A/N: All right! Let's make this real quick and then you can move on
to reading the story. I warn you that this story is completely stupid and
in many people's case, extremely funny. I did not spend hours trying to
make this story perfect because it was one of those deals where it pops
into your head and won't come out. I hope you enjoy this story and please
review when you're done! Thanks!
He lay there, sucking his thumb, holding Mr. Moo- Moo (his precious stuffed animal cow). Tears silently rolled down his cheeks. Being evil was too evil. and so evil! How he hated being undercover, hiding from everyone. No one liked him. not even his servants- he could tell. They were scared of him. but why? Voldemort never did any harm. on purpose. He just couldn't control his wand, that's all. But nooo, who would ever believe him if he said that to the good citizens? They would laugh at him! And he hated being laughed at, it hurt his feelings very deeply. So he kept it to himself. he kept everything to himself. But somehow somebody always found out and went and told the whole world! How utterly rude!!!
He knew what he really wanted to be. A plumber- it had always been his dream. But he wasn't a Muggle. so he couldn't play around in the water. He had to go to a magical school and be around magical people and not plumbers! It always broke his heart thinking about what he could have become.
Suddenly, an idea popped into Voldemort's mind. He could quit being evil and become a plumber! With a new name. new identity. Why didn't he think of this before? Of course. he never had his Mr. Moo- Moo there to share his feelings. The next morning. he would go to the Evil Corporation. sign his name off and leave the magical world behind. in the past to forget and never forgive!!! How happyfull it seemed.
He opened the doors leading into the building. Inside, there were counters on two sides. The place was full of horrible looking creatures and Voldemort didn't know how to describe. I'm leaving this place in minutes. you can live a few more minutes! To tell the truth. he looked like he would only last a few more minutes because of his face and wrinkles. and that stuff.
He walked up to one of the counters, everyone bowing before him. Lockheart was there. He looked extremely scared and jumpy.
"You used to work at Hogwarts one year. the year I got drunk on margaritas. do you know how many I drank. I never could count," Voldemort said to Lockheart. "EEEEKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!! BIG, SCARY, HE- WHO- MUST- NOT- BE- NAMED!!!! EKKKKKK!!!!" Lockheart screamed as his reply, running in the other direction and ran into the wall, being knocked out.
Voldemort leaned over, looking down at the knocked out man. "Oh my lucky stars!" he said, feeling terribly bad that he frightened someone- again.
An old. very ugly witch (very UGLY) came over to replace Lockheart, still lying on the floor. "Sorry 'bout him. he's new. Says he ain't able to get any other job. Scares him half to death, this place does." She then realized who he was and went into a panic. "You ain't no person- you are Lord Voldemort! It's an honor to have you here, Mr. Voldemort." She didn't even know his last name! Even though he didn't have one, she didn't know!
"I would like to log off on the evil being contract," he replied.
"Log off? You saying off, off?"
"I think so." This witch started to scare him. Too many questions. so confusing!
"Okkkkay. please fill this out." She handed Voldemort papers and a quill.
Time went by slowly as he filled it out. Questions he didn't know kept coming up and he would have to make up the answer. Finally, when he finished, he handed the papers and quill to her. The witch took them and started looking over the answers and checking another piece of paper, writing down on something else often.
Voldemort never found out what she was doing, except the part where she stamped the papers and handed them to him. "We'll all miss you much," she said sadly. He couldn't believe his ears- he was free! Free of evil- free of magic!!! Not even taking the papers she gave to him, he danced out of the building, singing happily as he went along.
"FREEDOM AS A PLUMBER!!!"
he bellowed.
A/N: Hi again everybody! I just wanted to say that I need to thank someone. AngelBlack (check out her stories!) helped me on ideas for this story and if it weren't for her it wouldn't be funny. only stupid. So thank you, AngelBlack!!!
He lay there, sucking his thumb, holding Mr. Moo- Moo (his precious stuffed animal cow). Tears silently rolled down his cheeks. Being evil was too evil. and so evil! How he hated being undercover, hiding from everyone. No one liked him. not even his servants- he could tell. They were scared of him. but why? Voldemort never did any harm. on purpose. He just couldn't control his wand, that's all. But nooo, who would ever believe him if he said that to the good citizens? They would laugh at him! And he hated being laughed at, it hurt his feelings very deeply. So he kept it to himself. he kept everything to himself. But somehow somebody always found out and went and told the whole world! How utterly rude!!!
He knew what he really wanted to be. A plumber- it had always been his dream. But he wasn't a Muggle. so he couldn't play around in the water. He had to go to a magical school and be around magical people and not plumbers! It always broke his heart thinking about what he could have become.
Suddenly, an idea popped into Voldemort's mind. He could quit being evil and become a plumber! With a new name. new identity. Why didn't he think of this before? Of course. he never had his Mr. Moo- Moo there to share his feelings. The next morning. he would go to the Evil Corporation. sign his name off and leave the magical world behind. in the past to forget and never forgive!!! How happyfull it seemed.
He opened the doors leading into the building. Inside, there were counters on two sides. The place was full of horrible looking creatures and Voldemort didn't know how to describe. I'm leaving this place in minutes. you can live a few more minutes! To tell the truth. he looked like he would only last a few more minutes because of his face and wrinkles. and that stuff.
He walked up to one of the counters, everyone bowing before him. Lockheart was there. He looked extremely scared and jumpy.
"You used to work at Hogwarts one year. the year I got drunk on margaritas. do you know how many I drank. I never could count," Voldemort said to Lockheart. "EEEEKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELP!!!! BIG, SCARY, HE- WHO- MUST- NOT- BE- NAMED!!!! EKKKKKK!!!!" Lockheart screamed as his reply, running in the other direction and ran into the wall, being knocked out.
Voldemort leaned over, looking down at the knocked out man. "Oh my lucky stars!" he said, feeling terribly bad that he frightened someone- again.
An old. very ugly witch (very UGLY) came over to replace Lockheart, still lying on the floor. "Sorry 'bout him. he's new. Says he ain't able to get any other job. Scares him half to death, this place does." She then realized who he was and went into a panic. "You ain't no person- you are Lord Voldemort! It's an honor to have you here, Mr. Voldemort." She didn't even know his last name! Even though he didn't have one, she didn't know!
"I would like to log off on the evil being contract," he replied.
"Log off? You saying off, off?"
"I think so." This witch started to scare him. Too many questions. so confusing!
"Okkkkay. please fill this out." She handed Voldemort papers and a quill.
Time went by slowly as he filled it out. Questions he didn't know kept coming up and he would have to make up the answer. Finally, when he finished, he handed the papers and quill to her. The witch took them and started looking over the answers and checking another piece of paper, writing down on something else often.
Voldemort never found out what she was doing, except the part where she stamped the papers and handed them to him. "We'll all miss you much," she said sadly. He couldn't believe his ears- he was free! Free of evil- free of magic!!! Not even taking the papers she gave to him, he danced out of the building, singing happily as he went along.
"FREEDOM AS A PLUMBER!!!"
he bellowed.
A/N: Hi again everybody! I just wanted to say that I need to thank someone. AngelBlack (check out her stories!) helped me on ideas for this story and if it weren't for her it wouldn't be funny. only stupid. So thank you, AngelBlack!!!