Queen's Note: Okay, this was a campfire story (in other words, one of us
would write one paragraph, and then we'd switch; back and forth and back
and forth, etc. you go it now, right?). This is how we solve the problem of
being bored. Expect there to be A LOT of plot holes. Obviously, the ages of
everyone are all screwed up, but no one cares. This is true entertainment.
Be grateful. lol
THE MUMMY/PEARL HARBOR CROSSOVER STORY
From the demented minds of: Diamond210 & Queen-of-Egypt
Hiro-Hito was sitting in his room pouting. He had called a gay-demented-old (did I mention fat?) fortune-teller to tell him the future. The dork said that in 15 years, he would bomb Pearl Harbor. Funny thing was, he didn't even know where Hawaii was. And he didn't know how much money he'd have in 15 years. So, to be safe, he decided to bomb Pearl Harbor---wherever it was- --now.
Danny Walker strolled by the pilot's station and saw Rafe McCaulley walking with Evelyn Johnson. Danny wished he had a girlfriend.
Rick O'Connell walked over and smiled sympathetically. "I got a girlfriend. And her name's Evelyn, too!"
Danny only sighed. He was a sad, pathetic dude.
Danny said, "May I see Evy?"
"Uhh. . . .sure?"
"Where is she?"
"I think she's over there somewhere," Rick answered, jerking his head in the direction of the restrooms. Danny began to walk over there, but stopped short when he heard the angry voices of Anthony, Gooz, Red, and Earl. He looked around the corner, and saw them holding two men against the wall.
"I swear, it vas all his idea!" one said.
"Beni, you bloody rogue, you talked me into it!" the other shouted.
"Look, I don't care whose idea it was. I just want my money back!" Anthony exclaimed.
Danny walked over to them.
"What the heck are you doin'?"
"These two jerks cheated us outa $500," Gooz answered.
"$500, huh?" Danny asked. He looked the two guys over. "Well, where I come from, that's an aweful lot 'a money."
"Yes, and I have children to feed," Beni commented.
Jonathan gave him a look. "You do?"
Beni glared at him. "YES, and so do you, remember? All six---"
"Seven!" Jonathan hissed.
"Yes, all seven of them."
"Well, they sound good to me. Where's Evy?"
"Oh, there she is!"
Evy walked over to them, obviously beaming with useless knowledge.
"Hey everyone, guess what I just read!"
Everyone sighed and turned their brains to "Half-Listening Mode."
"I read that there is a Book of the Living Dead buried out here in Hawaii! From what I read, it seems that. . . ."
Her voice faded out as they set their brains to "No-Listening Mode."
All but Danny. He listened to her every word.
"Can---can I help you find what you want, Evy?" Danny asked shyly.
"Uh, sure."
Just then, Betty and Barbara walked up. Betty smiled at Red. Barbara smiled at a barn swallow. Evy smiled at Danny. Gooz smiled at Earl. Jonathan didn't smile at all.
"Hey, everyone!" Sandra, who had just walked in, greeted. She flashed Jonathan a little grin. Jonathan tried not to look scared.
"Hey," Anthony said. "Everyone's goin' out to eat tonight. You two wanna come. You can bring your wives."
"Wives?" Beni said, puzzled.
"You said you had seven kids. . . . ." Anthony reminded. Then a knowing little smile spread across his face. "Oh."
"No! We're not---"
"Yeah, sure."
At dinner, Evelyn Johnson and Evy Carnahan sat on either side of Danny. *This is the life or what?* Danny thought.
Well, he thought until Rick, Jonathan, a prostitute posing as his wife, Beni, and Sandra (who'd been following Jonathan all day) came and sat down. Rick kinda sensed that Danny had a thing for his girl, so the first thing he did was kiss Evy. And kiss Evy. And kiss Evy some more. Until Beni finally hit him with a hammer.
Then Rafe, Gooz, Earl, Anthony, Red, and all the toher PH people sat down. Rafe also guessed that Danny had a thing for his girl, so he kissed Evelyn. Yadda, yadda, yadda. You know what happens next: Beni hits him with a hammer.
Danny forgot about the Evy's and went to Sandra.
"Hi, Sandra!" Danny beamed.
"Hi, Danny. What are you doing?"
"Nothin'."
"What are you doin' tonight?"
"Eating."
"Cool. Me, too!" She leaned over and whispered: "Between you and me, I'm try'n to get with Jonathan. Don't you think he's cute?"
"Well, I don't rightly know---"
"Besides," Sandra said, brushing a wrinkle out of her skirt, "I don't think his wife is very, er, faithful."
Kitty, the hooker posing as Mrs. Carnahan, winked at every man at the table at least 20 times in three minutes, apparently trying to figure out who had the most money.
"Yeah."
"Well, I gotta go." Jon said. He left with his "wife." He decided he'd get rid of her. Evy sighed and rolled her eyes. "Jonathan and his whores! I wish he'd grow up and leave those slimy casbah people alone! Who introduces him to those low-down good-for-nothings, anyway?"
Beni whistled nonchalantly. Rick glanced around nervously.
Evy frowned. "Well!" she stood and marched out of the restaurant, the other women following.
"Left! Left! Left! Right! Left!"
"Well," Rafe stated, "The gals are gone; let's order us some drinks!"
"Yeah!"
"I want a bourbon!" Anthony yelled.
"Did somebody say 'bourbon'?" a voice behind them asked.
It was Henderson, Burns, and Daniels. Henderson was a tall cowboy-looking guy with blonde hair. Daniels was a small brunette man and always with Burns. Burns was like Daniels only he was taller, thinner, and had glasses.
"Maybe," Anthony said in his attempt at a tough-guy-John-Wayne voice. "Whose askin'?"
"Stillwell Maurice Henderson, that's who!"
Daniels burst out laughing. "You're first name's Stillwell?! No wonder we always just called you 'Henderson'!"
"I wouldn't be talkin' Marion!"
Burns started laughing. "Stillwell Maurice and Marion! Jeez, 'Mary', you never told me your first name!"
"It's Daniels NOT Mary; got it, *Shelby*?"
Rafe died of laughter. The little soul/angel thing kept laughing.
"Shelby?! Your name is Shelby?! Ha! Ha! Ha! And I thought 'Gooz' was bad!"
Just then all the Americans' girlfriends came by and slapped them and themselves and left.
"What the heck. . ." Rick wondered aloud.
"Hey, at least they *have* girlfriends," Beni reminded.
"I wish I had a girlfriend. . ."
"Me too," Danny agreed.
All of them sat in a melancholy pout. Anthony even started crying. Suddenly, Red jumped up.
"Hey, I *do* have a girlfriend! See you losers around!"
Rick left, too, because he had a girlfriend. Then a little white dog came and Henderson shot it. They noticed it was Tia Maria la Zia Chicita (Queen's dog).
"NOOOOOOO!!!!!" Allie, who suddenly appeared, shouts. "That's not what friends do!"
The animal ambulance hurried over and saved Tia's life. Tia took a gun and shot Henderson in the head. Then he went in time and saw Allie old and fat and laughed.
Now that Allie is in the story, she has decided to drag Lexi into it, too.
Lexi did little cartwheels. This made the pathetic girlfriend-less guys laugh.
Then Danny saw her and liked her so he had a girlfriend and they left.
Now we're down to Anthony, Beni, Burns, Daniels, Earl, and Gooz as the pathetic bachelors. (Did you notice that that was in ABC order?)
Allie was getting very scared. There was "New Yorka" Anthony, "I'm- Hungarian" Beni, Dan-Akroid(sp?)-with-glasses Burns, Daniels (need I say more?), fat, dumb Earl, and "I-have-half-my-nose" Gooz.
"The freaks that I'm sitting with should die so let's go!" Rick said and they left.
"I thought Rick left. . ."
"Oh well," Burns smiled happily. "Days like this make me all sun-shiney inside."
THE END
THE MUMMY/PEARL HARBOR CROSSOVER STORY
From the demented minds of: Diamond210 & Queen-of-Egypt
Hiro-Hito was sitting in his room pouting. He had called a gay-demented-old (did I mention fat?) fortune-teller to tell him the future. The dork said that in 15 years, he would bomb Pearl Harbor. Funny thing was, he didn't even know where Hawaii was. And he didn't know how much money he'd have in 15 years. So, to be safe, he decided to bomb Pearl Harbor---wherever it was- --now.
Danny Walker strolled by the pilot's station and saw Rafe McCaulley walking with Evelyn Johnson. Danny wished he had a girlfriend.
Rick O'Connell walked over and smiled sympathetically. "I got a girlfriend. And her name's Evelyn, too!"
Danny only sighed. He was a sad, pathetic dude.
Danny said, "May I see Evy?"
"Uhh. . . .sure?"
"Where is she?"
"I think she's over there somewhere," Rick answered, jerking his head in the direction of the restrooms. Danny began to walk over there, but stopped short when he heard the angry voices of Anthony, Gooz, Red, and Earl. He looked around the corner, and saw them holding two men against the wall.
"I swear, it vas all his idea!" one said.
"Beni, you bloody rogue, you talked me into it!" the other shouted.
"Look, I don't care whose idea it was. I just want my money back!" Anthony exclaimed.
Danny walked over to them.
"What the heck are you doin'?"
"These two jerks cheated us outa $500," Gooz answered.
"$500, huh?" Danny asked. He looked the two guys over. "Well, where I come from, that's an aweful lot 'a money."
"Yes, and I have children to feed," Beni commented.
Jonathan gave him a look. "You do?"
Beni glared at him. "YES, and so do you, remember? All six---"
"Seven!" Jonathan hissed.
"Yes, all seven of them."
"Well, they sound good to me. Where's Evy?"
"Oh, there she is!"
Evy walked over to them, obviously beaming with useless knowledge.
"Hey everyone, guess what I just read!"
Everyone sighed and turned their brains to "Half-Listening Mode."
"I read that there is a Book of the Living Dead buried out here in Hawaii! From what I read, it seems that. . . ."
Her voice faded out as they set their brains to "No-Listening Mode."
All but Danny. He listened to her every word.
"Can---can I help you find what you want, Evy?" Danny asked shyly.
"Uh, sure."
Just then, Betty and Barbara walked up. Betty smiled at Red. Barbara smiled at a barn swallow. Evy smiled at Danny. Gooz smiled at Earl. Jonathan didn't smile at all.
"Hey, everyone!" Sandra, who had just walked in, greeted. She flashed Jonathan a little grin. Jonathan tried not to look scared.
"Hey," Anthony said. "Everyone's goin' out to eat tonight. You two wanna come. You can bring your wives."
"Wives?" Beni said, puzzled.
"You said you had seven kids. . . . ." Anthony reminded. Then a knowing little smile spread across his face. "Oh."
"No! We're not---"
"Yeah, sure."
At dinner, Evelyn Johnson and Evy Carnahan sat on either side of Danny. *This is the life or what?* Danny thought.
Well, he thought until Rick, Jonathan, a prostitute posing as his wife, Beni, and Sandra (who'd been following Jonathan all day) came and sat down. Rick kinda sensed that Danny had a thing for his girl, so the first thing he did was kiss Evy. And kiss Evy. And kiss Evy some more. Until Beni finally hit him with a hammer.
Then Rafe, Gooz, Earl, Anthony, Red, and all the toher PH people sat down. Rafe also guessed that Danny had a thing for his girl, so he kissed Evelyn. Yadda, yadda, yadda. You know what happens next: Beni hits him with a hammer.
Danny forgot about the Evy's and went to Sandra.
"Hi, Sandra!" Danny beamed.
"Hi, Danny. What are you doing?"
"Nothin'."
"What are you doin' tonight?"
"Eating."
"Cool. Me, too!" She leaned over and whispered: "Between you and me, I'm try'n to get with Jonathan. Don't you think he's cute?"
"Well, I don't rightly know---"
"Besides," Sandra said, brushing a wrinkle out of her skirt, "I don't think his wife is very, er, faithful."
Kitty, the hooker posing as Mrs. Carnahan, winked at every man at the table at least 20 times in three minutes, apparently trying to figure out who had the most money.
"Yeah."
"Well, I gotta go." Jon said. He left with his "wife." He decided he'd get rid of her. Evy sighed and rolled her eyes. "Jonathan and his whores! I wish he'd grow up and leave those slimy casbah people alone! Who introduces him to those low-down good-for-nothings, anyway?"
Beni whistled nonchalantly. Rick glanced around nervously.
Evy frowned. "Well!" she stood and marched out of the restaurant, the other women following.
"Left! Left! Left! Right! Left!"
"Well," Rafe stated, "The gals are gone; let's order us some drinks!"
"Yeah!"
"I want a bourbon!" Anthony yelled.
"Did somebody say 'bourbon'?" a voice behind them asked.
It was Henderson, Burns, and Daniels. Henderson was a tall cowboy-looking guy with blonde hair. Daniels was a small brunette man and always with Burns. Burns was like Daniels only he was taller, thinner, and had glasses.
"Maybe," Anthony said in his attempt at a tough-guy-John-Wayne voice. "Whose askin'?"
"Stillwell Maurice Henderson, that's who!"
Daniels burst out laughing. "You're first name's Stillwell?! No wonder we always just called you 'Henderson'!"
"I wouldn't be talkin' Marion!"
Burns started laughing. "Stillwell Maurice and Marion! Jeez, 'Mary', you never told me your first name!"
"It's Daniels NOT Mary; got it, *Shelby*?"
Rafe died of laughter. The little soul/angel thing kept laughing.
"Shelby?! Your name is Shelby?! Ha! Ha! Ha! And I thought 'Gooz' was bad!"
Just then all the Americans' girlfriends came by and slapped them and themselves and left.
"What the heck. . ." Rick wondered aloud.
"Hey, at least they *have* girlfriends," Beni reminded.
"I wish I had a girlfriend. . ."
"Me too," Danny agreed.
All of them sat in a melancholy pout. Anthony even started crying. Suddenly, Red jumped up.
"Hey, I *do* have a girlfriend! See you losers around!"
Rick left, too, because he had a girlfriend. Then a little white dog came and Henderson shot it. They noticed it was Tia Maria la Zia Chicita (Queen's dog).
"NOOOOOOO!!!!!" Allie, who suddenly appeared, shouts. "That's not what friends do!"
The animal ambulance hurried over and saved Tia's life. Tia took a gun and shot Henderson in the head. Then he went in time and saw Allie old and fat and laughed.
Now that Allie is in the story, she has decided to drag Lexi into it, too.
Lexi did little cartwheels. This made the pathetic girlfriend-less guys laugh.
Then Danny saw her and liked her so he had a girlfriend and they left.
Now we're down to Anthony, Beni, Burns, Daniels, Earl, and Gooz as the pathetic bachelors. (Did you notice that that was in ABC order?)
Allie was getting very scared. There was "New Yorka" Anthony, "I'm- Hungarian" Beni, Dan-Akroid(sp?)-with-glasses Burns, Daniels (need I say more?), fat, dumb Earl, and "I-have-half-my-nose" Gooz.
"The freaks that I'm sitting with should die so let's go!" Rick said and they left.
"I thought Rick left. . ."
"Oh well," Burns smiled happily. "Days like this make me all sun-shiney inside."
THE END