(Last updated Feb. 27, 2014)
ANTOINETTE ARK part 1
Sorry For Keeping My Feelings in a Closet
I always admired my mother. I still admire her. I wanted to be just like her when I grow up. She's a fashion designer in the city. But she's always busy, so my dad took me to live with him in Zephyr. I guess I didn't mind. The style of the villagers wasn't as sophisticated as the people in the city, though.
I think I eventually decided not to be exactly like my mother, amazing as she is. Now, I can freely be myself, but also someone unique and charismatic like my mother.. I think you helped me realize what specifically I want to be. I want to be special. I still design clothes and accessories, but I'm more outgoing, more myself. Still the same, but different, but, oh, that sounds lame.
I was a bit introverted then. When I moved to Zephyr. All the people were super friendly, but I didn't talk much at all. Just wasn't my thing, you know? And you, you really stood out. You are much more energetic than all the other villagers, other than the kids. I didn't understand why you were talking to me that time. I tried to figure it out all day, giving up and deciding you were just weird.
There was another time, you were acting strange when I walked into the cafe. You had been talking to Marian, I think. I think that might have been when I figured us- I mean you out. You seemed very flustered, and didn't say anything while I was there. Marian tried to show you off and tell me your good qualities. I kind of teased you about it, too. I wouldn't have guessed those things about you - that you are dependable and a hard worker. I probably wouldn't have thought much about it at all. You cared for me, didn't you? And I cared for you.
And there was a day where I felt truly special. Looking out my window, I never would have thought you'd be there on that rainy summer day. What you did- I never expected that to happen to me.
My father teased me about liking a boy. I continued to sip my tea, a bit frustrated and annoyed, and I think it showed on my face. I could hear the steady tek, tek of the rain outside. Your footsteps blended in with that sound, too. You came in to say "hi" and tell me something in private. When you walked in, my dad and I were pretty surprised. Of course, after some small talk, my dad left us. I can't tell you how embarrassed I was... I couldn't believe my dad left me alone with a boy...
I sighed. "Uhm... I'm sorry..."
"Don't be. There isn't really a reason for you to regret anything."
"Oh...kay..." You were right, I worry too much. "So, what did you want to tell me?"
"Right... here goes..." You took a deep breath. "Um, Antoinette. I really like you..."
A blanket of blush covered my face. My heart stomped on the gas pedal, and my face felt as if it had just been baked in an oven. My feelings all went different directions. It took everything I had to not look away.
"..."
"And... it'd be cool if you liked me, too! It's be the most awesome thing ever."
My mouth could hardly form the words. "Um... I-I like you... too..." That's what eventually came out, barely audible.
Before I knew it, you leaned in and hugged me. You held me and kissed me. You told me you were "probably the happiest guy alive or something." Thinking back to your words then, I giggle, but immediately become serious again. I'll admit it, I was utterly surprised when you did that. My ordinarily pale face grew brighter than ever. Those simple treasures didn't last, though. It ended with you letting go, giving me a serious look, then hugging me tight again.
"...I'm sorry..."
I widened my eyes. "Wha...?" What do you mean?
"It's okay, Antoinette. I really, really meant all that. No worries, OK?"
"..."
"Listen, I got a job as a mail carrier. I'm sorry because I'll have to leave Zephyr Town... and you..."
I gently pushed you away. To think this would happen all at once... I had a headache. I was pretty sure there were tears on my face. I didn't feel them on my already hot face, but I was choked up and my eyes felt watery and hot. Then you tried to wipe them away.
"H-hey! N-now don't do that!" You rubbed his thumb across my cheek. "I swear to Goddess, I'll come back! Cross my heart!" You really did draw a cross over you heart. I could feel dedication and seriousness similar to how you are at work.
I sniffed and rubbed my eyes. "... And hope to die...?" Although those sorts of superstitions and promises didn't really mean much to me, and you could tell, the sentiment was strong at the time.
"...Yeah." You gave me a heartfelt smile.
"... Okay..."
Everything seemed to happen so quickly. I was really upset about this, and the silence afterwards was really uncomfortable...
"Hey, kids!" Dad burst in, making us jump.
"Dad!" I yell. Oh, Goddess, this is so awkward!
"I was getting wet outside." He reasoned.
"Um, you can go now!" I told you, pushing him out franticly. I was so embarrassed!
That day, I felt truly special, as well as sad, but it's still one of my favorite days. I didn't see you of when you left. Well, I did, but I was hiding and I don't think you saw me. No one else did, anyway. Except Ethel... Yeah... But she promised not to tell anyone, but I think she may have told Joan and Marian.
Now, I'm staring out the window again. It's summer, and it's raining, just like that day. It's been something like 10 years since I met you and two years since you left. I kind of wonder if it's raining where you are alright on your route. I'm sure you'll come back... I'm sure.
Having thought you were a freak... Or maybe I was the freak. Or we're all just freaks. Sigh. But... since I met you... I think I've gotten better at talking to people. I can actually imagine you saying that. That might sound dumb but it's a big deal to me.
I lean my head on the window, close my eyes, and a small smile forms on my lips. Tek, tek... Just like that day...
Just like that day...
"Hey, Antoinette, I think you've gotten way better at taking to people. See? You had nothing to worry about!"