Chapter 1: Hair

A/N: I have no idea what the 'bots knew of humans prior to meeting Jack Miko and Raf, and I have no idea what they had learned of humans after meeting them, so I'm just kinda going partly with what they indicate on the show and partly with what I thought up in my mind...okay, mostly with what I thought up in my mind. I hope you like it!

Oh, and if any of you are reading my story 'When Heroes Meet' I'm afraid it's gonna be a little while until the next chapter is put up. I've got writers block on it and if I try to write it now it'll just end up being crummy. So please be patient, I'll work on it as soon as I get re-inspired.

Disclaimer: Do I look like I own Hasbro? Well I don't, so I don't own this either.

Rated T for discussions of human anatomy in some chapters.

Ratchet was actually kinda happy right now, mostly cause the base was quiet. All the bots were out on a energon hunt so he had the base all to himself. Well, not completely, he had to bridge Miko and Raf into the base since their guardians were busy, and was expecting a ground bridge request from Jack any minute. But it felt like he had the base to himself, mostly because Miko was actually being quiet! Yes, you heard me, quiet! For some reason she was content to sit and listen to music on her phone until Bulkhead came back. She was using headphones so Ratchet couldn't hear the heavy metal, as soon as he had learned of their existence he bought some for her so his audio receptors could get a rest (No one knows where he got the money). Raf was quietly typing away on his computer, a trait that was one of the reasons Ratchet liked him more than most humans.

A ping interrupted his train of thought, it was Jack requesting a ground bridge just like he expected. He typed in the coordinates and activated the bridge, Jack walked through the swirling portal a few seconds later.

While he was closing the bridge Ratchet couldn't help but notice that something was off with Jack. It wasn't his clothes, he was wearing the same jeans, white long-sleeve, and gray t-shirt that he always did. He was the same height, same weight, same face, same h- no, wait. It was his helm! It looked smaller, well, at least the top part. The black part of his helm had been altered! He must have gotten into a fight and broken it! Why hadn't he told his mother? She was a nurse after all. Ugh, patients, they never like to admit they're hurt until it's critical.

"Jack, what happened to your head?"

Jack stopped in his tracks, confused by the medics words. "What? What are you talking about?"

"Your head has been injured, why didn't you go to your mother? You need to have it looked at right away, head injuries are not to be taken lightly!" Ratchet scolded.

"Are you talking about my haircut?"

"Your what?" Was that the name for this specific injury?

"My haircut. Mom said it was getting too long so she cut it last night."

"Your mother intentionally harmed you?! For looks?!" And just when he thought humans couldn't get any lower! Actually mutilating her sons helm just because she didn't like how it looked! Oh, he would be sure and have a nice looooong talk with Mrs. Darby when he saw her.

"What? No! Haircuts are not injuries." Jack replied, raising his hands in defence.

Miko decided to pipe up, having taken off her headphones at Jacks arrival.

"Yeah Doc Bot, everybody gets a haircut at least once in their life, and it just so happened that Jack here was due for a trim."

Whaaaaaaaat? "It's a common thing among humans to cut away pieces of their helm at least once in their life?"

"Well, it grows back."

"What?"

"Yeah, hair just keeps growing. That's why we get it cut, cause if you didn't it would be, like, super duper long! And it's nice to get it cut and styled once in a while."

This was getting more confusing with every second. "So humans chip away parts of their helm, even though it's painful, ju-"

"What? No, it doesn't hurt. Unless your stylist is a complete jerk and keeps yanking on it."

Ratchet didn't know what to think anymore. So Raf decided to step in and clarify for the confused medic.

"Yeah, hair doesn't have any nerves in it, it's not even alive, so even though it hurts to have it pulled and tangled, the actual hair can't feel pain. So it doesn't hurt when you get it cut. And yes Ratchet, hair does grow. For some people it grows until a certain point and then stops, for some people it constantly grows and never stops. That's one of the big reasons people get their hair cut, to keep it from getting too long and uncomfortable for them."

"Ah." Now it was all starting to make sense. "Interesting" Ratchet said, thinking about what he had just heard. "So what is the purpose of hair? Is it meant for protection? Or is it just for appearance?"

"Mostly for looks. People style it to look good to others, to look good for a possible future spouse, and just for themselves a lot of the time."

"So that's why Miko painted her hair black and pink? To look good to others?"

Miko sat up."Woah dude, black is my natural color, I added the stripe cause I think it looks rad! Not cause I think other people would like it."

To prove her point she showed the top of her head and pointed to where the pink stripe met her scalp. Ratchet bent down to look closer at where she was pointing and saw that she was right.

While the black hair was black all the way to the scalp, the pink stripe was only pink until right above the head, where it reverted back to black.

So humans painted themselves just like Cybertronians when they wanted a new look. Maybe they weren't as different as he thought. "Hmm, interesting. Anything else about hair I should know about?"

"Why are you so interested in hair Doc Bot?" Miko asked jumping up from the couch.

"I wish to expand my knowledge of humans since we are living among them, you are a very interesting species, and this seems like a good time to start learning about your kind."

Raf looked up from his laptop and adjusted his glasses. "Well we would be happy to teach you about humans if you want. So, another thing about hair is that we need to wash it regularly like the rest of our body. Our skin is constantly emitting oils and shedding dead skin, but these things get caught in our hair, making it oily and full of we call 'dandruff', we need to use special products to wash these out. And we also need to brush it regularly to get tangles and knots out of it."

These humans sure needed a lot of grooming.

Miko decided to further educate the good doctor on hair and where it grows. "We don't just grow it on our heads, it's on our eyelids and eyebrows too! Come to think of it, it's all over us! It's just a lot more noticeable on our faces and heads.

Ratchet couldn't believe that they grew hair on their optic lids. But when he leaned in to get a better view of Miko's face he saw that yes, there was hair on their optic lids! And hair made up their optic ridges as well, which wasn't that odd, the dark hair made their optic ridges more prominent and easier to read, so that wasn't too weird. But why did they have it around their optics?

"What is the purpose of having it on your eyes?" He asked, quite baffled at the placement of the strange substance.

"It keeps dust, dirt and other small things from getting in and hurting our eyes." Jack answered.

Well at least this particular hair had a purpose other than looks.

Wait. Didn't Miko say that hair was all over there bodies? "You said that hair is everywhere on you. Just what do you mean by 'everywhere'?" Jack decided to answer this. "Well, there are tiny hairs almost everywhere on our bodies. The only places that I can think of where there isn't any is our hands, the soles of our feet, some places on our faces, and probably a few other places, but I'm not sure. The hairs are so tiny though that you can hardly see them except in places like our legs, arms, armpits, and in guys, their chests."

"Yeah." Miko interjected "Guys also grow hair on their faces called beards. It's kinda shows their manliness. And when teens hit puberty they grow hair in-" "AND he doesn't need to know about that Miko." Jack quickly and loudly interuppted.

Hair on their faces, hair on their bodies, hair on their head, hair wherever Miko was about to mention that he really didn't want to know about, these weren't 'fleshies' they were 'hairies'. At least there wasn't anything else weird to learn about hair.

"We also have hair in our noses. Wanna see?" Miko reached for her nose.

"No thank you! I think I've learned enough for one day." Just then Ratchet got a comm from Optimus requesting a ground bridge. 'Saved by the bell' he thought as he answered it and prepared the bridge.

The green swirling portal opened up and the 'bots drove in, three of them going to their human charges.

As Arcee approached Jack she noticed something. "Jack! What happened to your head? Why didn't you tell me you were hurt?"

Ratchet groaned. This was going to be a long day.

A/N: Hope you all liked it! Feel free to leave a review and tell me what you thought of this chapter and tell me any ideas you have for future chapters!