A/N: Rose and the TARDIS have a little tiff.
Even this grass hut
may be transformed
into a doll's house.
Bashô's Narrow Road to the Interior and Other Writings, Translated by Sam Hamill.
I.
S.O.B.
(son of a bitch)
Sons of Bernie, the Doctor kept reminding her, but Rose preferred calling them S.O.B.s (son of a bitches). Sounded better, didn't it? 'I'm an S.O.B.' Oh, you're an S.O.B., are you? Hey, come meet this G.D. S.O.B. (god damn son of a bitch). It was amusing.
Childish?
Maybe. But who cared, really? It was harmless. She could easily mention a dozen things she'd seen him do or say that could be considered childish. And she was sure he knew it, giving up correcting her the third time she used the term.
"So you S.O.B.s lost it?" she asked with a sweet smile.
The short monk looked offended. The Doctor gave her a stern look.
"We didn't lose it," Brother Dermot said through gritted teeth. "It was stolen."
"How long ago did you say it went missing?" asked the Doctor. The little man turned to him gratefully – finally able to ignore her, Rose thought. She turned to face the chapel at large, examining the rows of pews as the big, strong men sorted things out.
"Well it was the last vigil – that would have been…five days ago, yes."
"Interesting," the Doctor said. "And of course it was there for the vigil?"
"Oh yes! We couldn't do the vigil without it. The stone is everything. It's powerful."
"Powerful, yes, but what kind of power?" The Doctor mumbled to himself. "What person could gain from using that power – and what exactly could they gain?"
"There were women!" Brother Dermot exclaimed. "The afternoon before the vigil – a group of them tried to enter the chapel. Brother Mikail had to turn them away…"
Rose felt rather than saw the monk's accusing stare on her back, and she rolled her eyes.
"Yes – well," the Doctor said hastily. "Doesn't mean they're the culprits, but I suppose it doesn't mean they're not, either…" He cleared his throat.
Rose glanced back at the two momentarily, noting the Time Lord was fidgety but held a pleasant smile. For Brother Demot's benefit, she had no doubt. Certainly wasn't for her. She turned back around to the pews and bent down – and then tried not to laugh.
"Have you searched the other Brothers' rooms?"
"You think the thief came from within?"
"You can't deny it's a possibility, Brother Dermot."
"Of course it's impossible! The Sons of Bernie hold the highest honor, the highest regard from the people –"
"Doctor…"
"To even suggest a Brother was at fault! It's slanderous, an outrage!"
"Doctor…"
"Perhaps it wasn't intentional, perhaps it was – whatever the case, you can't just dismiss all the monks here as innocent."
Rose sighed.
"Hey, S.O.B. This stone…it's red, yeah?"
Finally, Brother Dermot turned to her. A second later the Time Lord did, as well.
"Shiny, ten sides, 'bout the size of a golf ball?" She held it up.
"Found it."
He didn't speak to her as they entered the TARDIS, but that was okay with Rose. Silence was fine. In fact, silence wasn't enough. She'd go one step further. Without even bothering to stop at the console as he started the dematerialization sequence, she walked straight through the corridor. She didn't stop at her room. She completely bypassed his study.
She went deep into the ship. Further than she'd ever gone.
She passed countless doors, not looking in a single one. Not caring where she was going, and certainly not thinking about the Doctor and that chauvinistic S.O.B. Nothing seemed to stop her until she came to a dead end.
It might not have even really been a dead end. The TARDIS might have just got annoyed with her aimless wandering. She didn't care, but just in case the TARDIS was trying to tell her something, she took a peek into the end of the line, if only to be safe and avoid the ship's occasional temper.
She didn't know what she was expecting.
Some insight into the Doctor? Maybe something to enlighten her understanding of herself?
But it was just a wood. The Doctor had told her the TARDIS had a lot of gardens. She supposed it could have woods, too. It obviously had one, at least. It was pretty, as woods went. Nice tall trees with lovely yellowing leaves, like the beginning of autumn. Light poured in at an angle, the TARDIS simulating a still early morning. A narrow path nearly lost amongst the fallen leaves led the way up a little hill. She took a step into the room, browned leaves crunching beneath her trainers. The air felt crisp and refreshing. Cool, like after a welcome shower.
Very nice.
Curiosity satisfied, she turned to leave. But the door was gone.
"Damn."
She'd guessed wrong. It would have been better to leave well enough alone. Now she was at the mercy of the TARDIS. She hoped it'd be kind.
"Very clever," Rose whispered, staring at the spot the door had been. She put her hands on her hips.
"Alright, enough's enough. You made your point – don't mess with the alien. Got it." She waited patiently.
No door.
"Fine. I've been a horrible companion, and if you let me out I'll go and kiss his booboos all better. Okay?"
It seemed this was not okay and sarcasm was not lost on the ship. The pretty sunlight faded into a dark grey as storm clouds formed in the simulated sky. The clap of thunder ushered in a sudden wave of rain, quickly saturating her clothes.
Rose gaped a moment into the sky.
"Really? Really?"
The rumble of thunder was her answer, and Rose decided it was best not to argue. Turning, she ran, following the narrow path up the hill she'd seen bathed in dappled light a few moments before. Maybe there was a thick grove of trees or something to escape from the rain, which she noted was a bit chilly.
Instead, she spotted one better. A little hut at the top of the hill nestled cozily amid the trees. But the quicker she ran to it, the further away it seemed to be. She felt like she was in a perpetual state of being just almost there. Hadn't this been just a little hill? And how long had she been running up it now?
"Oh, come on!" she grumbled. "'S not fair!"
The TARDIS seemed to relent a little bit. Suddenly the hut was closer, and in another moment she had reached it. Rushing through the door-less entry, there was a clack followed by another threatening rumble. But at least she was out of the rain. "Thanks a lot," she huffed, no longer caring if she upset the ship.
The hut was simple, a stone table and benches on either side the only furniture. A single candle sat in the middle of the table – the only light and warmth in sight. Rose sighed and dropped herself down on a bench. Rain pelted the hut's roof, but it was dry inside. She, on the other hand, was drenched. Wet and cold.
Bloody Time Lord and his bloody spaceship –
Lightning flashed, brightening the small hut's interior, accompanied by yet another clap of thunder.
"Okay!" she exclaimed. "But you're not the only one upset! And I can't help it – only human, after all!" She threw herself back on the bench, grimacing as she stretched herself out. Sod it, she was having a nap. Her arms folded across her chest and she closed her eyes, determined to will herself to sleep.
It was still raining when she woke up, but the thunder and lightning seemed to have stopped. Her spine was punishing her for being so stubborn as to fall asleep on a stone bench, and she found it hard to sit up. But once she'd managed it she was rewarded with a small gift. A big, fluffy white robe lay on the table. Perhaps the TARDIS felt a little guilty. Though it was obviously still cross, maybe it was coming around. The rain might even stop soon, and she could see if the door was back.
"Thank you," Rose smiled.
She stood to strip out of her wet clothes, shimmying with some difficulty from her jeans. She unclasped her bra and peeled off her knickers before finally wrapping herself in the soft, warm robe. It even had a hood which she tried to use to dry her hair, standing casually beside the bench as she patted the wet strands. She glanced outside the hut, and her blood suddenly ran cold.
The Doctor stood not ten feet from the doorway, a large, black umbrella sheltering him from the rain. His eyes were like saucers as he stared at her. She was sure hers looked much the same. The sky and the hut were still dark, but she could see the flush in his face, and she could feel the one beginning to burn in hers.
Oh. God.
To be continued…