"Think of it this way… it'll be like having a doll to dress up and play with", Maritza argued. Flaca still wasn't interested.
"I never played with dolls growing up", she said with a grin.
"And maybe that's why you ended up in prison, chica", Maritza said and playfully punched her girlfriend's arm as they were walking in the mall.
"Hello, you ended up in prison too. But that was for playing with boy toys, right?", Flaca said and laughed. Maritza shot her a pretend angry look, but giggled too.
Six months after getting released, the two were living with Flaca's mom. Theresa wasn't really supportive of their relationship at first, but since the girls had emerging careers as YouTubers, she thought it would be best not to break them up. Secretly she was glad her daughter had a companion and that she seemed to be on the right path again. She even stopped dressing in black clothing and was more energetic and helpful around the house. Theresa had to admit Maritza's effect on her daughter was really remarkable.
The two girls have gone for television appearances and their videos have still been getting plenty of hits. This has sustained them for the time being and their career is looking to take off.
For the last few weeks, Maritza's been talking kids. Yes, she loved her daughter and has been spending all her free time with Juliana, but she wanted another baby. Soon. Flaca was shocked when her tiny girlfriend brought the topic up whilst having dinner one night.
"Let's make a baby", she said and grabbed Flaca's hand from across the table.
" What?", was all Flaca could come up with after about seventy seconds of silence.
Since that day, babies was all Maritza could talk about.
Our baby would be so cute…
Our baby will be tall like you…
Our baby…
Our baby…
At some point, Flaca told her that as two women, the baby will technically only use one's egg.
Even for this Maritza had an answer. "We could use yours and I can carry it, so in a way, it'll be like both of us played a part".
Now, on a chilly Saturday morning, loitering around in a mall, this is still the only thing the little Latina could talk about.
"Why don't you want a baby? Is it me? Do you think I'm a bad mother?", Maritza asked as the pair walked into a shoe store.
"No! Fuck no. You're a great mother", the taller girl said and put her arm around Maritza.
"Then why not? We have like, enough money to move out of your mom's house and plus, if we decide to take the Dubai job, we could be set for at least two years".
"It's not about money", Flaca said gently, almost in a whisper.
Maritza was exasperated. She hated how Flaca could just shoot things down but not give reasons.
The rest of their outing was pretty quiet. Flaca spoke on the the Uber ride home.
"It's me. I'm not ready to be someone's mom".
Maritza looked up from her phone's screen and straight into Flaca's eyes.
" What do you mean?", she asked softly.
"I'm still a kid too. I don't know the first thing about changing diapers or making formula and thinking about it freaks me out. Like, it scares the shit outta me".
Maritza sighed and rested her head against Flaca's chest. She could hear her rapid heartbeat.
"It's okay. I don't know what I was thinking".
"Look, it's not like I never want to have kids. I mean, I love Juliana so much and it would be great if we could give her a sister or a brother. But like, no estoy listo para eso", Flaca said with an apologetic smile.
"I love you and when you're ready just tell me". Maritza placed a featherlight kiss on her girlfriend's cheek. "And for what it's worth, you're gonna be a great mom. I see how you are with Juliana. Always cheering her up and making her laugh. She really loves you".
Flaca blushed and looked out the window.
"Only cos I always give her piggyback rides".