Frisky

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!!!

Warning: Crack, OOC, and dirty innuendos. You have been warned.

oOo

He could feel it. It electrified his skin, tingled his bones, rushed through his limbs. He was alive, because it was that time, the time when need consumed him and he just new he would have to do something or he would explode. The sigh of fallen leaves under his feet roared in his ears, and the dappled light blinded him as his palms itched to feel the smooth velvet skin of a ripe lady in his hands. It was now.

Sesshoumaru was feeling frisky.

Yet, he could sense no willing, lust-filled, sexy demoness in his awesome, chi-sensing periphery. The spider lady-demon would just have to wait for another man, because Sesshoumaru would not allow himself to be the uke in a sexual relationship. He also didn't want to get his penis eaten, for which spider-demoness' were notorious for doing post-coitus.

And so Sesshoumaru decided to follow his hunt north, where, which, as luck would have it, was where he found an innocent virgin maiden bathing in a random hot spring. If some of the blood was left in his brain, instead of the lust-induced haze which occupied his head, he might have reasoned with himself and realized that maybe going after a certain time-traveling priestess was not a good idea, but a very bad one, especially when she had the power to disintegrate him like THAT! But, since his rushing, poisonous blood had rushed to other areas, Sesshoumaru was not thinking clearly at all.

And so, without further ado, for his raging libido was calling for release, Sesshoumaru strode confidently in the clearing, puffing his chest up and looking thoroughly pleased with him self.

Kagome gaped.

She probably would have screamed and blushed, except she wasn't naked, and neither, surprisingly, was Sesshoumaru. During her travels, Kagome had learned one important lesson, and that was to never bath naked, because who knew who would just pop up and see all her private, not-supposed-to-be-seen private bits.

After a few seconds of awkward silence, where Kagome stared and Sesshoumaru posed (though subtly, because he had a debonair, cold-hearted-bastard reputation to keep) Kagome broke the silence.

"Excuse me, Sesshoumaru, Excuse me? Hey! Could you leave, please? I need to finish washing my hair so I can go emasculate your brother. Please?"

Sesshoumaru blinked, unused to be rejected in such a matter. Usually women pounced on him left and right, because Sesshoumaru was teh hot and sexy notorious man whore who every bitch in heat fought to get to.

So why would this obviously needy and sexually frustrated miko refuse him?

"No, no, no, Sesshoumaru," Kagome said, who had read enough fanfiction to know what he was thinking, "You're supposed to either rape me horribly (but still have me like it somehow), or infiltrate my dreams so I can't stop thinking about you. Jeeze, don't you know anything?"

Sesshoumaru paused and blinked again. Was the miko still talking? Shouldn't she have pounced and started mating with him like rabid mating horny people?

Maybe there was something wrong with her. Maybe she didn't like his armor?

Sesshoumaru began to strip.

Kagome rolled her eyes.

"Okay, whatever. I can see you have only one thing in mind. So come and get it, big boy."

And with that they had hot steamy demon-miko sex which was, like, totally awesome and then Kagome had little hanyou babies who had super powers and where really, really cute, and she lived to be a million years old with her hubby. And the rest of the group was forgotten. As well as Naraku, who felt kind of left out. The End.

oOo

A/N: Don't ask, don't tell. Please review.