She thinks it's because it's none of her business. But she realizes, at the worst possible time, that she really really can't.
It phyically pains her to think of that woman. To think of him and Zoe, together on dates.
So she doesn't think about it, and she waits with baited breath until this, whatever, inevitably ends.
Because it will.
It does. Thank god. And it takes two months for things to go back to normal. Two terrible months where he doesn't meet her eyes, and turns off the intercom, like she won't notice.
Because as much as she can convince herself that she doesn't love him, it's harder to convince the man in question.
Donna Paulsen does not love Harvey Specter.
But she will, eventually. And she can't take it if it continues to be unrequited.
So she smiles when the intercom stays on. And she stops seeing Zoe's number in the call history. And he smiles at her, the same handsome way he did before.
It almost makes up for the blondes and brunettes he sleeps with to bide the time.
Until stuff starts happening.
She's angry. She's really angry. At him. She storms into his office one day, because he needs to know that,
"I don't love you."
Harvey looks up, surprised, and even though Donna didn't mean to say that, she's glad she did just for that silly look on his face.
"What are you talking about?" And Donna rolls her eyes and flips her hair.
"I keep saying it's not that simple, but it is. I don't love you. I did, maybe, that night after your father's funeral. But I don't now. So stop trying to hide the fact that your with Scottie now."
Scottie, that one was new. That one she didn't expect, but also kind of did, if that makes sense. Donna almost wants Harvey to admit his feeling toward her, just to put Scotty out of her misery. Because even though that feeling Donna has is rising up in top speed, she also wants Harvey to be happy, that's the only the she's ever wanted.
"I'm not hiding Scottie from you. There is no Scottie to hide." He says it smugly, like that last statement was all he heard, and also confirmed his suspicions.
"Stop, I don't care what you do with your life. I do not love you." She says if forcefully, almost overly harsh.
His face falters.
If it was anyone else, she wouldn't have noticed, but she knows Harvey like her favorite book.
She can't tell if it's because his ego is hurt, or if what she said truly hurt his feelings. Imagine that, Harvey Specter, best closer in town, with his feelings hurt. She almost smiles, but she realizes what this means.
"Harvey..." But she doesn't know what to say. She doesn't want to hurt his feelings, she just wants things to go back to before girlfriends, before she was fired, and just be happy with being there for him, day in and day out.
He's standing up, straightening out his suit, cuts her off before she can apologize, or say something.
"Message received. I'm sorry. I did not realize I was treating you any different then I usually am."
But that's the point, she wants to shout, you're usual has become distant and cold, not like it was.
She tries again, says his name, but he's already ushering out the door, stating a case he has to work on. Donna wants to roll her eyes, because she hasn't been working for him for over 13 years to learn nothing.
She sits in her desk and continues to organize, and reorganize, her files again and again. And when he walks to her desk to ask her to call some other lawyer, he doesn't meet her eyes.
That's how it is for the next week. And Donna is too sick of doing everything to confront it, because she knows him, and what he is going to say.
So she stays silent, waits for him to come to her, continues to hope that day will come, which is dampened by his attitude towards her.
But he does, eventually.
"Donna."
It's whispered, but it still scares the crap out of her. "Jesus, Harvey, you almost gave me a heart attack."
He grunts an apology and she rolls her eyes. She was just about to pack up her things and leave. Go home, and not think about her charming, but not to her, boss, and drink a whole bottle of wine.
"Donna."
He says it again, and Donna isn't sure if he's the one having the heart attack.
"What's up?" She says, plastering a smile on her face.
"I just wanted to say, I'm sorry for how I've been treating you." It's an apology, given in such a curt tone, that it has the opposite affect on Donna.
"Oh ok, so you're sorry, that's great." He says her name, but she's already leaving because she lied, she didn't want him to come to her, and now she feels like she has no control over this situation.
"What do you want me to say? Apology not accepted. Why don't you start over, and try saying something that is true for once?" She wants him to say that she hurt his feelings, that there really isn't anything with Scottie, and he loves her. Always has.
Say something. Do something. I'm ready. Ready to start that relationship we've deprived of ourself for so long.
"Donna, all I know is that I've only ever wanted to make you happy. I wavered, after you left, but if you feel any different then you did that night, I'll do anything, to be the one to make you happy."
What he is saying feels so real,and she feels tears running down her face, but she can't wipe them away, because she's never felt different.
She's always loved him.