WHAT. THE. F-

CHAPTER 1

(A/N) CONTAINS SWAIRING AND VIOLENCE AND LOTS OF OTHER STUFF BUT NO LEMONS!

Ok, if you don't like the fact that i am going to have a lot of bashing and swearing and gay couples then LEAVE! You don't have to read this!

I DO NOT OWN NARUTO ALLTHOUGH I WISH I COULD! ALL I OWN IS THE PLOT (KINDA WELL, WHATEVER I CHANGE FROM CANNON I OWN) AND ALL OC'S!

IF I MAKE A REFRENCE TO ANYTHING I CAN BET YOU I DON'T OWN IT BUT NOT AN AVTUAL BET BECOUSE SOME PEOPLE TAKE THAT SIRIOSLY!

I hope I can update frequently, but if I can't don't kill me!

Oh, and I'm English, and I was raised in England, I live in England, so when I start making fun of England, which at some point I probably will, don't go shouting at me!

AU'S!

AU'S EVERYWAIER

Today was not a good day.

First my phone, my new just got it yesterday, the phone got stolen. BLOODY BRILIANT. Then my best friend, apparently, thought it was ok to make out with my boyfriend in my fucking bedroom. That's right! Did the stupid bitch not know what self preservation was!? Then I found out that granny died.

MY FUCKIN' GRANDMOTHER DIED.

What the fuck?! Douse everything want to just fuck me over today! GOD FUCKIN DAM'. Why?

It didn't seem fair, it didn't seem real. But what sought of fucked up dream would that be? Oh hey your granny is dead and FUCK YOU, ha just kidding it only a dream?! But no, it wasn't a dream. It was life. WELL THAT'S BULLSHIT!

In my rage induced stupidity, I didn't see the green light.

Luckily for me, I didn't feel anything. Just WUSH and I was gone, hit by a car, killed at 16.

FUCKIN' DANDDY!

Now, I expected that to be it, POFF, I'm gone. But no. I was just floating, it actually felt kinda nice. My eyes were closed, I didn't want to admit it. I would never admit it! I can't believe I was wrong, that an afterlife did exist.

FUCK! I admitted it!

I opened my eyes, only to be met with a void of nothingness. No sound. No light. No, nothing'.

Suddenly I felt like she was being compressed. Like I was being pushed threw a small tube. The pain was excruciating. I let out a pained cry. My senses seemed foreign to me. I could vaguely hear voices, but they were drowned out.

And then, there was light.

The pain stopped.

Time seemed to slow down.

The cries of an infant rang out in the air.

My eyes snapped open, with a horrified yelp I realized those were my cries. I looked around with wide, startled eyes. Looking down at myself, I saw a body that was defiantly not mine, but that of a new born baby. I was rapped in a thick, fluffy pink blanket.

I suddenly felt exhausted, like I had run a marathon or something. Black spots danced across my vision, like they were taunting me.

Fuckin' black spots.

I looked up to see the face of a woman, she was clearly exhausted. She had long red hair that was short and spiked around her head. Oh, she has the lesbian haircut, didn't I have that for a while when I was 13? I ROCKED THAT LOOK! She had sparkling purple eyes that seemed to look straight into your soul. It wasn't unnerving, like I knew it would be, but warm, safe and it made me feel happy.

A man was leaning over her shoulder the first thing that I noticed about him, other than him being male - derh, was his silver hair, that seemed to stick up in every direction. And it wasn't just that normal silver hair, which was basically white like in most of the anime I had watched, his hair looked like it had been made out of silver, it shined and sparkled, it looked inviting. He had warm auburn eyes and round glasses. All in all, he looked like a sliver haired, pal James Potter. And not that weird thing they used on the move, he looked like book James. He looked like a reincarnation, it was uncanny.

Then it hit me.

REINCARNATION!

OH SHIT! I'D BEING REINCARNATED!

It was at that the dark spots consumed my vision and my thoughts turned to mush.

The next thing my brain could comprehend was a feeling of warmth. Not that horrid humid warmth, but a nice safe, relaxed warmth. I felt much more comfortable than I had at any other point in my short, miserable life, and I couldn't understand why today felt different than any other day, after all today I would go to school like any other day and-

Oh. I died.

Shit.

Then got reincarnated.

Double shit.

FUCK THAT TRIPPLE SHIT!

I was happy (ish) with my life! And now I would never see my family again! I felt the cold sensation of loneliness creep into my heart, but I pushed it down, letting the warmth cover me.

It surprised me when I didn't forget everything. That the infant memory forced on me hadn't overloaded. Maybe that was how reincarnation worked. Maybe it just let me remember to fuck with me.

Opening my eyes and looking around the room, I could see that this life wasn't going to be as good as the last. I could see the rotting bark that they had used to build walls, the door had been boarded off and a small cot sat in the corner of the room. That must have been where my 'parents' slept.

I felt a pang of sympathy for them. They clearly didn't have a good life.

I could see my limbs begin to wave in the air, demanding attention. It was so embarrassing. I couldn't control myself, I couldn't help but cry out in a demand of acknowledgement. A face appeared in my vision. It was my new 'dad'. It felt wrong to say it, like I was betraying my original parents, something I could never do.

"What's wrong? Oh, it's ok! Everything is fine, nothing bad is going to happen!" His voice was shaky- he was lying. What would he lie about though? That nothing bad was going to happen? WAS something bad going to happen?!

Suspension clouded my mind, what the fuck was going on?

'Dad' closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"You can't need your diaper changing, I did that 5 minutes ago." I cringed at the words, so embarrassing.

"Maybe you hungry?" My stomach growled. "I'm sorry, princess, love I can't feed you yet. Mommy's not back yet, and if I leave..."

It didn't feel right, anything. The hair color, the eye color, any of it. Normal people don't have those sorts of hair and eye color without contacts or hair dye, something my 'parents' clearly couldn't afford. Frear clouded my mind, overpowering the suspension.

If 'dad' was in danger just by leaving the house, then what would happen to 'mom'? WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON ANYWAY!

The door was slammed open. 'Dad' immediately took me in his arms, holding me close, like he was afraid to let go. His grip loosened slightly when he saw that it was 'mom' standing in the door.

"ITS THEM!"

The words made my dad's grip on me tighten.

WHO THE FUCK ARE 'THEM'!?

"Take Sky and go!" Dad said, his eyes filled with tears. So Sky was my new name?

"NO! You know I'll be able to hold them off longer than you! You know I'm stronger than you! Even with your Kakki Genkai." Mom said. Wait... Kakki Genkai?

Dad looked ready to argue, but the glare mom sent him was enough to shut him up.

"I'll take her to the leaf Shinobi!" Leaf Shinobi? I swear I know that from somewhere. But where?

NO FUCKING WA-

BOOM!

SHIT! That sounded close!

Dad ran out the now open door. He quickly looked back. "I will always love you! ALWAYS!"

"JUST GO THEY WILL BE HERE SOON!"

Dad turned away from mum, and ran. I don't know how long we ran, 'we' being my dad, and him carrying me, but it felt like days, and we didn't stop once.

But soon I saw the first piece of concrete i had since my death. A giant wall stood in front of us, a giant door-looking-thing in the center, one guard on each side. Dad wobbled up to one of the guards, both of them instantly become on gaurd.

Dad put a hand up. "Please! Please, I just s-seek refuge!"

The guards looked at each other, they share a look. "I'm sorry, sir. We have orders from the Hokage himself that we can't on ANY circumstances, let anyone through." The one on the left side, right nodded in agreement. Dad's eyes began to water, a horrified expression on his face. "C-can you a-at least let my daughter through? P-please, I beg you! S-she'll die! I-i'll never set foot near the village again! Please!"

Wright sent a pointed look at leftie, but was only ignored. "I'm sorry, sir. But we simply can't s-"

"PLEASE! Do you have children!? If you do, you'll know I would do anything for my daughter, sky!"

The guards looked down, looks like dad hit their weak spot.

"Fine! Your daughter may enter! But you may not." Dad gave him the happiest grin I've ever seen, and handed me to the guard on the right. "Remember me Sky, please and remember that, I... That I love you. More than life itself!" He smiled at me, before walking back into the dam' forest we had come out of.

I felt like crying, I felt like breaking something. I felt anger, sadness, Frear and yet I also felt... Nothing, numb, empty. I wanted to scream at him to come back, but I knew it would only come out it sobbs, broken, pained, sobs.

I didn't think I cared about them, at first. That they weren't my real parents, so it didn't matter.

Guess I had grown attached, even though I didn't really know them, it still hurt like it would to see any parent run for what would be their inevitable demise. And I knew it would never stop hurting, like any parents' death would. It would always be there, just like the death of a friend would. And it would either eat at you until you not, well you, or time would do its magic, and my heart would learn to ignore the pain, then forget it was ever there.

But somewhere, the pain would still linger. Just like with granny.

The man who dad gave me too had short, brown hair, and green eyes. He had tanned skin and a series expression. But what got my attention the most was the fact that he wore a Hitai-ate. And it looked just like the ones given to the Ninja (or Shinobi) on one of the anime I had been watching before I died. And I froze in shock when I realized that I had been reincarnated into it.

I had been reincarnated into the world of Naruto. A world war the life expectancy of its inhibitors ranges from 12 to 90.

FUCKIN' FUCKATY FUCK BULLSHIT BLOODY HELL MERLINS LEFT TESTICAL STYX OH FUCKIN' GOD SHIT!