A Case of You
go to him, stay with him if you can but be prepared to bleed...
They had been sleeping together for four months before he let her stay the night. He didn't say anything. He just held her tighter when she started to leave the bed. So she stayed that night, and all the other nights after that. Another month went by before he cleared out a drawer and told her that she could leave some of her stuff in there so she wouldn't have to keep lugging her bag from the mansion to his apartment and back. She didn't make a big deal of it. She just thanked him for the gesture. He merely grunted in response to her thanks.
Everyone thought that she was insane for becoming involved with him. Everyone predicted that the whole thing would blow up in her face in less than a week. She pretended not to care what they thought, but she counted the days as they passed by, and she thanked whoever was watching out for them when the days turned into weeks then turned into months. It was hard, but the two of them were making it.
Of course it wasn't a fairy tale. It was something real, and messy, and complicated. He was a difficult person to figure out. He never talked when she wanted to talk and he wouldn't shut up when she just wanted some quiet. He drove her crazy. He dragged her to movies that deafened her with their explosions and he ate too much fastfood. He listened to recorded noise instead of music, and he had the nerve to tell her that she wouldn't know a good song if it smacked her in the face. He took it for granted that she cleaned up after him that when she finally got so sick of scraping off mold from the inside of his refrigerator and didn't tidy up for two weeks, the kitchen stank so much that the smell was obvious even in the hallway. When he finally realized that she wasn't budging on the issue, he cleaned the whole place himself. He did a good job of it, too, and he even made dinner. Later, though, she found paper bags marked with the name of the deli across his building. She thought of teasing him about it, but then she changed her mind. He had looked so proud when she had told him that she was impressed with his cooking.
She was the one who suggested that she move in with him after their seventh month as a couple. He became very still for a moment and then he said that they could try it. She hadn't even unpacked her bags yet when they had their first major fight. They had had arguments before, but this fight was different. He was hateful. He screamed words that cut her like knives and she finally ran out of his apartment in tears. He didn't go after her and she knew that everything was over. When she came back to get her things, she found him drunk on the couch. He didn't apologize for the fight. He just told her that he wanted her to stay and then he started to take off her clothes and, though she hated herself afterward, she let him fuck her on the floor and she promised that she would never leave him.
Sometimes she loved him so much that she wanted to die when he touched her. At other times she wished that he was dead. She wanted to know if he loved her, but she was afraid to ask the question and even more afraid to hear the answer. If he said he didn't, then she was a fool for feeling the way she did for him. If he said he did, - she didn't know what would happen then. She loved him and she hoped he loved her, but she had started waiting for the day when she would wake up and find herself free of him. Because this couldn't possibly last. They were doomed. Everyone kept saying so, and she was beginning to agree with them.
Then she came home one day and found him in bed with the woman who lived next door. After screaming and sobbing out her heartbreak, she left and went back to the mansion. Everyone was very kind when they found out what had happened and they refrained from saying they told her so. She locked herself in her old room and told them that she wanted to be left alone. She kept crying for hours. But then the fire alarm sounded and she listened as he fought his way past her protectors until he knocked down her door. He asked her to come home with him. She didn't say anything. She just took his hand.
Everyone told her she was insane for going back to him. Everyone said that he would hurt her again and again because the only thing he knew was to hurt people. She knew that they were right. But she had to pretend that she didn't care what they thought. She had to count the days that passed by and pray that they would turn into weeks and then into months and, if someone was watching out for them, maybe into years. It was hard, but they had to make it.
the end
("Don't go falling in love out there. It's nothing but heartbreak.")