I owe an apology to all who have read this story previously. It was terribly written, and I abandoned it in a long winded fit of self-hate. I wasted your tie, none of which deserved it. So here I am, making amends. I won't abandoned this again, I promise. I wrote this originally after playing Batman; Arkham Asylum, but nothing else. Now, I've played all three, the first one twice. So I believe I'll be better at writing this. He's the first chapter, re-written, and hopefully much better.

James W. Gordon sighed, running his hands through his greying hair. "I'm sorry, Batman. But Sharp's sick of all these breakouts. Most of these guys haven't left since they got here, yet the Joker's managed to break out 103 times this year alone. More than all inmate's track records put together. And it's only September!"

The Caped Crusader matched the old Detectives sigh before he responded. "But this is ridiculous. Bruce Wayne can't take him in; the Joker will find out who he is. Who I am." Batman sat down on the leather chair, and let his head fall back.

Gordon could see up the man's nose, which was barely visible from under the man's cowl, and he wasn't impressed. The man needs some tweezers. Can't he get his butler to do it? "Batman, please. It's for the safety of Gotham. He'll be less inclined to run off, wouldn't he? More interested in finding out your secrets, I'd bet."

Batman flung his head back up, and Gordon nearly jumped. He would have, too, if he hadn't of spent so many years dealing with rotten thugs that always attempted to get the jump on him. "Exactly, Jim! He'll know that Bruce Wayne is Batman. Then he'll use it against me."

"He wouldn't do that, Bruce."

"And what about Quinn? She'd come looking for him. Then I'd have two of them to deal with, one of which knows my biggest secret."

The commissioner sighed again. "You know he won't spread your secret. It isn't his goal. And you know he wouldn't tell Ms Quinzel. Plus, she probably won't find you. The Joker wouldn't be able to tell her where his is. Even if he was able, he probably wouldn't. He'd be having too much fun."

Batman stood up. "I want guards at Wayne Manor."

"And you'll have guards at Wayne Manor" James replied, nodding his head. "I assure you. Things are probably going to be fine."

"Fine." Bruce Wayne turned to walk out of the room, trying for something a little mystical. However, James' voice stopped him mid-stride, and he reluctantly turned back around. "What now?" He couldn't help but growl.

"I forgot to mention," Bruce didn't like the smug, overly confident look Gordon had on his face. It wasn't like him. His mind quickly jumped to the notion that this was Clayface in front of him. He shook his head, it isn't. "Part of this 'rehabilitation' thing; whatever it is."

Gordon reached under his desk and pulled out a pet cage. Bruce could faintly see a small puff of white, with what seemed to be blinking green lights. "The Joker has to take care of this adorable little kitten."

The Joker was in his cell block, bouncing a ball against his wall, then catching it with little to no effort. In the back of his mind, he was snickering at the blatant cliché.

The clown stopped throwing the ball when he heard a set of heavyset doors open, which was then joined by a set of footsteps. He grinned, knowing it was Batman. He always visited right before he was shipped back to his kingdom of Arkham Asylum.

He quickly turned around so his back was pointed to the bars, and made a show of fixing his bowtie. His smile widened as he heard the clunk of metal, and the soft thuds of boots as his other half walked into the small, upright rectangular prism that the Joker had grown partial to.

"Joker."

He spun around, and threw open his arms. "Batman! You're back!" His grin quickly turned into puckered lips, and he closed his eyes. "Give us a kiss, sweets"

Batman growled, and the sound of fabric rustling had the Joker almost panicking that Batman had decided to walk off. He opened his eyes and found the Dark Knight's still fist almost making contact with the kissy lips. "Oh, how could I not be a gentleman? Thank you for the reminder, Bats!"

Before Batman could react, the Joker grabbed his outstretched fist, and pressed his lips softly against it. Shock ran through Batman, leaving him unprepared for when the Joker bit his knuckles, hard.

Batman recoiled, and threw his fist back, before letting it slam into the left side of his nemesis' face. The force pushed Joker to the ground, but it didn't faze him. He rolled onto his back and chortled.

"Get up."

"Awww, why? Don't you wanna join me? We could have heaps of fun!"

Bruce gave an animalistic growl as he was losing patience steadfast. "Up." He bent down and grabbed the Joker's collar, lifting him up then throwing him against the wall. "Behave, or…" He let the end of his sentence trail off, knowing the Joker's curiosity was peaked.

"'Or…' what? What what what?" The Joker's eyes were as wide as his smile, and Batman gave a smug grin.

"Or I won't tell you the secret."

The Joker was a stickler for secrets, and he proved that as he quickly sat down in the chair. "I'll be good, Bats! Don't leave me hangin'!"

Batman immediately felt annoyed as he remembered what exactly he was meant to say. Should have kept my mouth shut. "Joker, you're being let go. You have to live with Bruce Wayne, for three months." Batman waved a guard that was outside the cell block. The guard brought in the cage with the furry animal and handed it over to Batman before leaving the room once again to stand with his partner.

"Here. You also have to take care of his. It's a girl."

The Joker carefully took the cage. For once, he was really lost for words. He racked his noggin for something – anything – to say in response, but it was totally blank. He was saved from his search for words when the kitten in the cage gave a small meow.

The kitten looked up at the Joker, but apparently found him uninteresting as she began licking her paw, acting as if she was royalty. All the Joker could do was blink.