You only tell me you love me
I.
We're the last to leave, we need some company
No need to look so shy, don't even wonder why
You know the reason that we need this company
Lieutenant Hubert Gruber observed René carefully as he wiped down tables at his cafe, having recently kicked out the last customers.
'Tell me, René,' Gruber now remarked, 'why are your waitresses not here? And where is Madame Edith?'
'Oh, they're out on some crazy mission to steal the priceless painting of the Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies again. I said I'd sit this one out. I have a business to run, after all.'
'You are very brave,' Gruber mused, remembering how scary Madame Edith could be – particularly with a gun – when ordering René to do things for the resistance. Gruber was leaning against the bar, sipping his cognac occasionally.
'They'll be out all night. I have better things to do,' René shrugged.
'Really!' Gruber said, interested. René frowned as he considered all the possible wrong interpretations for his statement Gruber would be able to come up with.
'What I mean to say is, if I have to close the cafe I lose my takings...' René rushed to the bar, poured himself a glass of cognac and downed it in one to calm his nerves. Being alone in the room with Lieutenant Gruber was always a stressful situation.
I've been sitting here looking out for you
Someone just like me who's maybe had a drink or two
Gruber observed him, then asked with a playful smile: 'Why is it that everyone finds you so attractive, René?' The cognac glass slipped out of René's fingers and shattered on the ground.
'I, erm,' René said hesitantly.
'I'm not saying that I don't see it... but I have wondered what, exactly, it is that I see...'
'How many drinks did you have?' René eyed Gruber suspiciously. The Lieutenant shrugged.
'I can't remember, exactly,' he replied. This worried René even more. He saw the German's glass was empty again, but he clearly wasn't planning to leave. Keep his hands busy, René thought.
'Do you want another?' he asked.
'No,' Gruber said, 'I don't think that would be a good idea. I still need to drive my little tank to the chateau.'
I don't want another drink or fight
I want a lover
I don't care whether it's wrong or right
I want a lover tonight
'To the chateau?' René said, his voice shooting up a few octaves.
'Well, yes, that is where I live, René. You know that.'
'But you can't go to the chateau tonight! That is where they are to steal the painting!' René protested.
'I don't care. I won't disturb them.'
'But what if they see you?' René was sounding really panicked by now. 'Michelle is with them! She'll shoot any German she sees...' He had gone pale.
'That is touching, René. I did not know you cared about me like this.'
'What? If something happens to you at the chateau and my wife implies me, I'll be shot! I'll end up like my late twin brother!' René added for dramatic effect. Gruber went rather white.
'Well, then, René, I think it would be better for both of us if I stayed here tonight.' René stared at him, not understanding what he was hearing. 'So that neither of us get shot,' Gruber clarified.
What have I gotten myself into now? René asked himself.
'I suppose you could have the spare room...' he said slowly.
'Oh, come now, René...' Gruber smiled and leaned towards his favourite cafe owner. 'Will you tell me that you are not feeling a little bit lonely tonight? Being here all alone? It's a cold night...'
'Not quite as cold as that,' René said nervously. Gruber gently took a hold of René's hand.
'Lieutenant Gruber... what are you doing?'
'Oh come now... Hubert,' Gruber insisted, slowly stroking René's hand.
'Hubert... you do know that I don't exactly... return your feelings?' Gruber shrugged.
'I'm not looking for love tonight, René.'
'Then what are you looking for?' René looked at their entangled hands. Gruber smiled. 'Just a little warmth. Nothing binding, don't worry.'
Put your arms around me, it doesn't mean you love me
Just that you want me and you need my company
Their eyes locked. René's initial need to refuse faded away. Slowly, he brought his hand up to touch Gruber's cheek. Suddenly, the bar seemed to be an enormous barrier between them, and René wished that it wasn't there. Gruber seemed to think the same, because he stepped around the bar and took both of René's hands in his before kissing him softly on the mouth. Surprised, René answered the kiss before he even realised what he was doing. They only broke apart when they both ran out of breath.
'Why don't we go upstairs?' René asked, trying to control his breathing.
'I think that's an excellent idea,' Gruber replied.
Turning off the light without another thought tonight
I don't want another drink or fight
I want a lover
I don't care whether it's wrong or right
I want a lover tonight
Lieutenant Gruber smiled as he looked at René sleeping next to him.
I want you, I want your love.
Author's notes: The song is 'I want a lover' by the Pet Shop Boys.