Disclaimer: Again, Thank God, I don't own Zoey 101!

Enjoy, kiddies. Enjoy.

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Zoey Matthews sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day and shouted, "It's in the shower, honey!" She continued to make her hair like Britney Spears but it was proving to be futile.

"Honey?! I'm not a honey! I'm a guy! Are you stupid?!" Chase shouted from the kitchen where he was making toast for their dinner. "Anyway, Zoeeeey, WHERE IS MY HAIR CURLER?!"

"Ohmygosh! Are you so dumb, Daddy?! Momma said it's in the shower! Jeez!" Chase and Zoey's daughter, Blue Girl, – who was named after the beer her parents both drank every single day – came out from her room holding chopsticks and a glue gun.

"Shaddup, Beerbutt!" Blue Girl's little brother yelled from the living room couch. The television was blaring some advertisement for Doraemon underwear and little Filbert, the Matthews' fourth kid, could not miss one second of the interesting and the educational thirty second episode – or commercial.

"No, you shut up!" shouted little Blue Girl. And for no reason at all, she jumped on him and started pretending he was a moose.

"Kids, settle down, settle down!" shouted their Auntie Lola. "I can't see myself shave from all the noise!"

The two kids shrugged as they always would and stopped. They had a longstanding respect for their lesbian Auntie Lola. Yes, they did. Ever since she threatened to show them how she made out with a woman.

"Lola! Hey, babycakes!" Zoey and Chase's first son, Gavin, a notorious bisexual, tried to climb over the window ledge to greet his unrequited lover.

"Ugh. Leave me alone, homo!" Lola swatted the air with her electric shaver.

"Aw, but, honey, you are too! Now where is Daddy? He said he wanted to talk about a divorce with me." He fell from the ledge and straightened up quickly.

The second child, Playgirl, came out from her small attic-bedroom and looked disgustedly at her family. "Losers!" she shouted before pulling up her drooping fishnet socks and tightening her garter belt.

She, then for no reason at all, started to shout, "Hakuna Matata!" over and over again.

"Just one big happy family, yo," their Uncle Dustin shouted from the basement-turned-DJ room. He was currently trying to be the first white African-American. "We, like, so diggity-dog-sick, man!" He continued to yell. "So holla back!"

"Stop watching American Dragon, you f – beep – ing moron!" Zoey shouted. The 'beep' was courtesy of Gavin.

And then, for no reason at all, they all blew up.

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Heh heh.