Cinder-Anna
by Icy and J
A/N: by our past experience in fairy tale parodies (this is the third one...), we've decided to heed reviewer's advice and write another one, this on based on the well-loved story of Cinderella. You might be wondering, why always Anna? Well, the answer is this. Because we say so. Haha. The plot falls better that way, anyways.
We do not own the characters. Or the story for that matter. But we *do* own a locker that hasn't been cleaned out properly since 9 months ago.
Cinder-Anna
"Anna! Get your lazy butt off that couch this instant and get the laundry!!!!" Kino hollered, jabbing a finger in Anna's general direction. Anna would have rolled her eyes and continued watching the tube if there wasn't a rather hard piece of metal slamming into her head.
"Get up!" Kino screamed again. (Haha... she's always the mean b*tch.) "Or do I have to toss another pot at your head to get that through to you?!"
Yohmei sweatdropped. "Maa maa, Kino... She's only a child... You should lighten up abi-"
He was roughly interrupted with a painful stab to the ribs with Kino's walking stick. "Shut up, silly old man! You protect this girl too much! How bout our other two silly excuses for a family? They are sooooo much better than HER..."
Anna rolled her eyes and set about scouring the house for laundry. That was when she entered Ren's room. The vastly furnished room seemed more like something out of a pop star's bedroom, complete with the four poster bed and the heavy workout set in the corner. Ren was rather busy talking to himself in the mirror to bother about Anna's entrance into the room.
"I think you look especially buff this morning, Ren!" he said to himself, poking a muscle tentatively until it looked like it was about to deflate any moment. "Perhaps you should wear something sleeveless tonight to that 'ball' to show off some off these..."
Ren flexed his muscle again. "Or maybe I shouldn't wear *anything*! That would be most complimenting..."
Anna picked up an unstable looking shirt before slowly exiting the room, hopeful not to get spotted by...
"Anna-chan?"
... Too late.
"Hmm?" Anna sighed. If it was something about his spandex body suit again, she'd swear she would-
"Can you get me that robe I wore last week? I need it for the ball tonight at the palace." Ren said, not taking his gaze off the mirror.
Anna blinked. "What ball?"
Ren waved his hand in the air dismissively. "Bah! Just some ball the royal family holds to pick their heir's queen or king. Personally, I'd think *I* would make a good king. A king must be *strong* and *buff* and..."
Anna was already long gone. A ball? It was like a dream come true. Like a scene peeled out from one of her soap operas. Tortured and abused girl meets prince and...
"... and has the complete collection of Muscle Man Magazine. But, either ways, you wouldn't know. Cause you. Aren't. Going."
This snapped her out of her reverie. "What?!"
"Of course you can't go!" Ren laughed mockingly. "That old wrinkled bag of skin upstairs won't even let you step out of the house, let alone to a royal ball! Besides, I wouldn't want to be caught *dead* with *you*."
TTTHHHHHHWWWAAAAAACCCCCCKKKK!!!!!!! (Thwack.)
Anna stormed out of the room, ignoring Kino and Ren's shouting and the searing pain in the palm of her hand. She went to the basement and shut the door behind her, curling up in a corner to cry. She didn't really have to shut the door since Kino had immediately taken to sealing it shut with several tubes of UHU super glue and large wooden planks.
Anna looked about the cold dank walls of her new prison. They looked so cold and emotionless. She needed something. Something deep in her called out for it yet it was the unreachable behind the unopenable door. Dreaming of it would only prove to be a lie to herself. She wanted it. She needed it. She needed...
... Television.
"BWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Anna wailed taking out her anger on the slimy walls of the celler until the walls began to shake...
... Wait a minute. Shake?!
The walls shook so hard they began to crumble, exposing the huge bulldozer at the other side, driven by a strange yet familiar person.
"Hello, Anna-chan!" Ryu sang, hopping out of the bulldozer. "I am your fairy godmother and I'm here to bring you to the ball!"
Anna blinked. This... Man was her fairy godmother?! Looks like she was doomed for life...
"But I'm dirty and smelly and dressed in last year's fashion! I can't go to a ball like this!! And my fairy godmother turns out to be a man whose hair looks like a chinese sausage!!!!!!!! I'm dooooommmmedddd!!!!!!" Anna yelled before going back to the wailing bit.
Ryu stuffed more cotton wool into his ears before pulling out a magic wand from his pocket and magically plastering a large band-aid to her mouth.
"Just shut up and let me work, okay?!" he sighed esparately and in a poof of peanut smelling smoke, utter transformation occured.
(Sounds like a science experiment...-Icy)
(It happens as a result of pre-exam cramming.-J)
Gone were the walls of the cellar! Gone were the drabby clothes Anna was wearing! Gone was the bulldozer! And what was left? Let me tell you...
The two of them were now standing just outside the house under the cool of the night air. Anna somehow, was decked out in a rather skimpy but very very very flattering form-fitting dress that ended somewhere mid thigh.
(We would further describe the dress but I don't wear dresses and Icy detests them. So... we don't have an accurate schematic of how it should look.-J)
(That was sooo unnessecary...-Icy)
Either ways, Anna looked good cleaned up, and her hair was magically twisted into a bun high on her head. This was a BIG improvement since it was just... hanging around before.
Ryu marvelled his handiwork. "You look *mighty* fine young lady, if I may say so myself... Now transportation."
With a click of his fingers, a sleek, black, smooth ferrari came rolling to a halt right before the shell-shocked Anna. She quite happily hopped in, turning up the sound system and began burning rubber... if you're not familiar with the term, it means driving really fast. Ya.
"Well, *that* went well..." Ryu sighed, hopping onto his bike and screeching off to some no-name diner for a smoke and a beer. That was when he realised...
"Oh Shit!" he yelped. "I forgot to tell her that the spell wears off at 11.59pm!!!" After a few seconds of mindless panic, Ryu sighed and decided to go look for her.
"It can't be *that* hard to find the girl... Right?"
He couldn't have been more wrong.
The ball room was packed to the breaking point. Men and women from all over the country flocked to this one event, in hopes of being chosen as the future royalty of Japan...
Anna, however, was not too concerned about all this. She just wanted to party, dance the night away, and get piss drunk. This was why she made bee line for the bar the moment she got there.
"Ladies and gentlemen!" boomed the speaker. "I now present... Their royal highnesses... Princes Hao and Yoh Asakura!"
There was a thunderous applause as the two handsome (aw, come on... give em a little credit...) princes stepped up onto the raised podium overlooking the throngs of people.
"My dear brother..." Hao hissed to Yoh through gritted teeth, trying to keep smiling and waving. "I do believe we have a duty to do here."
Yoh suppressed a yawn. "I'd rather be watching tv..."
"Well, maybe that blonde over at the bar will make you change your mind..."
Yoh turned his line of vision and was immediately captivated by a gorgeous blonde sitting in a corner of the bar, seemingly detached from the crowds. She seemed so... peaceful. So sure of herself yet detached from the crazy materialistic people of the world. She almost seemed surreal...
"Well, if you're just going to stand there and gape..." Hao said with a cat like smile. "... Then I'll go get her first! Nyahahahaha!!!!!"
And with that, the long haired prince bolted down the stairs towards the bar. This snapped Yoh out of his daydream and he too went flying down the stairs in a mad rush. However, the crowd had other plans... They thought that the prince was beginning the dance and randomly began dancing with him, every now and then twirling him off to some other partner.
While Yoh was stuck in the endless dancing, Hao had made it to the bar and began sliding into the seat next to our little Anna. He silently made a gesture to the bartender who seemed to understand cos he gave Hao a glass of whiskey with plenty of ice.
"So... What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?" Hao asked, striking the most sauve pose he could. A few girls in the background fainted.
Anna took another sip from her glass, not really bothering to look up at Hao. "Getting piss drunk."
Hao blinked. It wasn't supposed to go this way... "Oh... I... erm, see." not one to give up easily, he struck another pose, this time facing Anna and gently and rather sneekily placing his hand on top of hers.
"You know, you have the prettiest eyes I've ever seen." he said earnstly. Anna took another swig of her drink.
"You haven't seen my eyes yet." she deadpanned.
This was too much humiliation for Hao to take. He rather roughly, yet surprisingly gently, turned Anna's face to look at him. He looked deep into her crystalline eyes and...
TTHHHHHWWWWAAAAACCCKKK!!!!!!!! (Thwack.)
"Oops... I'm sorry. My hand slipped." Anna muttered before turning back to her drink. Yoh somehow managed to untangle himself from the hordes of girls... and guys (??) that were clamouring for a dance with the dreamy (dreaming) prince.
With plenty of difficulty, he managed to stumble over to the bar, casting a nervous look to his brother who lay sprawled on the floor several feet away.
He shakily ordered a drink and simply sat there. So the two of them simply sat there in companionable silence, sipping their drinks, calmly detached from the noise of the ball room.
Yoh finally mustered his courage and cleared his throat. "Hello, erm... Miss..."
"Don't ask." Anna finished simply. Yoh gave her a weak grin. "Okay then," Yoh began, rising from his seat to offer Anna his outstretched hand. "Can I have this dance?"
Actually, at this moment, there was no music since the band decided to go on a break, especially since the young Prince Yoh didn't really look like he was going to make his moves anytime this century. Only the increasing volume of excited murmurs on who was going to snatch the prince away next. By then, Hao had already been revived by a bucket of ice and was happily chatting up some strange looking girl all clad in spikey metal.
Anna, in a slightly drunk state, took the profered hand and was rather gently lead to the middle of the dance floor. Suddenly, there was music streaming out of nowhere and the two began to dance. Rather clumsily at first, considering Yoh was kinda rusty at dancing and that Anna was slightly zonked.
So, there they were, finally on the dance floor, slowly moving to the music of a stupidly slow song. It was so slow, it made the guards stupid, so they never noticed the naked man walking into the ballroom...
Yoh sighed. This was exaclty what he had pictured when his mother told him stories of grand ballroom dances. He could smell the slightly citrus of her scent, feel the soft silkiness of her skin. He felt like he had transcended above the reality of the situation into a surreal world where everthing else was secondary to this... This moment.
Secondary only until...
"AAAARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!" A shrill cry rang out in the ball room. "PERVERT IN THE BUILDING!!!!!!!!"
There was a mad rush for the doors as everyone scrambled to get out of the building. In the confusion, Anna was swept away as well, leaving the rather befuddle Yoh standing there all alone, gazing at her slowly dimishing form.
"Bwahahhahaha!!!!!! They all run from REN!!!! The Buff Master!!!!!!" Ren cackled, parading at the entrance of the ballroom wearing only a pair of g-string underwear.
(ew...-Icy)
(Hey, it's funny! I own a pair too!-J)
(o.O *edges away*-Icy)
Unfortunately, he didn't have much time to gloat at the complete pandamonia he had caused and was swept away by the surging crowd as well...
"Well, brother... That was one swell party!!!!" Hao laughed as the crowds disappeared from the castle grounds. "That iron clad Holy Maiden whatshername is cute too ya know?"
Yoh was in silent contemplation. He was left with a sense of emptiness inside. Something he was not familiar with at all and he sure as hell didn't like it. He didn't even catch her name...
"I must find her..." Yoh said softly, spotting a strange pair of g-string underwear crumpled on the floor. He picked it up and gripped it in his fist.
"...I MUST find her."
~TBC~
Ew... Yuck.. Please... R&R... Ya. We are human. We need reviews to get our egos going. Like petrol for a car. So we ain't gonna post chapter 2 till we get a measely 6 review. 8 will be good too...
by Icy and J
A/N: by our past experience in fairy tale parodies (this is the third one...), we've decided to heed reviewer's advice and write another one, this on based on the well-loved story of Cinderella. You might be wondering, why always Anna? Well, the answer is this. Because we say so. Haha. The plot falls better that way, anyways.
We do not own the characters. Or the story for that matter. But we *do* own a locker that hasn't been cleaned out properly since 9 months ago.
Cinder-Anna
"Anna! Get your lazy butt off that couch this instant and get the laundry!!!!" Kino hollered, jabbing a finger in Anna's general direction. Anna would have rolled her eyes and continued watching the tube if there wasn't a rather hard piece of metal slamming into her head.
"Get up!" Kino screamed again. (Haha... she's always the mean b*tch.) "Or do I have to toss another pot at your head to get that through to you?!"
Yohmei sweatdropped. "Maa maa, Kino... She's only a child... You should lighten up abi-"
He was roughly interrupted with a painful stab to the ribs with Kino's walking stick. "Shut up, silly old man! You protect this girl too much! How bout our other two silly excuses for a family? They are sooooo much better than HER..."
Anna rolled her eyes and set about scouring the house for laundry. That was when she entered Ren's room. The vastly furnished room seemed more like something out of a pop star's bedroom, complete with the four poster bed and the heavy workout set in the corner. Ren was rather busy talking to himself in the mirror to bother about Anna's entrance into the room.
"I think you look especially buff this morning, Ren!" he said to himself, poking a muscle tentatively until it looked like it was about to deflate any moment. "Perhaps you should wear something sleeveless tonight to that 'ball' to show off some off these..."
Ren flexed his muscle again. "Or maybe I shouldn't wear *anything*! That would be most complimenting..."
Anna picked up an unstable looking shirt before slowly exiting the room, hopeful not to get spotted by...
"Anna-chan?"
... Too late.
"Hmm?" Anna sighed. If it was something about his spandex body suit again, she'd swear she would-
"Can you get me that robe I wore last week? I need it for the ball tonight at the palace." Ren said, not taking his gaze off the mirror.
Anna blinked. "What ball?"
Ren waved his hand in the air dismissively. "Bah! Just some ball the royal family holds to pick their heir's queen or king. Personally, I'd think *I* would make a good king. A king must be *strong* and *buff* and..."
Anna was already long gone. A ball? It was like a dream come true. Like a scene peeled out from one of her soap operas. Tortured and abused girl meets prince and...
"... and has the complete collection of Muscle Man Magazine. But, either ways, you wouldn't know. Cause you. Aren't. Going."
This snapped her out of her reverie. "What?!"
"Of course you can't go!" Ren laughed mockingly. "That old wrinkled bag of skin upstairs won't even let you step out of the house, let alone to a royal ball! Besides, I wouldn't want to be caught *dead* with *you*."
TTTHHHHHHWWWAAAAAACCCCCCKKKK!!!!!!! (Thwack.)
Anna stormed out of the room, ignoring Kino and Ren's shouting and the searing pain in the palm of her hand. She went to the basement and shut the door behind her, curling up in a corner to cry. She didn't really have to shut the door since Kino had immediately taken to sealing it shut with several tubes of UHU super glue and large wooden planks.
Anna looked about the cold dank walls of her new prison. They looked so cold and emotionless. She needed something. Something deep in her called out for it yet it was the unreachable behind the unopenable door. Dreaming of it would only prove to be a lie to herself. She wanted it. She needed it. She needed...
... Television.
"BWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Anna wailed taking out her anger on the slimy walls of the celler until the walls began to shake...
... Wait a minute. Shake?!
The walls shook so hard they began to crumble, exposing the huge bulldozer at the other side, driven by a strange yet familiar person.
"Hello, Anna-chan!" Ryu sang, hopping out of the bulldozer. "I am your fairy godmother and I'm here to bring you to the ball!"
Anna blinked. This... Man was her fairy godmother?! Looks like she was doomed for life...
"But I'm dirty and smelly and dressed in last year's fashion! I can't go to a ball like this!! And my fairy godmother turns out to be a man whose hair looks like a chinese sausage!!!!!!!! I'm dooooommmmedddd!!!!!!" Anna yelled before going back to the wailing bit.
Ryu stuffed more cotton wool into his ears before pulling out a magic wand from his pocket and magically plastering a large band-aid to her mouth.
"Just shut up and let me work, okay?!" he sighed esparately and in a poof of peanut smelling smoke, utter transformation occured.
(Sounds like a science experiment...-Icy)
(It happens as a result of pre-exam cramming.-J)
Gone were the walls of the cellar! Gone were the drabby clothes Anna was wearing! Gone was the bulldozer! And what was left? Let me tell you...
The two of them were now standing just outside the house under the cool of the night air. Anna somehow, was decked out in a rather skimpy but very very very flattering form-fitting dress that ended somewhere mid thigh.
(We would further describe the dress but I don't wear dresses and Icy detests them. So... we don't have an accurate schematic of how it should look.-J)
(That was sooo unnessecary...-Icy)
Either ways, Anna looked good cleaned up, and her hair was magically twisted into a bun high on her head. This was a BIG improvement since it was just... hanging around before.
Ryu marvelled his handiwork. "You look *mighty* fine young lady, if I may say so myself... Now transportation."
With a click of his fingers, a sleek, black, smooth ferrari came rolling to a halt right before the shell-shocked Anna. She quite happily hopped in, turning up the sound system and began burning rubber... if you're not familiar with the term, it means driving really fast. Ya.
"Well, *that* went well..." Ryu sighed, hopping onto his bike and screeching off to some no-name diner for a smoke and a beer. That was when he realised...
"Oh Shit!" he yelped. "I forgot to tell her that the spell wears off at 11.59pm!!!" After a few seconds of mindless panic, Ryu sighed and decided to go look for her.
"It can't be *that* hard to find the girl... Right?"
He couldn't have been more wrong.
The ball room was packed to the breaking point. Men and women from all over the country flocked to this one event, in hopes of being chosen as the future royalty of Japan...
Anna, however, was not too concerned about all this. She just wanted to party, dance the night away, and get piss drunk. This was why she made bee line for the bar the moment she got there.
"Ladies and gentlemen!" boomed the speaker. "I now present... Their royal highnesses... Princes Hao and Yoh Asakura!"
There was a thunderous applause as the two handsome (aw, come on... give em a little credit...) princes stepped up onto the raised podium overlooking the throngs of people.
"My dear brother..." Hao hissed to Yoh through gritted teeth, trying to keep smiling and waving. "I do believe we have a duty to do here."
Yoh suppressed a yawn. "I'd rather be watching tv..."
"Well, maybe that blonde over at the bar will make you change your mind..."
Yoh turned his line of vision and was immediately captivated by a gorgeous blonde sitting in a corner of the bar, seemingly detached from the crowds. She seemed so... peaceful. So sure of herself yet detached from the crazy materialistic people of the world. She almost seemed surreal...
"Well, if you're just going to stand there and gape..." Hao said with a cat like smile. "... Then I'll go get her first! Nyahahahaha!!!!!"
And with that, the long haired prince bolted down the stairs towards the bar. This snapped Yoh out of his daydream and he too went flying down the stairs in a mad rush. However, the crowd had other plans... They thought that the prince was beginning the dance and randomly began dancing with him, every now and then twirling him off to some other partner.
While Yoh was stuck in the endless dancing, Hao had made it to the bar and began sliding into the seat next to our little Anna. He silently made a gesture to the bartender who seemed to understand cos he gave Hao a glass of whiskey with plenty of ice.
"So... What's a pretty girl like you doing in a place like this?" Hao asked, striking the most sauve pose he could. A few girls in the background fainted.
Anna took another sip from her glass, not really bothering to look up at Hao. "Getting piss drunk."
Hao blinked. It wasn't supposed to go this way... "Oh... I... erm, see." not one to give up easily, he struck another pose, this time facing Anna and gently and rather sneekily placing his hand on top of hers.
"You know, you have the prettiest eyes I've ever seen." he said earnstly. Anna took another swig of her drink.
"You haven't seen my eyes yet." she deadpanned.
This was too much humiliation for Hao to take. He rather roughly, yet surprisingly gently, turned Anna's face to look at him. He looked deep into her crystalline eyes and...
TTHHHHHWWWWAAAAACCCKKK!!!!!!!! (Thwack.)
"Oops... I'm sorry. My hand slipped." Anna muttered before turning back to her drink. Yoh somehow managed to untangle himself from the hordes of girls... and guys (??) that were clamouring for a dance with the dreamy (dreaming) prince.
With plenty of difficulty, he managed to stumble over to the bar, casting a nervous look to his brother who lay sprawled on the floor several feet away.
He shakily ordered a drink and simply sat there. So the two of them simply sat there in companionable silence, sipping their drinks, calmly detached from the noise of the ball room.
Yoh finally mustered his courage and cleared his throat. "Hello, erm... Miss..."
"Don't ask." Anna finished simply. Yoh gave her a weak grin. "Okay then," Yoh began, rising from his seat to offer Anna his outstretched hand. "Can I have this dance?"
Actually, at this moment, there was no music since the band decided to go on a break, especially since the young Prince Yoh didn't really look like he was going to make his moves anytime this century. Only the increasing volume of excited murmurs on who was going to snatch the prince away next. By then, Hao had already been revived by a bucket of ice and was happily chatting up some strange looking girl all clad in spikey metal.
Anna, in a slightly drunk state, took the profered hand and was rather gently lead to the middle of the dance floor. Suddenly, there was music streaming out of nowhere and the two began to dance. Rather clumsily at first, considering Yoh was kinda rusty at dancing and that Anna was slightly zonked.
So, there they were, finally on the dance floor, slowly moving to the music of a stupidly slow song. It was so slow, it made the guards stupid, so they never noticed the naked man walking into the ballroom...
Yoh sighed. This was exaclty what he had pictured when his mother told him stories of grand ballroom dances. He could smell the slightly citrus of her scent, feel the soft silkiness of her skin. He felt like he had transcended above the reality of the situation into a surreal world where everthing else was secondary to this... This moment.
Secondary only until...
"AAAARRRGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!" A shrill cry rang out in the ball room. "PERVERT IN THE BUILDING!!!!!!!!"
There was a mad rush for the doors as everyone scrambled to get out of the building. In the confusion, Anna was swept away as well, leaving the rather befuddle Yoh standing there all alone, gazing at her slowly dimishing form.
"Bwahahhahaha!!!!!! They all run from REN!!!! The Buff Master!!!!!!" Ren cackled, parading at the entrance of the ballroom wearing only a pair of g-string underwear.
(ew...-Icy)
(Hey, it's funny! I own a pair too!-J)
(o.O *edges away*-Icy)
Unfortunately, he didn't have much time to gloat at the complete pandamonia he had caused and was swept away by the surging crowd as well...
"Well, brother... That was one swell party!!!!" Hao laughed as the crowds disappeared from the castle grounds. "That iron clad Holy Maiden whatshername is cute too ya know?"
Yoh was in silent contemplation. He was left with a sense of emptiness inside. Something he was not familiar with at all and he sure as hell didn't like it. He didn't even catch her name...
"I must find her..." Yoh said softly, spotting a strange pair of g-string underwear crumpled on the floor. He picked it up and gripped it in his fist.
"...I MUST find her."
~TBC~
Ew... Yuck.. Please... R&R... Ya. We are human. We need reviews to get our egos going. Like petrol for a car. So we ain't gonna post chapter 2 till we get a measely 6 review. 8 will be good too...