Esthar-Bound
Ghastly Unknown Loserific Person (G.U.L.P.)
Summary: Er... Squall is feeling guilty about working too much and decides to tell Rinoa that he'll stay by her side forever, that he won't let them freeze her and send her to space like they did Adel. But does she want that or does she want to go into space so she doesn't lose control?
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would
If I could change I would
Take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all the shame to the grave
- Linkin Park "Easier To Run"
"No matter how hard I try, I'll never get used to this empty space beside me. No matter how long it's empty, I'll never stop missing you. You were there for me every night, my angel. Yet I worked too hard, then you're gone.
"My sorceress, I will always fight for you. Even if the whole world is against you, I'll be there to protect you from them. I'll swallow my pride, if only to have you back in my arms. I am sorry, and I will always be, for the way I mistreated you.
"My work now means nothigh, love. You told me to express my emotiond, right? To let you in? Well, angel, here it is. I'm laying it all out for you, pouring my heart out to you.
"Since Ultimecia's defeat, I've been with you. It will be three years in May, Rinoa. I have tried to work and love you, but I guess it didn't turn out right, my angel. You, the woman who made me express my feelings, should have left me sooner. You, the woman whom I love, have every right to be mad at me."
He took a deep breath, blue eyes tearful, before continuing his letter.
"Yet you ask me for forgiveness. You do not need forgiveness. For you are a sorceress and I am your knight. I was the wrong one. Never mind Zell or Quistis or Nida. Ignore Selphie and Irvine and Xu. Dr. Kadowaki can recommend anything, but I don't care. I love you, Rinoa.
"Even if I have to fight the whole world, they will not freeze you as they did Adel. Even if your power soon becomes corrupt, I'll be beside you, my love. I'll be by your side until darkness claims me. Like Seifer to Ultimecia, I shall be beside you. At the end, I shall not abandon you. I promise we'll make it through... Somehow."
Wiping a tear from his eye, he silently signed his name and placed the letter in an envelope, sealed it, then walked down the hall, dim lights reflecting his mood.
He knocked on the door, but Selphie answered. She smiled sypathetically at him and took his letter, but exchanged not a word with her commander. The door clicked softly shut and he sank to the floor on the opposite wall, back against the off-white wall, as he eagerly awaited her answer.
Seconds flew by, then minutes, then hours. Yet there he sat, blue eyes fixated on the dorm room door. Inside, there was soft talking, the occasional false laughter. Selphie's voice echoed happily with false bravado and eager suggestions. Yet Squall Leonhart still stared grimly at the door.
After an eternity, the door opened and toffee eyes peaked from the gap. He leapt to his feet, ready for anything. He long, dark lashes and toffee eyes drew his attention as she watched him.
And there they stood, facing each other, their eyes never breaking until the first word, when she blinked. She seemed so depressed, so lost without him. He was scared and needed her. Finally, she was able to break the silence by crying out suddenly.
"Forgive me!"
Somehow, she was in his arms, his hands upon her back. Tears, unshed before, began to fall, and both of them wept. They wept for each other, for themselves, their fight, and love. They wept for those three, long, lonely nights. They wept for true love and they wept for fate. She wept for her powers - corrupted by evil. He wept for her life, something dear for them to lose.
"You don't need my forgiveness, he murmured softly into the crook of her neck. "I am your knight, do as you will. I'll follow you to war, I'll follow you through hell. No matter the cost: my reputation or life, I'll be here always."
"You'll wait for me?" she asked, her voice muffled by leather, cotton, and human flesh. "You'll wait for me in that flower field? The one near Edea's?"
He smiled into her hair and held her tighter against himself. "I won't need to wait, Rinoa, I'll already be with you."
She shook her head, sighed, and pulled away. Her golden-brown eyes tolf what she needed to say. "I'll heed Dr. Hadowaki's advice," she told him. "Selphie's already reprimanded me for my choice. Please, just support me, Squall."
He swallowed hard, in disbelief and hurt. But he could not deny her this choice. "Of course, Angel. I'll disagree with it, but your choice is yours alone... I... I don't think I can go with you, though."
She kissed him chastely and gave him one last hug. "I know, Squall. I figured that you would stay here so you wouldn't want to free me..." She cleared her throat and stared into his icy blue eyes. "I leave at four-fifty... And I'm Esthar-bound."
- Ghastly Unknown Loserific Person
(G.U.L.P.)