Disclaimer: I don't own Nodame Cantabile. Just a little drabble about how Nodame felt with all the criticisms on her.

"Can't they just accept me for who I am???"

She pressed her fingers harder on the keys.

"I can't pretend to be good when I'm actually not!"

Even though the piece wasn't meant to be played like how she was currently playing it, her head kept saying to her, 'Harder! Harder!' You must try to play it perfectly!'. She was way too angry to play everything cool and calm. She was just too carried away by her emotions.

"Can't they accept the way I play? I'm tired of listening to all of them!"

If the keys had life, they'd be complaining by now. Why blame it all to them whenever she's angry? No, they have to just accept it, it's just the way Nodame is whenever no one's around, whenever Chiaki's not around.

It was a messy Liszt Transcendental Etude No.1 and No.2. She was always playing classical pieces so messily that even Eto wouldn't want to bother talking or correcting her. He would always think how a waste she is with that talent of hers if she wouldn't coordinate with him.

"I'm tired of trying to be perfect for them!"

She dropped her arms and banged her head on the keys. Blood was dripping from the keys, but it was like she didn't feel any pain at all. She felt enough pain as it is whenever someone talks to her and pressures her about taking the piano seriously that she's already numb when it comes to being hurt, but if it was Chiaki, she'd try and fool him that she's hurt when she's actually not. She wasn't in the beginning in fact, because she was too tired of getting hurt already.

----

Noda Megumi, but more known as 'Nodame'. She was a cheerful girl and a sloppy music student, but her hearing was good, too good that she was able to play anything by just listening to the mere piece itself without the notes. She even became sloppier when she met Shinichi Chiaki, because it was like her life revolved around him. But, all of the happy days came to an end when a stranger confronted her. Why did he even say that? She asked herself. Did he know her that much that he had the guts to say things like those to her? He probably did, he was right anyway.

It was one normal night, Nodame was again admiring the side dishes at a local restaurant, but most unfortunately without Chiaki that time, as he was busy practicing with his oke for another public performance.

She got her wallet, but was dismayed to see only 1000 yen inside, she just sighed in disbelief and decided to just bug Chiaki again in his apartment for food, when a stranger suddenly stood next to her.

"Disappointed, right?" he said to her as he fixed his eyes on her wallet.

"Yeah... Gomen, but does Nodame know you mister?..."

"You don't know me, but I surely do know you, Noda Megumi,"

Her heartbeats raced. This is bad... Mukya! I should leave now!

She just bowed and was about to leave the place when the stranger grabbed her arm.

"Aw! THAT HURTS!"

Everyone in the restaurant were startled at Nodame's loud voice, but the stranger didn't budge to care about it and brought her outside. But he kept talking to her while he literally dragged her outside.

"Just like how you were disappointed to see that you didn't have enough money to buy food, that's how disappointed your teachers are and Chiaki at you!"

"Chotto! What are you talking about mister??? I don't even know you!"

"Don't play with me Noda, I know you too well, you're almost perfect yet you are salvaging your talents! What a total waste you are I must say. I wouldn't even want to think twice how Chiaki would never fall in love with a sore loser and idiot like you. You are wasting your days living and playing wonderful pieces messily while you think that it's just okay to play them like that when that's not even right! I'm saying this to you because I was once just like you! And I was under Eto as well, and he told me not to destroy the pieces I play just like what you are doing whenever you play the piano. I'll repeat this again, just like when you looked at your wallet and saw nothing but a thousand yen, you were disappointed right? That's what we are at you! When we thought you would become better by having a good teacher we were so wrong. You became worst each day thinking you could easily play with Eto but you're wrong! Eto is not saying anything to you now because he's dead tired I tell you! And-"

Tears were flowing from her eyes already, her hands turning into angry fists.

"JUST WHO THE HELL ARE YOU TO SAY THESE THINGS TO ME? YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME!"

But inside, Nodame knew too well that everything he said was right. She couldn't deny it, and why would she when everything he said about her was all true? All of it was pure truth, no lies.

He just laughed at her and left. It started to rain. She couldn't just stay in the rain. She was limping as she made her way home.

She could hear Chiaki playing the piano skillfully again. It was the magnificent Fantasie Impromptu by Chopin of course, but she didn't care, she just wanted to go under the covers of her bed and go to sleep. No! She mustn't sleep! Was the stranger really right? She must prove him wrong, by playing the piano. She opted for Chopin's Etude Op. 10 No.3. It was a calm piece, most likely to make you sleep. Earlier she could hear the piano next door, but now it was silenced. Chiaki must have heard her playing. After a while he continued again. She recorded her playing and listened to it afterwards. She was indeed playing sloppily. She just remembered what Eto said to her, to never play pieces that way you want to play it or else it would mean conflict with how the composer originally wanted it to be played, it would also mean being unable to understand the composer.

"Nodame truly is... an idiot..." she said to herself weakly.

She slowly made her way to her bed, it was again under the pile of garbages, but she didn't care. She was tired of caring about everything, because she knew it wouldn't be obvious, no one would care to notice it when she would actually care for someone or something.

----

Noda Megumi. She's not the same Noda Megumi before. Now, she's not reluctant to try and learn, but she is now more willing. She didn't want any pretentions, she was tired of pretending to everyone that she was okay and that nothing really mattered to her except her love for the piano by playing it the way she wanted and the love she had for Chiaki.

What she really wanted now was to prove that stranger wrong. She knows that he's just around the campus, not wanting to be seen by her, not wanting to be known by her. Whenever she played fast pieces, not only would her heartbeat race, but her anger would also increase because it would just remind her of the stranger that once said to her how an idiot she was, how a fool she was of trying to pretend to others that she was all that carefree and innocent.

Do you like it or hate it? Well, it all depends on the reader I guess.. But a review would be nice from you, anyway thanks a lot for reading this short fic.