He knew that it was wrong to follow her, but he couldn't help himself after everything he had seen already. His broken heart wouldn't allow himself to pull back, to go home and pretend as though nothing was wrong, that he wasn't worried at all, but then he would be living a lie. In all truths, he had lived his life long enough to know that he was done with the lies. The world was safer because of him and his comrades, and his lies made his heart pained, knowing that he could not live again with a purer heart.
And it was because of his impure heart that his feet followed her closely from behind, wanting to see what other lies he had to live with.
But it wasn't heartache that struck through him as he saw her stop, smiling at a young woman he knew was her closest friend since their journeys to the lighthouses (hers to light and his to stop the lighting) had begun and ended. Relief has washed through him, more so than he'd wish to admit, but he did know that this feeling would only be short lived.
Although the blonde haired man was happy that it was a friend she had left to seek out, he understood that this was to end up horribly. It was this conversation that made him stay hidden in the trees, out of sight and quite possibly out of mind. It was because of those words these two women were to speak that kept him from relinquishing his worries, from going home and back to the life that he knew he was to lead.
All he knew, despite the fact that his heart burned with the acknowledgement, was that he wasn't the only man in her life right now.
I know you need a friend - someone you can talk to
Who will understand what you're going through
When it comes to love, there's no easy answer
Only you can say what you're gonna do
He didn't listen intently, but he did pay enough attention to figure what the two young women were talking about. It had been something, a moment in time, that had gotten him sitting there in the trees and bushes, listening in on a conversation that he wished didn't exist. They were talking about a day he hated more than anyone could ever know.
The day he had started suspecting, wondering if his fiery haired lover was as true as he wanted her heart to be.
It had been a normal day, as one might believe while in the hidden village of Vale, other than the rain that didn't seem to enjoy the idea of stopping anytime soon. But, to tell the truth, the weather didn't bother him as much as it had back when he had been but a boy. While the rain had only reminded him of his past sufferings, it gave him the joy of being able to snuggle in closely with the young woman who wore that matching ring on her left hand. He was given the graciousness of warmth from his loved one on cold nights, and he treasured them passionately within his heart.
As he was lifting the cover over their legs, like he had done since the beginning of their timeless relationships (whether it had been during their friendship or romance, he couldn't remember), there had been a knock at the door. He would've been the gentleman by allowing her to warm herself instead of getting the door, but she had persuaded him with a simple kiss, believing that his comfort was more important than her own. So, since her persuasion had been well done, he had stayed beneath the blanket until he had heard the door open- although that hadn't been all that had attracted his attention to the front door, hiding behind coats that they rarely ever wore…
"Hey, Jenna…"
The blonde wanted to curse the existence of the male who stood so at the door, his usually spiked red hair matted against his wet skull, but he did nothing despite his emotions. As much as the memories of her tears came to him time and time again like on a cinematic roll of film, he knew better than to interfere. He trusted her to make the right decision, and he trusted the other man to know his way out when she told him what he needed to hear.
"What are you doing here, Garet?" It was an understandable question, so he didn't mind it that much (yet) that she hadn't told him straight off to turn away and leave. He trust her wholly and deeply, so all of this hiding he was doing made him a bit ashamed of himself. "You know Isaac is here. We'll get caught if you stick around."
Caught? We? All of a sudden, he felt a whole let better about sneaking over here, following her…
"I missed you…" He watched patiently, his heart breaking the entire while, as Garet reached forward and pressed his fingers to her cheek. The blonde, hiding still, felt what was left of his broken heart shatter as the woman leaned into the other's touch, enjoying it when she should have thrown the backstabber back out the door.
Soon, she stiffened, obviously remembering that she had another man, the one she now called husband and lover, in another room. Recoiling, she pulled away, gently ushering him out from the home. "I'll talk to you later." She offered a smile- the one that used to tell him that all was fine and that nothing could ever go wrong. "I promise."
The red haired male quickly leaned in as she did her best to get him out, stealing a quick chaste kiss- one that she barely had the strength to pull from. "I love you", was his whisper, yet the blonde could hear his own thoughts screaming out, 'I hate you'. And as he started to pray that she wouldn't return those words…
"I love you too." A small pause came into being, and Isaac could feel something much like a knife plunge into his heart over and over again as he watched her smile sweetly. "Forever." Once more, he leaned in, but she stopped herself from giving in to his kiss this time by once more pushing him from her sights, out the door. "But I can't right now. He's in the other room. You know that." After another short moment of pulling and pulling, the man was gone and she merely gingerly closed the front door.
It was then that he stepped from the shadows, lost and broken, preparing to confront her of her adultery. Yet, when she had turned, startled by his presence, he knew that he couldn't. He knew that he had fallen too much in love with this fiery haired woman, and knew that she might only stay with him because she would know that he had been hurt by her actions. For some reason, no matter how much he might want her to be with him, to love him like he loved her, he could not confront her. So… he lied. "Who was at the door?"
If his heart hadn't already disintegrated already, it would have at the very sight of the relief he saw in those mahogany orbs he had oftentimes drowned in. She thought she hadn't been caught, her affair unseen by her husband's eyes. "Oh, um… no one."
He tried to make light of the situation, wishing upon all wishes he had ever made in his lifetime that he hadn't seen nor heard what he had as he smile obliviously. "Didn't know that no one could knock on doors", he said with a small smirk, although there did seem to be a slight hint of sadness prevailing through his voice. No matter how depressed he might feel within his soul he knew that she hadn't heard his heartache.
Instead of pushing the issue, since she knew that any more talking might be the demise of her marriage, the woman merely leaned in and brushed her lips against his. With a small chuckle, she pulled away from him, obviously having not noticed that he had made no move to return it. "Come on- it's cold and rainy outside. We have a fire to warm up with, not to mention each other's company."
If only he could allow himself such luxuries…
He did nothing but stand in place as she tried to pull him back into the living room, away from the hallway where he felt as though he had died in, and she gave a questioning yet frightened eye as he wouldn't budge. Forcing a smile while he tried his hardest to keep the tears at bay, he could only offer her a calm demeanor and nothing more. "I just… I remembered that I had promised my mother to check her roof before the storm got bad." He leaned in, pecking the place between her lips and cheek with a kiss that he knew he didn't mean. "I won't be too long, but… I wouldn't wait up if I were you- just in case."
Right now, under her confused gaze, he didn't care that he was running away, making up an excuse that didn't even exist. He didn't mind it that he was dying on the inside while she got away with loving that other man.
Isaac reached for his thicker tunic, not turning around to give the woman he had married another kiss goodbye after he slipped the material on, and then he was out the door. But he had turned left instead of right when he had gone up the road, aiming now not for his mother's abode but the bar, needed to drink away the tears that he wished could come. But the door of their home had closed before he had ever made it to the road, and he knew that she cared too little for him to even watch his parting.
The blonde hadn't even made it to the bar, but rather spent the night sobbing in the remains of the Sol Sanctum.
I heard you on the phone- you took his number,
Said you weren't alone but you'd call him soon-
Isn't he the guy, the guy who left you crying?
Isn't he the one who made you blue?
Isaac sat in the bushes still, bitterness creeping up on him in a way that he'd rather not feel- especially towards the one he cared so much for. He didn't want to believe that he could feel in such a way, with such painful ache and dimmed hatred towards the woman he knew he loved so dearly, but he knew deep inside just how he felt no matter how much he wanted to hide it. His mind could despise her, could hate her even, for the heartache she had put him through- yet the same organ that ached within his breast refused to do the same.
Still, he forced himself to listen in on the conversation that was being held mere feet away from his hiding spot.
"I still think of him, Sheba", he heard his lover confess sheepishly, as if know that what she was talking about went against all principals of marriage. Then again, one would have to be either unconscious or uncaring not to realize this. "Especially at night when… when I'm in Isaac's arms. I dream I'm in his."
The hidden blonde looked teary eyed at his strong limbs, wondering what curse he must've gotten to remind the woman he adored so of the man she, in turn, loved.
"Don't look at me like that, Sheba", the fiery haired woman pleaded softly, and her very own husband could hear the anguish in her voice. "You know I didn't ask for this… these feelings inside." He listened as she sat down onto the grass, and he could almost see in his mind, his heart, that she was close to sobbing. "I just… I don't know what to do."
When you remember those nights in his arms,
You know you've got to make up your mind
There was a long and pregnant pause, and Isaac could only assume that this meant that the other woman was thinking her friend's problem over, thinking up the choices that the mahogany haired girl had to deal with. As young as the young woman with blonde hair was, she was just as or even more so wise than most sages anyone could think of. This girl had, as he had heard, been the pillar of strength for the red-haired wife of a 'hero', as it was obvious that she needed her again.
Finally, she spoke.
"Well… I know that you love Garet- you've always loved him deeper than any other man- but… does he really love you just as much as you do him?" The question was in the air, as if the answer had been thought of before this exact moment, yet it seemed to have none about the problem that had risen between the seemingly happy couple. Her husband could only ponder if the question had been what had led her here, seeking out her friend, hoping to receive a help she didn't deserve.
But the woman's silence at the words that had been asked seemed to have given the blonde her answer.
"Well, if you're afraid to find the answer, Isaac adores you fully, wholly." Sheba gave a small giggle at her own words, knowing how they rang true above anything else. The man in the bushes thanked her innocence, yet her wise ways made him hope that she would turn his beloved back into his arms. "The kind of love he feels for you… well, there are those in your village who thought that his love had the purest of intensions, and others believed that the love you both 'shared' was one only written about in romance novels- the hero getting the girl who's always been there, right under his nose."
The red haired woman smiled sadly, a sigh escaping his lips before she could hold it back. "I know", she whispered, her voice filled with an anguish that her husband only wished he could take away- just like how he wanted those feelings he had hoped she had forgotten. "I know."
"You know, and yet you're still unsure", the blonde haired younger woman stated blandly, a nod accentuating her words. Her friend need not say a word to answer the statement that had been said- the girl knew just what the woman beside her now must be feeling in the situation she was in. But as understandable as it was, the other young woman seemed not to feel much remorse for her words.
Sighing, the girl gazed at her red haired friend with a mixture of sadness and sympathy, of annoyed anxiousness and a depression that could only be seen by the slight shake of her head. "Jenna… you can't ask me for the answer to your question- it isn't morally right for someone else to solve it." Brushing a strand of hair behind her ear, she looked to the one who had come to talk to her, a smile filled with pity upon her lips. "You have to make the decision yourself- who's going to cry later on? Who's going to thank God when your decisions are made?" Sheba took a pregnant pause, not sure if she should say the words- yet she was unable to choose before the words fell from the lips of hers. "You… or Isaac?"
From that point on, the friends started to speak of other matters rather than what Jenna had come there to talk about. Her hidden husband, on the other hand, had left his hidden spot and gone to a place where he could find solace to think straight- back to the Sol Sanctum.
Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you?
Or are you going back to the one you love?
Someone's gonna cry when they know they've lost you,
Someone's gonna thank the stars above
When Isaac had returned home that night, his face devoid of emotions due to the fact that he had taken to numbing himself, he found her sitting down at the kitchen table, hands folded before her. It was obvious that she had been there for a while, pondering over the troubles that he knew she had. Still, he wanted to take her into his arms and hold her until her sadness went away, be the lover that she needed right then and there- but his pain kept him at bay.
As his palm touched the stairway in his home, he paused, his lips in a tight and thin line. Slowly, he opened his lips, glad to be a room away from her for that one pain filled moment. "Tell Garet that he is coming over tonight." Inside the young man's chiseled chest, he could feel his heart breaking into more than a million pieces, only to break once more into zillions. "We… It seems that we all need to talk about this… this thing that's been going on." Listening to the barely audible gasp that she gave in return to his statement, he climbed the stairs with a heavy heart, going into the extra room that he himself had built for the possibility of having a family. If he had only known back then what he knew now…
What you gonna say when he comes over?
There's no easy way to see this through.
All the broken dreams, all the disappointment-
Oh girl, what you gonna do?
An hour or so later, the knock on the door that the young husband feared came and went, but he did not move from his place on the bed in the guest room. His eyes hurt from the tears that he refused to cry, and his body was pained all the more by the throbbing one could find within his chest. His limbs ached with sleepless nights, having been able to sleep beside a woman whom he loved so deeply who loved another just as he loved her. All in all, he was a mess of a man, unable to do a thing except wallow in his own heartache.
Yet, while his body wanted nothing more than to shut down, to stop working, his ears cursed him as he laid in the silence.
The door had been opened for the one who stood outside, and, from the sounds that ensued afterwards (or lack thereof), he could see in his mind what was occurring downstairs. He wasn't a Venus Adept, that was for sure, yet he still knew that his beloved was in the arms of his rival, his former best friend. He could see them in the hallway, holding on to one another as if they're their last hope for survival in this turbulent time.
It was there that his stomach began to turn, and his eyesight blurred at the tears that came to his gentle blue orbs from the pain in his heart. The reunion of lovers that shouldn't be, the return of a relationship he wished didn't exist… It disgusted him. So much.
You're heart keeps saying it's just not fair
But still you've gotta make up your mind
The blonde haired man finally man his way down the stairs, his steps slow and his heart lower than how it had been when he had found out about this secret relationship of theirs. How was he going to get through this night when all he wanted to do was strip himself of his manly pride and cry the tears he felt prick him? How was his heart going to survive when the one that it belonged to wanted another's? He didn't know the answers to those questions, but he did know that it was time for her to choose who she wanted to be with. It was her turn to find the answers in questions she didn't want to answer, and that was all he could think of now.
It was either him or Garet, and he meant to have this dilemma conquered once and for all.
He felt his stomach turn again as his toe touched the bottom of the steps, closing his orbs as he waited for his world to end. And, even if it didn't now, he felt as though it already had, back when the woman whom he had married had gathered into her arms the one who had hurt her so deeply. Yet when no sound came to his ears- no intake or long exhale of breath, no sounds of sobbing, nothing- Isaac found his eyes opening again, fear read plainly within them as he took in his first sights of his formerly happy home.
What he saw didn't give him much hope.
In fact, all hope that had been resonating within his strong breast seemed to have disappeared all together right then.
His wife was gone, missing from the hallway where he had assumed the secret lovers would have been, nowhere to be seen. She wasn't seated at the table, looking like a child who had been caught taking cookies from the jar, or in the kitchen, pretending to love her husband by earnestly making him dinner. Jenna, the girl whom he had called his friend before lover and lover before wide, was gone from his sights, from the home that had become theirs. She was gone, forevermore, and he knew then that she had made her decision.
Sinking down to the bottom step, the man took a seat, only to hold his hands into his face as it fell forward. A sob escaped him, and tears found their exit through the eyes that had once refused them.
Why was life so cruel?
Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you
Or are you going back to the one you love?
Someone's gonna cry when they know they've lost you,
Someone's gonna thank the stars above