Backstage With the VTones

by flashing lights

The VTones release their very first DVD. [This is ridiculous, and only makes sense if you've actually read the VTones.]

(Intro)

The screen is dark and blank, but the DVD hum makes it clear its spinning the way it's supposed to. There is a pause, and then a flash of light, another, and another. Slowly, five silhouettes fade in to view, leaning against each other, looking ever so slightly weary. Slower still, color fades in, and in case that wasn't clear enough, each boy gets his own subtitle: DUTCHY, SPECS, BUMLETS, MUSH, SWIFTY.

The menu: play, scene selections, set up, extras.

(Play)

(Scene)

Alejandro sits at a school desk, a book open in front of him, and smiles into the camera. "Hey," he says. "Welcome to the new DVD. Isn't technology great?" He laughs, awkwardly. "So anyway, we're the V-Tones. But you probably knew that, huh?"

(Scene)

Nick is standing on a basketball court. He dribbles a ball twice, then looks up and seems to notice the camera for the first time. "Oh, hello!" he says enthusiastically. "My name is Nick, and this is the coolest DVD you'll ever watch. It's all about the band I'm in. We're really great, honest." He winks.

(Scene)

CJ climbs across a large set of monkey bars, his knees dragging in the dust. He pulls himself up and through, and perches on the edge. "Hi!" he says, and waves excitedly. "Isn't this cool! We've got lots of stuff to show you that you've never seen before. Lots of backstage footage of us guys so you know what we're really like when we're not on stage—whoa!" He leans forward and nearly falls off the monkey bars.

(Scene)

Richard is in a red sports car. Light glints off it as he pulls to a stop and looks over his sunglasses into the camera. "Come on in," he says, and leans across to open the car door. "We've got lots to show you, we'd better get started."

(Scene)

Chris is swimming, and makes his way to the edge of the pool. He hops out and settles on a lawn chair, still dripping wet and shirtless, though he does pause to pull his glasses on. He shades his eyes and grins at the camera, then flicks a drop of water out of his hair. "Hey, y'all," he says. "They say I should get to work but I like relaxing like this." He laughs. "But I guess you want to see the DVD now, huh?"

(Scene)

All five V-Tones sit together, squished on to a couch.

"Well," Richard starts. "What happened was, Mr. Pulitzer heard me sing with a boys' chorus in the city. He said he was thinking about financing another group, and he asked me if I'd like to help him put it together, so I said, sure! Now, I knew Chris from school—"

"We were best friends," Chris interrupts, and Alejandro laughs, then abruptly goes silent.

"—we were close, yeah," Richard agrees. "So I asked Chris if he'd like to join, and he said yes right away! So we had two members, but we're both tenors, so we needed some different kinds of voices to give the band a real nice sound. So we started looking around."

"The first person we saw was Nick," Chris says.

"I didn't know them very well before," Nick says. "But I'd met Rich a few times at the Community Arts Center, and we'd seen each other around at auditions and stuff. So when he asked me to join and he said that Chris Ivers was in the band too, I couldn't resist."

"They found me on a street corner and took me in," CJ says.

"CJ…" Chris says, rolling his eyes, and elbows him in the ribs.

"Ow! Then Chris used to beat me until I learned to sing."

"He's kidding, seriously!" Richard says, but he's laughing a little. "We met CJ through my voice coach and he fit in right away. We just felt like we'd known him forever, so we were almost set."

"But," Chris says seriously, "we didn't have a bass singer, and we needed one, 'cause it bottoms out the sound of our music. And none of us sing that deep but, Alejandro sings… Alex, sing something!"

"Uh…" Alejandro clears his throat, then sings, "Chris is a looooser, a really big looooooser."

"Okay, that's enough singing!" Chris declares. "But see, he's got a voice that's low, right? Real low."

"Some people might call it a bass," Alejandro murmurs.

"Yeah, bass, right, so anyways, he was good friends with Rich, so me and Rich went to go see him in a school play."

Richard laughs, but doesn't say anything.

"And then," Chris continues excitedly, "we saw him dance and heard him sing, and we were like, whoa! We need this guy! So we bugged him and bugged him and bugged him and finally he said yes and joined the band. And that's how we became the V-Tones."

CJ started to sing, "Here's the story, of a band called V-Tones, who were—"

"CJ, shut up."

(Scene)

The boys are on a small stage, stacked with amps, and wearing white shirts and black track pants. Chris has on a very large, sparkly silver jacket, and a light blue bandana. He makes a face at the camera at the side of the stage.

The music comes up abruptly, a dance beat that the boys fall into naturally. Their choreography isn't too difficult, until it's almost time for the lyrics to begin; then Nick and Alejandro launch Chris and CJ into a series of complicated flips. They land just in time for Richard to begin singing, "It's ripping out my heart when I'm alone / and all I want is to call you on the phone / but no matter what I do they say you're not home…"

(Scene / scene / scene: several quick cuts of a complicated dance number, as shown at several different concerts.)

(Scene)

Back on the couch, Chris says, "We got to work with some of the best choreographers. Like, uh, Marion Gibson and Jim Sanders."

Alejandro nods. "And Wayne Robinson."

"Yeah, Wayne was great," Nick says, and Chris looks a little choked, but recovers quickly and nods. Richard laughs.

(Scene)

Wayne Robinson sits in an easy chair, nodding a little. "Yeah, working with the V-Tones was pretty cool. I'm mean, I've worked with a lot of great groups, I've done choreography for Shawna Rivers and the Uptown Boyz and Erica Spencer and everyone, but the V-Tones really are some of the coolest guys I've ever worked with. They had a lot of heart, you know?"

(Scene)

CJ says from his position on the monkey bars, "Of course, it's not always perfect. You know, when you live in a house with four other guys, and you're always at work with them too, and you travel together and you go everywhere together, you get a little sick of each other… Sometimes."

(Scene)

The boys are sitting around in the living room of their house. CJ, Nick and Richard are playing a video game. Rich abruptly drops the controller in disgust. "You know, I really hate this game!"

CJ jumps to his feet and begins to dance. "'Cause you're a loser, a giant loser, and you never win, 'cause you're a loser—"

"Would you please stop that?" Alejandro snaps from a chair at the side. He gestures angrily with his book. "I'm trying to read, or did you forget how to do that? It's those little words on the page—"

"—'cause you're a loser—"

"Would you stop calling everyone dumb all the time!" Chris yells, jumping up from another chair.

"I'm not calling everyone dumb! Just you!"

"Hey!"

"Okay, now," Nick says. "CJ, stop dancing; Richard, stop sulking; Alejandro, go read in another room; Chris, stop being dumb."

"Hey!"

(Scene)

Richard, in his car, allegedly driving in front of a very obvious blue screen. "Sure, we fight sometimes, but we really love each other. We're like brothers, you know."

(Scene)

Alejandro, at his school desk. "Well, it is pretty fun being in a band and all, but it's a lot of hard work. And things don't always go right."

(Scene)

Alejandro is carrying a cup of tea. He turns to the camera. "Chris is sick," he says quietly. "Come on, get out of here. He can't even get out of bed."

He waits, then rolls his eyes and opens the door to Chris's room. For a moment, Chris is visible, lying in bed with dark bags under his eyes and the blankets pulled up to his neck. "I think I'm dying…" he mumbles, barely audible, as Alejandro slams the door shut.

(Scene)

All of the boys but Richard stand around backstage, wearing costumes. A panicked stage manager is with them. "Where is he! You're on in two minutes!"

"I said, he's sick!" CJ yells back. "He'll be here in a minute, but he's sick!"

"I don't care if he's sick, you can't go on without him!"

"I said he'll be here! He's just sick!"

"Well if he's sick—"

Richard runs up. "Sorry, sorry I'm late. I just, uh, was sick. Yeah."

"You okay?" Nick asks.

Richard shrugs. "Yeah, well, um, no."

(Scene)

The boys are on stage, in the middle of one of their big, complicated numbers. A large firework goes off behind them, which is planned; they don't seem to notice. However, another one goes off quickly after it, this one catching the back curtain.

They all turn abruptly.

"Holy beeeep, that's on fire," CJ says, his comment censored. "I mean… Fire! Oh my god! Fire!"

"Oh my god, oh my god," Richard says.

A voice comes over the loudspeaker, "Please do not panic. Exit the theater in an orderly fashion."

Chris yells, "Oh my god! How do we get off the stage! Oh my god!"

Alejandro points down at a set of stairs. "That way, come on." He grabs Chris by the wrist and begins to jog off stage, and everyone follows quickly.

(Scene)

On a small stage, in front of screaming fans, the boys begin to perform a ballad: (God Knows) You're Perfect. The camera pans around the crowd, and there are numerous girls crying and many singing along. "And with just one kiss you stole my heart / I knew you were beautiful, kind and smart…"

(Scene)

At the couch interview, Chris says, "The thing about God Knows is that it's really, like, there's more to it than you even think at first, you know? It's like, not just about a girl who's really beautiful, but it's about how she's, like, empty inside at first 'cause people only look at her and think, like, oh, she's so hot! and guys only want to be with her 'cause she's real hot and all, but, like, there's more to her than that. And so when you look deeper, she's also, like, really smart."

Alejandro bites his lip, his shoulders shaking slightly.

"Something to add, Alex?" Nick asks.

Alejandro clears his throat. "No, no, nothing," he says, and coughs. "I think Chris pretty much said it all."

"And it's like, spiritual," Chris says, and Alejandro just starts laughing uncontrollably.

"Yeah," Alejandro says between giggles. "You can tell, because God is in the title." He resumes laughing, and Chris glares at him. He shrugs apologetically and gets up. "Excuse me, I need a drink."

(Scene)

CJ sits on the monkey bars and thinks. "My hobbies?" he says. "Well, let's see. I like rollerblading a lot, look." He pulls up one pant leg and points at a barely visible to the camera scar on his knee. "I got that when I wiped out on a sidewalk, I cut all up my hands and knees and there was blood everywhere! It was awesome!" He laughs. "Uh, I also guess I like playing video games and just goofing off."

(Scene)

Alejandro at his desk says, "Hobbies… Well, really, I'm kind of a bookworm." He laughs. "I guess my favorite author is Dickens, I know it's old fashioned but it's some really emotional stories. And I guess I spend a lot of time on the phone with my family, I miss them a lot when we're off on the road, so I guess that's a hobby. 'Specially my little sister." He laughs and waves at the camera. "Hi, Rosalia."

(Scene)

Nick sits on a bench at the edge of the basketball court, the ball in his lap. "Well, I guess I like sports, obviously. I mean, I really just like hanging out in arcades or watching movies with friends and stuff. I'm a pretty normal guy, really, I just like kickin' it with my friends."

(Scene)

Chris lies on his lawn chair, and finally says, "Well, you know, I guess my only real hobbies are singing and dancing! Which, uh, I do all the time. So I guess that's pretty sweet." He pauses. "What? Uh… Okay, um, other than that…" He trails off. "Um… normal stuff? Like what normal guys my age do. Uh… Yeah."

(Scene)

"Let's see, what do I like to do?" Richard muses, sitting in his car. "Well, I like to travel to new places, like, last time I had a vacation I spent it all in the Bahamas, I went scuba diving, it was awesome. And I like to play cards a lot, which is great, like, on the bus or on planes and stuff. Other than that, uh…" He grins shyly at the camera and then ducks his head a little. "I like going out with Shawna, she's really cool."

(Scene)

Richard and Shawna in a hotel lobby. He chases after her, holding what looks like one of her hats. "Hey, Shawna, wait up!"

Shawna stomps into an elevator. "Get lost!" she yells, and it shuts in his face.

Richard turns to the camera and shrugs. "She must not have heard me, she's nuts about me, I swear."

(Scene)

Richard in his car says, "Yeah, me and Shawna have been going out for a month now. So I guess I'm pretty much off the market now. Sorry?"

(Scene)

Alejandro at his desk. "Girls? Uh, no, I'm not seeing anyone right now. Um, I guess my type… um… You know, I like girls who are a little bit deeper, you know, girls who like to read and write and if I ever meet a girl who can teach me calculus, I swear I'll marry her."

(Scene)

CJ crosses his eyes and drops down off the monkey bars. "Well, I just broke up with this girl," he says. "And that sucks. So I guess I'm not looking for anyone right now, but the kind of girl I like is one who knows how to keep it real. Who doesn't care about the band or anything, who just loves me for me."

(Scene)

Nick is laughing. "What kind of girl do I like?" he cackles, then abruptly, "Oh, that was a real question? Uh… I guess just, like, tomboys. You know, real sporty girls who can keep up with me. I want a girl who's like a teammate, you know? Oh, and I like blondes."

(Scene)

Chris blushes. "Oh, uh, I don't really have a lot of time to date or anything…I guess I just like girls who know what's what. You know, who have values and stuff. "

(Scene)

The boys on stage, dancing to Get You Back. Chris starts the song: "I always think about you / I always think I need you / So give me some help on how to get. You. Back."

(Scene)

Girls in the audience are screaming. One girl turns to the microphone, hopping up and down. "Oh my god!" she squeaks. "I really, really love Nick, like, I want to have his kids. I have all of his action figures and I have pictures of him all over my room. I just love him because he's sooooo hot but he's also really sweet and sensitive."

She hands the microphone to a girl next to her, who is crying and has large, floppy pigtails. Between heavy breaths she says, "I love Richard. I mean, I know he's dating Shawna now but I just think he's so wonderful, every single move he makes is so sexy. I just, I…" She sniffles and the microphone is passed on.

"My favorite is Chris!" the next girl says, bouncing up and down. "Oh my god, he's so cute! He's so talented and I just love him! I want to marry him!"

The fourth girl proclaims, "No one believes me but my favorite is really, really CJ because he's so funny! No one else likes him best, though, so I guess I'm his biggest fan! He's so cute, too! I love you CJ!"

The next girl is also in love with Chris, and is crying; the one after her says Richard is her very favorite, and that she even has his autograph and how sweet he was when she met him.

"Gosh," says the last girl, who is a little bit shy about being on camera. "My favorite is Alex, 'cause he's so cute. I love his smile. And you just know he knows how to shake his Latin booty!"

(Scene)

On the couch, Alejandro's eyes go wide. "She says I know how to what?"

"Yeah!" Chris laughs. "Go on, Alex! Shake that Latin booty!"

"Uh…" Alex looks over at Chris, and shakes his head. "No."

"He's shy," Richard whispers.

(Scene)

Get You Back ends with the boys facing away from the audience. If one looks closely, Alejandro is, indeed, shaking his Latin booty. But then, everyone else is also booty-shakin', much to the excitement of the crowd.

Chris looks over his shoulder and waves. "Thanks everybody! You've been a great audience! We love you! Thanks again! Goodnight!"

(Scene)

The boys on the couch all look at one another, nodding. "Yeah," Nick says. "I think it's fair to say we love our fans. I mean, without them we wouldn't be here now…"

"Yeah, and I'd have some breathing room!" CJ yells, shoving Nick, who in turn shoves Richard, who shoves Chris, who shoves Alejandro, who looks wounded. He sighs.

"We really do just want to thank our fans," Richard says. "I mean, they're the greatest people on Earth. And so many people have been with us since the start, they've kind of grown up with us, and it's so satisfying to see people who really know us, who know all our songs and who keep coming back. It makes us feel like it's really worth it to keep doing what we do."

(Scene. The credits begin to roll, and behind them, home videos of the boys: Chris pretending a girls' hair brush is a microphone, Chris's audition for Game On!, Chris as a teenager. CJ jumps on a bed, CJ runs and kicks a ball while wearing a soccer uniform, CJ singing on stage. Alejandro reading a picture book, Alejandro holding his baby sister, Alejandro's school play, Alejandro dancing. Nick as a baby with a pacifier, Nick splashing in a pool, Nick doing a backflip. Richard on an old sitcom, Richard sleeping in his chair backstage, Richard on his variety show, Richard's mother washing his face, Richard on stage. The montage ends with the boys on stage together, and they strike a final pose.)

(End.)

This is what happens when you let the two of us rent old NSYNC DVDs. Really, we need a hobby. Also, we just like talking about Alejandro's Latin booty. Because, yum.