Is This What Falling Out of Love Feels Like?

Author's Note~ Another Kadam drabble. Yay me! I had writers block when I wrote this, so it's not my best work, but I got positive reception from tumblr, so I figured I'd post it anyway.

This takes place after the Quarterback, so if you're wondering about the beginning, that's what it's about.

Just to be clear, Kurt and Adam decided to be non-exclusive until Kurt got his shit together, and this is the result of that headcanon.

"So, how are you holding up?" Adam asked sympathetically, as he and Kurt walked towards their favorite coffee shop.

Kurt sighed, "Better, I guess. I mean, I haven't randomly started crying yet today, so that's progress." Adam squeezed his hand in empathy.

"If you ever need anything, I'm here." Adam said sweetly, brushing his lips against Kurt's palm.

"Thanks," he smiled, although it came out more as a grimace. They both walked into the line, Adam giving the barista their orders.

"Of course. Now," he quickly changed the subject, for which Kurt was incredibly grateful for, "how was the rest of your spring break?"

Kurt groaned. "Stressful. I mean, as you know, I was worrying about my dad's cancer for the first few days."

"How did that go, by the way?" he asked. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." He backtracked hastily.

"No, it's fine. He's in remission."

"Oh, good! Go on."

"Well, then I met up with Sebastian again."

"2 Chai Lattes," the barista said.

"Thank you, love," Adam said sweetly, and handed her a 5. "Keep the change." He turned his attention back to Kurt. "Isn't he the one who tried to steal your boyfriend?" he asked skeptically, as they walked to their usual table.

"That's him, and I thought he was who Blaine cheated on me with, but apparently not."

"Really? Who was it, then?"

Kurt shrugged. "Beats me. Every time I'd bring it up, he would get this weird look on his face and change the subject."

"Hey, Blaine, I know we've been holding it off for a while, but I think we need to talk about what happened in October."

"Oh, wow! I forgot that Sam needed to meet me somewhere. See ya!"

"Ahh. How does that make you feel? I mean, you should have the right to know."

"I don't know," he sighed, "I just…don't care anymore. It's just not worth dwelling on."

"All right then. Anything else?" Adam prompted.

Kurt paused, and bit his lip. "Can you promise not to be mad at me?"

Adam raised an eyebrow. "Should I be?"

"Probably, but can you promise me that you won't?" the other man pleaded.

"I promise," Adam said slowly, eyeing him warily.

"I kissed Blaine," Kurt blurted out, and after seeing Adam's eyes flicker with hurt, started to ramble nervously, "Well, technically he kissed me, but I kissed him back so I'm just as guilty, and I didn't mean to, but it just sort of…happened."

Adam's face was void of emotion, his eyes just staring blankly at the coffee cup in his hand, so Kurt begged "Say something?" in a small voice.

The other man brought his gaze to meet his coolly and leaned back in his seat. "…I see," he stated.

"T-That's it?!" Kurt asked in disbelief "That's all you have to say?"

Adam shrugged nonchalantly, resting his hands behind his head. "What do you expect me to say?" he chuckled dryly, "Do you want me to lie and say that I'm thrilled? Cause I won't. You deserve more than that."

"You're not gonna like yell at me or-or call me a cheating whore or make me sing you like an apology song or something?"

"I would never call you such a thing!" Adam denied in astonishment, "Why would you think that?!"

"Because it's true."

"No, it isn't," Adam replied sternly. "Kurt, I knew coming into this thing that you still had feelings for your ex and I respected that by not pressuring for us to go exclusive."

"But you're mad at me, though." The younger man looks so broken that Adam rests his hand on top of his.

"No, I'm not," he sighed, "A little sad maybe, but I'm not mad. I get it. I've been in your situation before."

Kurt snorted. "Yeah, I doubt that."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, I highly doubt your ex proposed to you." Adam's eyebrows went all the way into his hairline.

"He…proposed to you? As in marriage?"

"Yep," Kurt said, making popping the p.

"What did you say?"

The brunette rolled his eyes. "No, of course. We're not even dating!"

"You didn't get back together with him?"

"I can't be in a relationship with someone I can't trust. That's just asking for disaster."

"But you kissed him." Adam affirmed.

"Yes."

"Can I ask why?"

Kurt sighed, "I don't even know. They were doing a Beatles tribute, and as you know, I have a soft spot for the Beatles, and Blaine wanted to do a duet with me, so I figured why not? But I guess I got caught up in the moment. It felt like-"

"Like old times?" Adam finished for him.

Kurt eyed him carefully, and let out a resigned "Yeah."

"So, then. How was it?" It probably wasn't a good time to ask because Kurt almost choked on his coffee.

"How was what? The kiss?!" he asked in both confusion and disbelief.

"Yes."

"It was…nice, I guess."

"Just…nice?"

"Yeah. I mean, it was kind of like when I kissed Rachel while she was practicing for Funny Girl. It was nice, but just kind of…empty. I didn't feel anything. I don't really understand because I've always felt this sort of spark around Blaine, like he was the only person in my vision even in a large crowd. But now, it's like that spark is gone," he explained. He cocked his head and asked in curiosity, a sort of wistfulness in his voice, "Is this what friend-zoning feels like?"

"No, this is what falling out of love feels like."

Kurt's breath hitched, and Adam was afraid he'd said the wrong thing until he heard the younger man breathe out, "Oh my God, you're right."

"Kurt-,"

"No, no, you're right!" Kurt cut him off. "The reason why it didn't mean anything when I kissed Brittany and Rachel was because I wasn't romantically attracted to them. And now, it's the same thing with Blaine. I didn't feel anything because I'm not in love with him anymore. I'm over him." He started laughing. "I'm finally over him! It's so ironic how when you fall in love, it's like a slap in the face, but falling out is so subtle that you don't notice."

"It doesn't make you sad at all? I mean, you did date him for over a year." Adam pointed out gently.

Kurt sobered up immediately. "I wouldn't say sad. More…nostalgic, I guess. Despite all our issues, we did have lots of good times as well. But I don't regret that our relationship is over, no. It ran its course, and now it's time for me to move on."

"Did you have anybody in particular on your mind?" Adam flirted.

"That depends," Kurt teased airily, "Are you volunteering?"

"Always."

Kurt's breath hitched. "You're too good for me," he whispered.

"Nothing's too good for you, Kurt Hummel."

Kurt blushed. He eyed the tousled blond hair out of the corner of his eye hoping that what he was about to do wasn't a huge mistake. He grabbed Adam's cheeks, pressing a stiff peck on his lips, ducking his head in embarrassment, his face an attractive shade of red.

"Why did you do that?" Adam asked, his voice sounding offended.

"I'm sorry," Kurt squeaked.

"You should be sorry," Adam said indignantly. Kurt felt a hand grab his chin and he was looking into blue eyes that didn't look angry, just amused. "It's not nice to tease like that, Kurt. So what do you say we set some standards? If you're gonna kiss me, you have to do it right."

Before Kurt could get a word in, Adam cut him off, the kiss soft and sweet. Kurt quickly got over his shock and responded back eagerly, inhaling deeply, and running his fingers through the other man's wavy blond hair. Before it could get heated, Adam broke the kiss and leaned back against the bench, brushing his thumb lightly over Kurt's smooth cheek.

Kurt slumped against the back of the chair, eyes wide, a slow, easy grin forming on his face.

"Kurt? You okay?"

"More than okay," he said dreamily.

"I didn't overstep your boundaries?"

"Not even close," he scoffed.

Adam chuckled, "Good." They sat in comfortable silence before Kurt furrowed his brows and finally spoke up.

"So, are we like exclusive now?"

"Only if you want to be." Adam rested his palm on Kurt's reassuringly.

Kurt unclasped his hand, threading his fingers through Adam's gently, much to the older man's pleasure and surprise, and smiled gently.

"I want to be."

Review, please! :D