Only doing things out of frustration
Trying to make it work but man these times are hard"
Cat remembered her Nona doing this to her for a long time even up her teenage years when she was sad whether it was family or relationship related. She found such comfort in her Nona's singing, and how she always sung a song that described her situation one hundred percent. Cat wanted to be that person to Sam, to be that good person.
Sam was calm after hearing Cat sing. Even after all these years she had never once heard Cat sing, not even once. She thought it was beautiful, and she couldn't help herself from smiling, until she recalled the nightmare that haunted her.
"I dreamed you left me, just like everyone else like Carl…" Sam whispered without being able to get that last word out properly. Her best friend had left her; she went to Italy just like that. Sam didn't even feel like she ever said goodbye to her properly. She felt like all the years she has spend with Carly and their time on ICarly was just a dream. It was so way back in the presence that thinking about it made her question if it actually ever happened, but it did. She remembered it every time she saw Carly's number on her phone. She hadn't talked to her since she left Seattle and met Cat in California. Carly was her whole family, Spencer, Gibby, T-bo and Freddy along. They all disappeared out of her life as soon as Carly did. She was her source for happiness, later Cat was.
Cat sighed.
"I would never ever leave you, not for anything, I love you too much for that, and I don't want to have it any other way". Sam felt a strange kind of relieve, it was nic but strange. She just needed to hear that from Cat, she needed to hear that from Cat every single time they had a fight. In reality Sam was just scared to be abandoned by another human being like her own mother, sister and best friend. She didn't need another failure from people she loved.
"I love you so much kid, like you have no idea" Sam said as she sat up cupping Cat's cheek as she looked her deep in the eyes as she said "you really have no idea". Cat giggled shyly to Sam and placed a light kiss on Sam's lips
"I love you too Sam, so so so much" Cat replied.
"I'm so sorry Cat, I never want to put on a fight, I never want to have fight with you ever again. I want us to start over again like to when we met. You know with the love we have now of course, but not only as lovers, but also as best friends. I feel like that's where we failed, we also need to be each other best friends".
Cat realized that Sam found such calm in the singing just like she always did and decided to end her song before they eventually slowly drifted off to sleep both feeling loved and warm in each other's arms.
"Trying to make it work but man these times are hard
But we're gonna start by
Drinking old cheap bottles of wine,
Sit talking up all night,
Saying things we haven't for a while
A while, yeah,
We're smiling but we're close to tears,
Even after all these years,
We just now got the feeling that we're meeting for the first time"
