Summary: Mulder and Scully are getting ready for a very swanky undercover job. Fake!fiances+pure fluff. Involves "sugarbeet" as a term of endearment.
Rating: K+
"Can I help you two?" the saleswoman asked.
Agent Fox Mulder put his arm around his partner and gave her a playful squeeze. "Yes, actually," he said, grinning broadly. "My fiance and I are heading to a big bash, and we figured overalls wouldn't quite cut it."
As the saleswoman led them back between racks flowing silk and glitter into the depths, Dana Scully looked up at her partner. "Fiancee? Really?"
Mulder shrugged. "Too late now. Gotta roll with it."
"We're not even supposed to be undercover yet!"
He shushed her playfully.
"So, if you tell me a little about where you two are headed, I can get you started," the saleswoman said, wiping her hands on her slacks and smiling a little.
She's new, Mulder thought. Fun.
"Oh, you know, no where too special. I think it's called the...Oscars? Is that right, hun?"
"That's right, sugarbeet."
The sales woman's eyes widened. "Wow. Ok."
Scully's ran her fingers down the length of a bright pink dress with a floor-length tulle skirt with a bodice made of solid glitter. It was possibly the most garish thing she had set eyes on in months, muck monsters included. "What about this one?"
"I think I had a cravat that color for junior prom," said Mulder. Scully raised one eyebrow and the saleswoman, whose nametag indicated she was called Emma, visibly winced.
"How about this one?" Emma said quickly. "It's short enough you won't have to get it tailored."
"Thanks," said Scully, not sounding very appreciative.
Ten minutes later, Emma had an armful of dresses for Scully, and a gentleman from the men's department was trying to help Mulder find something suitable. When Scully joined them, Mulder was pointing to his steel-toed work boots and saying "You're sure these won't do?" while the salesman flushed redder and redder.
"Hey farmer," she whispered to Mulder. "Changing rooms. Let's go."
The store was practically empty midday on a Thursday, Scully and Mulder slipped into side-by-side stalls in the far wing of the women's changing room.
"What's this all about, Mulder?" Scully said, tugging her t-shirt over her head and draping it over the door.
"We've undercover, Scully, remember?"
"Not yet! And that memo said nothing about farming."
"Can't a man have any fun in these parts?"
Mulder stepped out of the stall, taking in the suit from each side in the mirror at the end of the hall.
Scully emerged from her stall, fumbling around with the back of her dress. "Looking good, killer." She had pulled her red hair into stubby ponytail, a hairstyle strangely out of place with the emerald dress she was wearing.
Mulder turned.
"Not bad yourself," he said.
"Zip me?" Scully turned, and Mulder worked the zipper up her back.
"I wish we weren't on this job, Mulder."
"Hey, it could be fun. I've always wanted to go to Hollywood."
"We've already been to Hollywood, Mulder."
"Oh come on, now. That doesn't count."
They both turned and sized each other up in the mirror. "I look like an eel," said Scully.
"No you don't," Mulder said. He gently tugged the ponytail holder out of her hair and handed it to her. "There," he said, brushing her hair over her shoulders. "Red-carpet ready. You look beautiful."
"Like a beautiful eel."
"An exceptionally beautiful eel."
"How you two doin'?" Mulder and Scully both turned at Emma's voice.
"Fine," said Scully. "But I think I'll go for something a little less...green."
Five dresses later, Scully finally came out of the dressing room smiling.
Mulder was quick to his feet. "It's beautiful," he said.
"Just like the last four?"
Mulder shrugged. "Are you ready to head? I've got a report to finish on the important work we've been doing for the bureau this afternoon."
"Well, I still need shoes—"
"You already own shoes, Scully. Three whole pairs."
Scully laughed. "Come on. I'll buy you dinner."
"Well, if you insist."
Scully spotted Emma watching them from the cast register, and she slipped her hand into Mulder's.
"And I'll come over to help you with that report later," Scully added.
"I don't actually have a report to finish," said Mulder.
"I know," said Scully.